Monday, April 30, 2012

Z is for The End of the A to Z contest

Well, I did it.  I blogged every day of April (except Sundays) and assigned each of my posts to a letter of the alphabet.  I won the contest.  Didn't I?  Was this a contest?  What did I win?

Just kidding, I know I didn't win anything (did I???)  I don't have much to write about today, so I will just give you the next Would You Rather question.  Last week's question: "Would you rather have a one-night stand with your middle school gym teacher or kick a puppy in the face" was a landslide in favor of sleeping with your gym teachers.  Gross.  I chose kicking the puppy in the face because I just loved clicking on the box next to the words "kick a puppy in the face."

On to this week's question!

Would you rather..

Have your picture on a store's "thief board" forever next to your bounced check


Run through the store naked just one time

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Y is for Yikes, I got some major blisters on my feet

When I was in Washington this last week I did a LOT of walking.  In my everyday life I don't do a lot of walking around.  Everywhere I go is a drive-to place so walking isn't exactly a means of transportation around here.  But cities, on the other hand, require a lot of walking, which I love.  I like the idea of walking to a train station, taking the train to somewhere in the approximate area of where you want to be and then hoofing it the rest of the way.  I think walking around is the best way to get a feel for a place.  When my sisters and I were in New York I insisted we walk from Battery Park to our hotel in Midtown.  It was a long walk, but we saw a LOT of stuff that way.  I went on a bus tour of the monuments the first time I went to Washington and it was cool and everything, but I didn't know where things were in relation to each other.  So since then, I've walked wherever I want to go when I'm there.

The only down side to walking miles and miles is that my poor feet aren't used to it.  I think my shoes must not fit right because I got two enormous, excruciating blisters on the back/bottom of my heels.  If you've ever had a cracked heel, it's like that but worse.  Deeper somehow.

I knew that during my visit Saturday was probably the only day that wouldn't be raining, so I wanted to do all my outside sight seeing that day.  I took the metro to the Mall and spent about six hours looking at the following things:

The Sculpture Garden

The National Archives.  I went in to look at the Constitution again, but there was a HUGE line, so I looked at the Magna Carta and skipped the rotunda.

Washington Monument

The Martin Luther King Jr. memorial which was amazing because to get to it, you have to go through a path made through a big boulder:

and it says this on the side of the King sculpture:

The part part of the rock that is missing from the path is the part that MLK is on, and it's moved ahead of the main boulder, forging a path.  Amazing.  

Then I walked around the Tidal Pool and made friends with this duck.  He probably just followed me because I look like the kind of person that has some food on her, but I choose to believe he really liked me.

Jefferson Monument

George Mason memorial.  Father of the Bill of Rights.  He was part of the Constitutional Convention but he refused to sign it because it didn't include a bill of rights.  He was neighbors with George Washington.

I walked past the Bureau of Engraving and Printing but didn't go in because they aren't open on Saturdays.  Otherwise I would be able to go in and take a tour and make some of my own money as a souvenir.

I walked by the Holocaust Museum, but didn't go in that day.  I went in a few days later.  Totally depressing.

I saw this guy playing bucket drums on the boulevard.  I heard him from a long way away and I would have never in a million years guessed that someone could make buckets sound like that.

I stopped at the American History Museum to look at George Washington's uniform and the Zeus statue one more time, and then I had a little lunch before going to the portrait gallery.

I saw this picture of Bill Clinton.  It's huge and is made of little squares with colored shapes inside of them.  When you step back, voila: Bill Clinton.

I also saw this crazy horse made from bottle caps. I love his teeth.
Lol, you silly horse.

Then I headed back to Amy's because my feet hurt.  I think I probably covered about 15 miles.  That's the day I got the blisters and they got worse and festered by the last day.  Ouchie.

The next day I went to the National Cathedral which involved a mile and a half walk from the nearest Metro station, uphill, in the rain, with my blisters.  When I got there I took my camera out to take pictures of the amazing gargoyles and stained glass windows and discovered I forgot my camera battery that I so thoughtfully and responsibly took out to charge the night before.  Crap. It was such a cool place, it was worth the rain, blisters, uphilliness, and lack of camera battery.

Oh, one more thing: Why doesn't John Adams have a monument in Washington?  He's one of the big three founders of our country and he doesn't even have anything.  That blows.

Friday, April 27, 2012

X is for not a lot of things that I want to write about

I went to Mount Vernon on Tuesday.  It was wonderful.  Actually, at first it was kind of annoying because I got there at the same time as about 15 school groups.  I went through the house in the middle of one of those stupid groups.  It was crowded and LOUD.  Annoying.

Look at that line.  Ugh.

Then I decided that most of those groups would be there and gone in the morning so I walked down to the wharf and pioneer farm and kicked around down there for a while. Most of the school groups were staying at the mansion and at the barns so I was out of the crowd anyway.  I met a docent in the replica slave cabin who was answering questions for people.

