State officials: Schools can open on Monday! Yay! Schools are so important to a functional society!
School employees: Oh great! This must mean that the infection rate is down! We did it! We worked and sacrificed together as a society for the common good! The pandemic is finally over!!!
State official: Well, not exactly. But we have gone from “unchecked spread” to “escalating spread,” What a success story! Yahoo!
School employees: …. Um…. okay, but it will be okay because employees will all get the vaccine before the schools open though, right?
State officials: Nope!
School employees: Alright, then that must mean that in the year we have been closed, HVAC systems have been improved or replaced to reduce the risk of catching an airborne virus, …. Right?
State Officials: Nope! (Not unless you had a bake sale to pay for it. Haha!)
School Employees: Okay, well surely at least enough N95 respirator masks have been acquired for everyone that spends time in a public school building.
State officials: Nope! But remember that mask drive where the kids crafted homemade masks with the scraps from their grandma’s sewing baskets? Wear those! (Better wear two.) Oh, come to think of it, the state provided you with a little blue surgical mask in September! Wear that!
School employee: Wow. Geez. Will we have access to some kind of affordable health care in case we get sick?
State officials: Sure! You have the health plan you’ve always had!
School employees: You mean the one that has a $6500 deductible? The one we pay $12000 in premiums for? That one?
State officials: That’s the one! But try not to miss too much work if you do get sick or you could be terminated and lose it. FYI! Stay safe! Maintain 6 feet of social distance! (when feasible).
Public: IF YOU’RE TOO SCARED TO DO YOUR JOB, THEN QUIT AND SOMEONE ELSE WILL DO IT!
School employees: Really? Who?...
Public: SOMEONE ELSE! YOU HAVE NO SPECIAL SKILLS! ANYONE CAN DO WHAT YOU DO!
School employees: We're "scared"? Seriously? But what about the mandatory lockdown drills where we are supposed to pile the kids up in a closet and bar the door armed with a stapler and a three-hole-punch to fight off an armed intruder? We do that every year. That's pretty scary, not to mention the idea that we are drilling to prepare for ARMED INTRUDERS AT SCHOOL because that's a real thing that happens regularly. Come to think of it, how can we maintain social distance during those drills; or any kind of drill?
State officials: We did say “when feasible.” Geez, nitpick much?
Public: GET TO WORK!!!!! MY TAXES PAY YOUR SALARY! YOU WORK FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE!
School employees: But… we have been working all year; teaching over the black box hell that is Zoom class.
State Officials and public: Also, kids are really suffering out of school. Their mental health is in free fall because you won’t go to work in your classrooms. This is your fault. You doing your job the same way it has been done for a hundred years is the only way to combat this problem. There are no other causes or solutions to the mental health crisis youth are facing; it is 100% because you keep asking questions and refuse to JUST GO TO WORK.
School employees: Uh,... yeah… a pandemic is devastating for ….. everyone, not just kids who can’t go to school in their school building; but I take your point and I am more than willing to do my part for the mental health of our kids. We should definitely work together to solve this problem. Could we hold off on standardized testing maybe? That’s pretty arduous in the best of times.
State officials: NO. We need a way to hold schools accountable and arbitrary standardized testing provided by giant private companies is the only way to do that. You suck. You do a bad job (as the results of standardized tests tell us) and we have never needed anything more than for you to go back to work right now. But please be safe. (When feasible)
Public: We don't really care about the standardized testing, but we concur: you do suck.
School Employees: ... Well. Okay, but can we get some sort of compensation like combat pay, or get paid more for delivering hybrid and in-person instruction? That's pretty demanding and is a lot more work. And since we are so vital perhaps compensating teachers for taking on additional risk and more work is a fiscal priority.
State officials: No. We're sorry, that is not feasible.
