Thursday, November 21, 2013

I Beat Jeff (vol. I) <-optimism

I'm getting fit and in shape and I feel pretty good about it.  I am seeing a personal trainer, Jeff, who I adore, but he and the other trainers at the gym I go to are annoyingly fit.  For example, one day the workout was to do 150 wallballs for time.  Wallballs is an activity where you throw a 14 pound medicine ball at a line on a wall.  The line is about 8 feet up, so the process is to squat down low with the ball, then shoot up and throw the ball at the line.  150 times.

It was absolutely exhausting but I didn't want to take too many breaks to catch my breath because it was being timed and I wanted to beat all my peers. (I'm suddenly competitive.) I finished at right around twelve and a half minutes and was extremely proud of myself. Jeff was proud of me too. I thought I was the greatest. That is until I learned that Jeff and another trainer, Brendan, did the same activity; except after the 150 wallballs, they did a bunch of burpees, and then 150 more wallballs. Jeff did the first set of 150 wallballs in five minutes. Yeah, that's right, five minutes. I fought and scrounged and almost threw up doing it in twelve minutes, and he blasted it out in five.

My goal lately has been to do something, anything, better than Jeff.  It's not happening. I saw him do a standing ab rollout one day, so that is the current goal I am working on and I am getting closer. Just when I thought I was hot stuff, I saw him doing one-armed ab rollouts. If you are not familiar with ab rollouts, let me just tell you, a person has to be freakishly strong to do it with one arm. Freak-ish-ly.

I want to be that strong.

This morning Jeff was talking to my friend Rae Ann and me about his and Brendan's latest feat of strength. They had a contest to see who could squat down and hold it the longest.  Jeff said he beat Brendan and could do it for 8 minutes.

"I really have to poop."

We said big whoop. So what? Who can't squat?  So he challenged us to go ahead and try it. We did. I got nine minutes and quit because, why go on? That was all I needed to beat Jeff. Rae Ann went to 12 minutes and then only quit because she had to go to work. I still don't see what's so hard about squatting for time. The most challenging thing about it is that it really "engages the bowels" (if you know what I mean), but otherwise, what's the big deal? I'll tell you what the big deal is:

I beat Jeff. 


  1. Ever pee yerself doing that? Gawd, I love getting old.


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