When I got there he was telling a few ladies about slave-life on Mount Vernon, and then those ladies left and it was just me and him.  I asked him how he knows all that he knows and he told me his personal story of learning about George Washington and falling madly in love with him (he didn't exactly say it that way.) It was a total George Washington geek/love fest.  I could have talked to him all day, but I only stayed until more people came and wanted to ask him questions.

Then I went to pioneer farm and walked around a little.

That's the sixteen sided threshing barn back there.  They put the wheat stalks on the floor and then horses come in and stomp it by running around the circle and the wheat kernels fall through the cracks in the floor and the workers collect it and then sift it and the seeds fall out of their shells and viola, wheat seeds.  Oh, George, you were so smart.

Then I went to the wharf on the Potomac to kill some more time until the school groups left.

I saw that big boat and asked about it and apparently they give tours every forty five minutes that take you around the river in front of the mansion a bit, and down the river far enough to see D.C. in the distance.  I got on with a family of hillbillies.  I know they were hillbillies because they talked and looked like hillbillies.  There was a chain-smoking mom and dad, and five boys between the ages of 8 and 12.  When the tour started everyone went on the top deck to see the sights and listen to the tour guide.  The stupid hillbilly kids were running around playing tag and yelling so loud and being so obnoxious we couldn't hear the tour.  Their parents were no where to be seen and nobody else was saying anything so I told them to stop running around and be quiet.  What?  Somebody had to do it.  They didn't stop running around but they were quiet.  No, I didn't trip them when they ran past me, but I considered it.  Pretty soon they left the upper deck and it was peaceful and we saw the mansion from the river.

Nice huh?
When we were pulling back up to the pier, I noticed that there was an osprey nest on some of the pilings.  I know it was an osprey because the guy I said, "Hey, look at that big bird!  What kind is it?"  He said it was an osprey and who am I to argue?

Can you see her in the middle?  She's kind of looking out at us like, "Hey, get the eff away from my nest, you rubbernecks."

By that time it was afternoon so I decided it was safe to go back up to the main part of the estate.  It was safe.  Most of the school groups were gone.  

For some reason, I'm extremely interested in the outhouses.  Here is a picture of the back of one:

See those little brown doors?  Those open up so the lucky lucky slaves could periodically go in and empty the catch basins so that they didn't have to dig big holes and move the bathrooms when they got full.  People would go to the bathroom either in there, or if it was the middle of the night or winter or something, they used chamber pots.  Yuck.  Here's a view of the inside of the bathroom:

Yeah, that's right, three holes.  HOW could anyone do that?  I wouldn't want to poop simultaneously, in the same room as anyone, even George Washington.  So I asked myself a Would You Rather question:  Would I rather not meet George Washington (I know he's dead), or magically meet someone who has been dead for 200 years BUT I could only talk to him while we were both pooping in his three-hole outhouse.  It's a tough one.  I think I'd rather not meet him.  

I thought I should go on the mansion tour one more time since I probably won't be back for a long time.  I am so glad I did.  I was practically alone.  I got to talk to the docents about stuff and when I got to the end, in GW's study, where he spent so much of his time, the docent stepped out and I WAS TOTALLY ALONE IN GEORGE WASHINGTON'S STUDY!  No, YOU shut up!  It was so fabulous, it was just me and his presidential chair and desk, and his books and his pictures and everything.  I'm really glad I decided to go through the house again.  I don't have pics of the inside because we aren't allowed to take pictures inside, so too bad for you.  I guess you'll have to go see for yourself.  

Then I went through the museum and educational center and shops.  I bought a lot of stuff.  It was a great day.  It's one of my favorite places in the world.  



SYLVIA NEY is So... what else?'s ONE HUNDREDTH MEMBER!  YAAAAYYYY, SYLVIA!!!!  You win the give-away of one of my cheap magnets from the So... what else? store.  Sylvia, email me at and tell me which one you want (or I could just surprise you) and tell me where you want it sent.  

Thanks to Sylvia and all the people who come here and see what I'm up to every day!  I really appreciate you guys!  

Thursday, April 26, 2012

W is for Walrus

Amy and I started our road trip from Washington D.C. to Minnesota.  We drove for about 13 hours today and have about 9 or 10 hours left for tomorrow.  It wasn't so bad.  We went through Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and now we are in Janesville Wisconsin.  So I guess W could be for Wisconsin.  Or Washington.  Or "What a day!" but when I was writing the title Walrus was all I could think of.

Sam and Kira texted us before and after school.  That was fun.  I told Kira this morning, "The 495 is like a parking lot!" and she said, "I don't know what that means." And I said, "Major traffic" and she said "What's the 494?" and I said, "It's the road," and she said, "Oh.  I get it now."  I guess that joke is wasted on 12 year olds who don't drive or know that freeways are numbered.  Later Sam asked where we were and I said, "Toledo" and he said, "Ha ha.  Really funny.  Where are you really?"  And I said, "Toledo!" and he said, "Toledo, yeah right.  You just made 'Toledo' up."  My son: Geography whiz.  And then I texted Mitch and said, "We are in Chicago.  We are going to go clubbing and get some authentic Chicago 'sausage.'" and he said, "Good luck."  He is so supportive of me.

Now we are in a Motel 6 on the ground floor and it has has two beds, toilet paper and a door; but what it boasts in amenities, it lacks in pillow thickness, but I'm so tired, I won't even notice because I'm sure when my head hits the pillow I will fall asleep and stay asleep until the serial killer that will inevitably come to the truck stop across the parking lot smashes the window and tries to murder us.  Amy is sleeping by the window though, so, you know, I might have a chance.

p.s.  I spent the entire day at Mount Vernon yesterday and it was glorious.  I will tell you all about it tomorrow.  

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

V is for Violin, and Vivacious and VD! It's also Bloggin' Wednesday! : Tilte at Things I Like To Eat (And Other Nonsense)

This week's Bloggin' survey answers are brought to us by the lovely Tilte from Things I Like To Eat (...And Other Nonsense).  Check out her Blog!  

If you still want to send in your answers to the Bloggin' questions, it's not too late.  Email me at

1.  Does your blog fit into a "niche" and how do you choose what to write about?  Have you ever pulled a post after you published it because you regretted it or got some horrible feedback?
I think my blog niche would be "life". Unless, of course, there's a niche for "colonoscopies, estate sales, & Uncrustables".

Originally, I wanted to post solely about food- whether that was restaurant reviews, recipes, whatever. But then I realized there were funny/ notable/ interesting things happening that didn't involve food, but I still wanted to write about them. I also realized I don't have nearly enough money to support the restaurant habit I had originally envisioned. 

I've never pulled a post. Once it's up, it's up. I HAVE received some negative comments in the past. But with blogging, it's bound to happen sooner or later.

2.  Do you read a lot of other blogs?  How many? Have you had contact with the bloggers, or are you a lurker?
I follow a lot of blogs. But I'd say there are about 15-20, give or take, that I read on a regular basis. The others either don't blog too often, or their content has changed, or maybe I've just lost interest but still support them.

I actually HAVE met up with some bloggers in real life! I attended BlogHer '11 and met up with bloggers whom I'd already "known" through the internet, as well as others whom I'd never heard of but ended up really liking. If BlogHer '12 was being held in CA, I would have definitely attended. But since that shit's expensive and I have dog food to buy, I won't be making it this year.

3.  Do you comment on a lot of other blogs?
I try to comment on the blogs that I really like (or the blogs of bloggers that I really like). I also comment if the topic or story naturally gets my brain going on a response that I think is worth sharing.

4.  How important is it for you to get comments on a scale of 1-10?
I think every blogger secretly wants comments like they want a million dollars. Depending on the day, I might feel more okay with not getting comments because the post might have been something that was done more for my own sake. Like a diary entry. Other days, I'm more like "Yes! THIS IS A GEM! My readers are going to be all over this!! :::refresh refresh refresh::: " WTF! How come no one's commenting??? Assholes."

5.  Do you respond to your commentors?
I'm really bad at this. I wish I was more on top of things and responded to every comment. However, what usually happens is- I approve comments throughout the day on my phone. By the time I get home from work, I'm like a zombie and the LAST place I want to be is in front of my computer. So, while I love reading what people have to say about any particular post I've done, I'd say I usually only respond to about half. :::cue sad trumpet:::
6.  How many followers do you have?  How did you get them?  
I have 169 followers through Blogger. 

At first, I used the old "find a blog, join, comment, expect the same in return" technique. But that was when my employment situation required like 1% of my day and I was also in a stupid marriage. So basically, I had all the time in the world. 

Since then, I've guested on a few blogs and joined a few collaboration blogs. I also try to keep my Twitter and Facebook accounts up to date with statuses that aren't just blog-post related. If my readers are anything like me, they're nosy as shit and want to know more about the bloggers they follow. Also, I think it makes us more relateable when readers see that we're serving Lucky Charms for dinner or that the toilet overflowed (again).

7.  How do you promote your blog?
Are Facebook and Twitter considered "promoting the blog"? If so, that's how. I've also been meaning to do a giveaway, but since I'm sure no one wants any of the junk I have laying around here, it's still "in the works" at this point.

8.  Do you write for any other sites?
No. I was one of the original contributors at Sprocket Ink, but my work just got too hectic for any blog that required commitment, scheduling, or thinking.

9.  What is your most favorite and least favorite thing about blogging?
Hm, this is a tough one because I really like a lot of things about blogging. I'm going to say my favorite aspects of blogging would be 1) sharing stories, 2) hearing how others relate to my stories, 3) making internet friends, 4) reading other people's funny stories, 5) honing my writing style.

My least favorite things about blogging are 1) not having enough time to blog as often as I'd like, 2) taking pictures of EVERYTHING I do just in case it turns out to be blog worthy.

10. What advice would you give to potential bloggers?  What do you HATE when you see on a blog?  What do you like to see on a blog?
My advice to potential bloggers would be: Don't expect to have a million followers/ comments over night. That shit only happens in Hollywood movies. (But if it actually DOES happen to you, make sure to let me know what you've done to get it that way.)

What do I hate to see on a blog: 1) White text on black background, 2) Music players that load right when you open the page, 3) glittery stuff, 4) thousands of self-absorbed pictures of the blogger.
What do I like to see on a blog: 1) STUFF THAT MAKES ME LAUGH, 2) affordable items (if it's a user review), 3) photos that show me more about the blogger's life.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

U is for Umbrella which we needed because it was raining today

Today (Monday) Amy and I went to the Capitol and had our wonderful Senate breakfast.  We had to get up in the middle of the night (5:30) to get there on time.  We were going to meet Amy's friend Jeff who is a staffer for Jeff Sessions. We got to the door we were supposed to go in and there was a sign there that said, "The following items are prohibited:  (the obvious things like weapons and bombs), and cell phones, anything with batteries.  What???  So we were wondering if we had to hand them over or something, but we didn't.  Nobody said anything about them when we went through security.  We met Jeff and some other friends and went in the dining room.  Unfortunately there were not a lot of fat cats having breakfast with us, but it was still a great experience.  I had "Senate Eggs," in case you were wondering.

After that Jeff gave us a little tour of the Capitol.  He said that all staffers have to take a tour guide course when they start.  He showed us the rotunda (finally!) and it's a lot smaller than I thought it would be.  I got to see the painting at the top of the dome with my own two eyes.  It was great.  Then he showed us the crypt and someone asked him a question and he said, "I don't know, google it," and Amy said "I bet they didn't tell you to do that in tour guide school."  Then he brought us on the tiny little subway that goes under the Capitol and the congressional office buildings.  Jeff had to go to work so then Amy and I went to Al Franken's office and signed the guest book and chatted up the receptionist for a while.  

Then we went to the Pentagon so Amy could check in at work and look at her email.  I met some more people who said that they look at my blog.  Wow! (Hi Kristin!  Hi Gene!  Hi Matt!  Hi Bill!)  Thank you, Amy for forcing all your co-workers to read my blog. We also went to the pentagon Starbucks which Kristin wasn't thrilled about because the last time she went there she got oatmeal that she suspects gave her food poisoning so bad she had to go to the hospital.

Then Amy and I went to the Holocaust Museum.  We weren't sure if we were going to get to go today because on the news this morning we heard that the president was going to be making a speech from there this morning so we thought maybe we wouldn't even be able to get close to the place.  He was done by noon so we got to go.  I made a total fool of myself when we were going through security.  I was kind of excited that the president was there earlier, so I thought I'd chat up the security guard about it as we were going through.  He was very unenthusiastically telling everyone "Please leave your cell phones and cameras in your bags, set your bags on the belt and go through the metal detector," and I was so busy asking him questions about the president: "Did you see the president?" (no), "Weren't you excited?" (no) "Isn't it exciting!?" (just put your bag on the belt), that I wasn't listening to him and I took my camera and phone out of my bag and he said, "LEAVE your electronics IN your bag," and I said, "Ohhhhhh..." so I put them back in and put my purse on the belt but the strap was wrapped around my scarf and it started pulling me into the belt and finally Mr. Grumpy laughed a little and said, "Hey, we don't want any accidents here."  It was funny.

The Holocaust museum: Total downer.

Then we came home.

Other things I've seen on this trip to Washington:
1. National Archives
2. Washington Monument
3. Sculpture Garden
4. Martin Luther King Memorial
5. FDR Memorial
6. Walked around the tidal pool.
7. Jefferson Monument
8. American History Museum
9. American Art/Portrait gallery
10. The movie 21 Jump Street
11. Amy's party
12.  Amy arguing with her friend Marcel
13.  National Cathedral
14. The Capitals (hockey team) lose in over-time at a bar with Amy who wanted to go to the actual game but nobody wanted to spend hundreds of dollars on a ticket to go with her.  Every time the Caps made a goal Amy said, "I wish I was there!" and then every time the Bruins made a goal she said, "I'm glad I'm not there."  She is a fair-weather fan to a schizophrenic degree.

I did not get to the National Zoo which I kind of wanted to do, but I did see a rat on the tracks of the subway while I was waiting for a train!  That was exciting!  Almost as good as the zoo.  Better than stupid pandas anyway.  I wasn't really looking but then this kid said, "HEY DAD! THERE'S A RAT!" so I ran up to look and I saw it.  The dad said, "Yeah yeah, stop yelling, get away from the edge," (of the platform).  But the kid didn't get away from the edge.  He kept looking and apparently developed an eye for rat-spotting and spotted about three more before his train came.  So therefore:

15. A subway rat.

Tomorrow I am going to Mount Vernon.  I might not come back.

Monday, April 23, 2012

T is for Tip the Scales! It's a Give Away!

No, not the weight scales.  I'm tipping those very effectively with no help at all, thank you very much.  I'm talking about the follower scale.  If you will look at my side bar and scroll down a bit, you will see a widget under the heading "My favorite people in the world."  It's the So... what else member widget. I know it's arbitrary, but as of my writing this, I have 96 members of this blog.  Do you know how much that bugs me?  I need it to be 100.  Four more to go.  Hey!  How about this:  I will give my hundredth follower a gift of their choice of Kira In The Car magnets from the So... what else Store!  Yay!  You could get this:

Or this:

Or any number of other ones.  Your choice.

Hmm? What's that, 96-people-who-pushed-the-join-button-without-knowing-that-the-hundredth-one-would-get-a-prize?  You want to know, "What the HELL?"  Well, sometimes that's just the way the ball bounces.

*Stay tuned for the story about how wonderful my breakfast at the Capitol was.  I'm writing this last Friday so I don't know yet.  I'm as anxious as you to know how it turned out. 

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Would you rather...

Hi!  I'm in Washington DC and I'm having fun!  Today I walked all over the Mall and I saw monuments, and museums.  Seriously, I think I probably walked 15 miles.  I basically walked around almost non-stop for 5 and a half hours.  It was great, but my proverbial "dogs" are "barking," as they say.  I got back to Amy's house and she was having a little get-together and some of the people there actually came up to me and said, "I read your blog."  I wanted to say, "SHUT. UP!" but I didn't.  I just said thank you, because it still blows my mind that anyone who doesn't know me reads my blog.  That is sooooooo cool.  I am awesome.

Anyway, it's time for a new Would You Rather question!  Aren't you glad?!?  Last week's question was, "Would you rather have wings but no hands, or hooves with no feet."  Hooves won big time.  I think for two reasons:  1) Having no hands would be really hard.  I would ALWAYS have an itch on my face, I just know it.  I'd spend most of my flying time looking for someone to scratch my nose.  And 2) Having hooves would be AWESOME.  Clop clop clop; need I say more?  Although, a reader pointed out that it would be hard to be sneaky with hooves, but another reader informed us that little rubber shoes for hooves actually exsist so now there is absolutely no reason in the entire world not to have hooves.

Oh. My. God.

On to this week's question:  

Would you rather...

Have a one night stand with your middle school gym teacher


Kick a puppy in the face

One of these puppies.  You choose which one.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

S is for Searches

Occasionally I look at what people google to get to my blog.  There's been a few good ones recently:
 does raccoons hibernate,become dormant,lose its leaves ,migrate??
Everyone knows raccoons become dormant but don't lose their leaves.  How could they survive the inactivity of dormancy with no leaves?  What an idiot.
 antibiotics from frog skin knife
What?  Who skins frogs?  Their skin is the most delicious part.  I was unaware that their skin contained antibiotics.  And I didn't know there was a specific knife for skinning frogs.  Just a minute,  I'll google it:

Never mind.  Google just led me to my own blog.
  de vaginas horribles
French perv.

caveman penis
Cavewoman perv.
 dr. quinn medicine woman unrealistic surgeries
To the person who googled this:  You better hope you never meet my sister or me in a dark alley.  "Unrealistic" my ass.
 effexor poop out
 I've never written anything about how effexor affects poop because I am WAY too classy to talk about pooping on my blog, however, since this person is obviously taking effexor, they are "pooping out" waste the size, shape, consistency and color of cannonballs.  Sorry effexor-taker.
No shit Sherlock.
  cuter than crayfish crappin
Have another look, there is nothing cute about that.
 stephen colbert's penis 
Stephen Colbert perv.
  azia hairy
This was on my list a few times.  What the hell, Azia?  Why do people want to know if you are hairy?

Friday, April 20, 2012

R is for Rickets! (that has nothing to do with the post, but it's the first R thing that came into my head. I'm losing it on this A-Z thing.)

I'm going to Washington D.C. today to visit my sister for the last time before she goes to prison.  Just kidding.  She's not going to prison.  She's moving to Norfolk for training for when she goes to Afghanistan.  She's in the U.S.O.  She's a tap dancer.  She's going to Afghanistan to tap dance for the troops.  Just kidding again.  She doesn't know how to tap dance.  I don't think.  (Amy, do you know how to tap dance?)  She isn't in the U.S.O. either.  But she is in the Navy so OF COURSE she is going to landlocked Afghanistan.  (raarrrr)

Anyway, I have to go get one more Mount Vernon fix before she moves.  We were planning to take a river cruise to the estate because that would be cool.  Amy looked into it and she said, "The boat will bring us there and then it doesn't leave again for three hours..." thinking, whoa, three hours is PLENTY of time to see Mount Vernon for the fourth time in two years.  And I said, "Nope.  That won't work.  It's going to take us WAY longer than three hours!" Ha ha! what was she thinking?  I bet she is dreading it.  But there is so much to see!  I want to go through the house again, go through the educational center, look at every single thing in the museum, walk all over the grounds, see all the little animals and buy more mints in adorable little tin boxes from the gift shop and so on and so on and so on.  I'm thinking we'll be there for eight?, maybe nine? hours?  Sound good Amy?!

We are also going to see the Holocaust museum. Par-TAY!

Then we are going to drive home together, bonding like crazy and holding hands the whole way.  

Thursday, April 19, 2012


I am interrupting this A to Z blogging contest to bring you a special news update:  I am going to Washington to visit Amy tomorrow.  Today she casually emailed me, "Would you like to have breakfast in the senate dining room on Monday?"  What?  Yes!  I couldn't even get in the Capitol last time I was there.  I stood in line for a while, and then got my bag searched and got scolded for having a granola bar, and then I was only allowed to go in the basement/peon level. I wanted to see the rotunda!  I asked one of the workers how I could get up to see the rotunda and he said, "You can't now.  You can see an exact replica over there," and he pointed to a Barbie sized replica of the Capitol.  No.  That's not what I threw away a perfectly good granola bar and an unopened can of Diet Coke to see.  That really chapped my hide.

Well, on Monday I get to be like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she goes back to the bitchy sales ladies in the fancy store who wouldn't wait on her and shows them what's what.  I will be eating toaster waffles and pop tarts with the bigtime movers and shakers.  I will see the f'ing rotunda.  And I get to go in the super private special entrance with no line.  So take that, guard-who-looked-at-me-like-I-was-a-mental-defective-because-I-tried-to-bring-a-granola-bar-into-the-Capitol.

Amy said that it is dress-up so I have to pack accordingly, but of course, I am second guessing my dress-up choices.  I don't know if it will be dress-up enough.  We Minnesotans are pretty casual, and I don't want to look like a dope.  I've decided not to take any chances of being too casual.  I'm just going to wear my prom dress.  Get ready senators!

Q is for Question: Do you think Teeny Hats are as funny as I think they are?

Happy Thanksgiving.  

This guy is trying to look tough while a teeny little hat is stuck  to his head.
How does it stay on?  Is it glued?

This is my favorite

Even people with teeny hats have to go to the doctor sometimes.

Oh, changed my mind, this one is my favorite.
This cat is going to a party.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

P is for Po'Daddy! It's Bloggin' Wednesday! :

Today's Bloggin' Feature is brought to us by Sandy at Northwoods Woman.  Thank you Sandy!  Check out her blog.  It's not too late to send me your answers to the Bloggin' questions.  Email me! 

1.  Does your blog fit into a "niche" and how do you choose what to write about?  Have you ever pulled a post after you published it because you regretted it or got some horrible feedback?
The long and the short of it is no, I don't think I have a niche.  I simply write about me, my life and I throw in a few "Oh, I love this product" posts.  But mostly it's a mismash of stuff with a little humor thrown in, because sometimes you just have to laugh at what life hands you. Yes, there was one post that I pulled because I got a nastygram from my Sister about it.  It was a good post, but she's stuck in the Stone Age of paranoia about someone possibly stalking her or stealing her identity with facial recognition or some other crap.  I pulled it and now we talk even less than we did before.  Gotta love family!

2.  Do you read a lot of other blogs?  How many? Have you had contact with the bloggers, or are you a lurker?
I have about a dozen that I read every day, and some that I keep tucked away to look at on occasion.  A couple of them know who I am, but mainly I'm a lurker because I don't want to be commenter 9,572 that the blogger isn't going to care about.  

3.  Do you comment on a lot of other blogs?
I'm not a huge "Look at me" type of person, so I don't comment on every post that someone has written.  If there's something that I really like, I'll say something, otherwise I'm mostly a quite fan.

4.  How important is it for you to get comments on a scale of 1-10?
I love comments (who doesn't!) but I'm not writing stuff just so I can get people to say "You're awesome".  But I think that people mostly leave one when I've touched on something that they can connect to.  So I guess the answer is 7.5.

5.  Do you respond to your commentors?
I'll respond 99 percent of the time, because it lets them know that I care about what they say.

6.  How many followers do you have?  How did you get them? 
I used to have about a dozen followers before Google Friend Connect banished anyone that didn't have a Blogger account and wanted me to use Google+.  I've since put up another similar widget (Linky) but no one's used it.  *sigh*

7.  How do you promote your blog?
I have a few forums that I regularly contribute to, as well as Facebook and Twitter.  Other than that, my family is my biggest promoter.  Love, love LOVE them!

8.  Do you write for any other sites?
I've never had the pleasure of someone asking me to write for their site.  I think I'd probably faint if someone did.

9.  What is your most favorite and least favorite thing about blogging?
I love having a place to write what I want when I want.  It's the best form of freedom of speech there is (as long as the government doesn't get their grips on it... grrr!) and I can just be ME.

10. What advice would you give to potential bloggers?  What do you HATE when you see on a blog?  What do you like to see on a blog?
The best advice I can give is to just be yourself.  If you try to be someone you're not, then you are going to have a hard time connecting to people.  The only thing that really bothers me about some blogs is that their either too bright or too dark.  I like something easy on my eyes. The blogs that I tend to read the most aren't cluttered with a ton of advertising and buttons.  Keep it clean and simple and I'll keep coming back.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

O is for Oh my goodness, I found a cool website...

I got an email from a woman a while back that said she was on a team developing a weight-loss website and would I be interested in reviewing it on my blog?  I told her I would try it out and write about it.  I am not really in a dieting mode lately, but I thought I'd join the site and go through the motions anyway just for the review.  I LOVE the site.  It's called Slimkicker and it's at 

Its more like social networking or a game than the old traditional keeping a food log.  I joined the site, made a profile, entered my ideal weight and we were off.  It calculated what I need for calories and nutrition.  I enter what I eat into a log, and I think almost every food - brand name and restaurant included - is in the database.  After I enter my food in I can click onto a nutritional allowance page and see if I got enough of the nutrients I need.  I think this is fascinating.  I never get enough fat or protein.  I always go way over on carbs and sugar.  I'm pretty good at getting the right amount of calories, fiber, and cholesterol, but I'm way out of whack on the rest.  I never knew that before.

I like how this site is more like a game than a diet.  You get points and can move up levels when you earn enough points.  You get points for entering food, exercising, eating good foods, doing challenges etc.  I get a little thrill when I eat some peppers or something and get a bunch of points.  When I earn enough points to go up a level, I get a treat.  My treat that I chose is a cupcake.  (counter-productive much?)  You can get friends on the site too.  I have a bunch already and they check in with me and ask how I'm doing.  I love it!  I'm still not in a dieting mood and don't really feel like reaching any kind of weight deadline or goal, but I'm having fun playing on the site and I feel good when I meet my nutritional needs and don't go over or stay too far under.  It's fun!  You should check it out.  If you decide to join, friend me!  

Monday, April 16, 2012

N is for Kira got a New fish (N is for the "New" of "New fish")

Kira has 103 dollars in cash, about 80 dollars on her Amazon account and 35 dollars on her iTunes account.  How does a twelve year old have so much money?  I'll tell you how.  She never buys anything EVER.  She occasionally pays Sam a couple of bucks to do one of her chores, but other than that, she doesn't part with any of it.  Until today.  After a lot of thought, she decided to get another pet fish.  She has had a beta fish for almost a year now and she takes care of it pretty well.  He always has food, his tank is clean, and she's even trained him to follow her finger when she runs it along the tank.  Seriously, he does it every time.  So we went to Petco.  Kira is so weird.  On the way we were talking about all our pets.  Here's a snippet of a conversation between Sam and her on the way to the store:

Kira:  I think we should get the bird a vest.
Sam:  She would HATE that!
Kira:  I know.

Anyway, we got to the store and she painstakingly pored over every single beta they have.  It took her about an hour to decide and she finally picked one.  Finally.  After that we decided to go to McDonalds for a quick lunch.  She didn't want to leave the fish alone in the car so she brought him in.  I asked her what she wanted for lunch and, while looking at her new pet she said, "I'll have a fish fillet."  Creepy.

On the way home from our errands she asked to stop at the grocery store so she could get some pure water for the fish tank.  She got a gallon.  When we were back in the car Sam asked her, "What tank are you going to put them in?" and without skipping a beat or cracking a smile she said, "I'm just going to put them both in this jug."  That made Sam and I laugh and she said, "What?  You don't like fish jugs?" which made Sam laugh even harder,  picturing a fish with boobs, but Kira didn't get it.

This might be the strangest picture I've ever seen.
Come to think of it, I don't know if Sam got it either, but he was laughing pretty hard.  Kira cleaned out her beta tank, put in the room divider and put in both fish, one per compartment.

That's her old fish, Knuckles, on the left.  The new fish, temporarily named Fish is on the right.  

Saturday, April 14, 2012

M is for - Would you rather... (what? I couldn't think of an M word and it's time for a new Would You Rather question. Okay?)

It's time for a new Would You Rather question!  Last week the question was "Would you rather use a litter box in private for a year, or use a toilet in front of an audience one time"  That was a tough question because neither choice is very fun to think about, but think about it you did!  You thought about what kind of litter you could use, you thought about having a marathon poop in front of the audience, you worried that if you chose the litter box option, you could never leave the house again, which made me think, "You poop in bathrooms other than your own? How???"  I chose the litter box option because I think I'd rather die than eliminate my waste in front of an audience.  But why is it so humiliating?  Everyone does it.  The majority of you chose to go in front of a crowd.  I can hardly go in a bathroom stall.

So this week's question is more of a "What would you love more," than "Would you rather."  Here it is:

Would you rather...

Have wings instead of arms 
(yes, there is flying, but no hands)


Have hooves instead of feet
 (clop clop clop)

Like this but permanent! 
If you have a "Would You Rather" question idea, email it to me!

Friday, April 13, 2012

L is for Love

Mitch is so in love with me.  You know how I know that?  Because he skinned his knee the other day and, knowing my love of picking scabs, cultivated the perfect pickin' scab, and this morning he let me pick it.  He whined and flinched and cried like a baby, like I was ripping duct tape off his eyeballs, but he didn't stop me.  He did all that just for me.  I would much rather pick a good scab than get a dozen roses, and Mitch knows that.  THAT's true love.

My sister told me once that in the dating world there is a concept called "The jar of scabs." Imagine you are in the bathroom of someone you just started dating. You are snooping.  In the medicine cabinet you find a jar full of.... something....what is that?...Bacos?...raisins?....Oh my god... it's scabs.  This is something your date never wanted you to know about, or at least not yet.  It's his literal jar of scabs.

Everyone tries to hide their most disgusting habit; their metaphorical "jar of scabs," if you will.  You can't let your dates know that you, for example: wipe your boogers on the underside of your end tables, or smell your ear wax, or eat when you're on the toilet; until they are so invested, and are so crazy about you that if they ever find out about it, they have no choice but to ignore it.  It just turns out that my "jar of scabs" is actually scabs.  I don't keep the scabs or anything.  After the scab is picked, I don't want anything to do with it.  I just like picking them off.  Boy, I'm really saying scab a lot in this post, scab scab scab.

Anyway, Mitch knows about my jar of scabs (metaphorical! I already told you I don't keep them! Gross!), and although he is disgusted by it, he knows what it means to me, so he was sweet enough to carefully cultivate a perfect scab for me to pick, even though it grossed him out, even though it literally hurt him to do it.  So, thank you again, Mitch.  I love you too.

What is your jar of scabs?

FYI:  I typed "jar of scabs" into Google images.  There were 54,000 results. Do NOT google "jar of scabs."

Thursday, April 12, 2012

K is for a non-Kangaroo and some other animals that didn't jump through a hoop

Conversation I had with a second grader last week:

Kid:  Did you see the animal show yesterday?

Me:  No, did you have an animal show at school?

Kid: Yes!  The guy had a big turtle and he tried to make it jump through a hoop!

Me:  Oh really?  Did he do it?

Kid:  No.

Me:  Were there any other animals?

Kid:  Yeah, the guy had a giant bunny that hopped on its back legs.

Me:  Are you sure it wasn't a kangaroo?

Kid:  Yeah, I'm sure.  It was way smaller than a kangaroo.  The guy tried to make him jump through the hoop too.

Me:  Did he do it?

Kid:  No.

Me:  Oh.

Kid: He had a big snake too.

Me:  Did the snake jump through the hoop?

Kid:  No.

giant bunny

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

J is for Joy! It's Bloggin' Wednesday! : Angie Uncovered

Today's Bloggin' feature is brought to us by Angie from Angie Uncovered.  Check out her blog!  Thanks Angie!  It's never too late to submit your own Bloggin' answers.  Email them to me!

1.  Does your blog fit into a "niche" and how do you choose what to write about?  Have you ever pulled a post after you published it because you regretted it or got some horrible feedback?
My little slice of blogosphere is mostly about self-discovery and relationships. I write about family and growing up (then and now) as a way of figuring out where I’ll go from here and how it impacts my relationship decisions. As to the pulling a post... hell yes. I have written about an ex or two and then realized they may see it and I didn’t want to acknowledge (to them) how much they had hurt me so I unpublished. I’m still a bit of a sissy sometimes.

2.  Do you read a lot of other blogs?  How many? Have you had contact with the bloggers, or are you a lurker?
I have about 30 blogs I follow regularly. I have had real-life contact with other bloggers and plan to have more meet ups in the future.

3.  Do you comment on a lot of other blogs?
If the blog makes me smile or think I always try to let the writer know that it moved me in one way or another. Of course there are times I will enjoy someone’s writings and feel I have nothing of value to add. Many times I wish blogs had a like button. In some cases I will submit them to stumbleupon.

4.  How important is it for you to get comments on a scale of 1-10?
I’m dead in the middle on that scale. There are times when I just don’t care because I’ve written strictly for myself and from my heart. When I am writing for feedback I specifically ask for it. They are awesome either way! Comments are ALWAYS welcome. It’s nice to know you’ve left an impression.

5.  Do you respond to your commentors?
Always. Sometimes I’m late (weekends usually), but I try to reply to everyone. They’ve taken their time to read my work and share part of themselves with me, so I feel it’s the least I can do. It helps that many of my commenters are very compelling in their own right!

6.  How many followers do you have?  How did you get them?  
I believe I have 72 currently. It’s all been organic, word of mouth, people who have found me through other blogs or blog comments.

7.  How do you promote your blog?
Twitter, Facebook, Stumble, Google+

8.  Do you write for any other sites?
I have written at Bloggy Moms and Eden CafĂ©. I also do a weekly point/counterpoint segment with Shane at It’s been a great experience in writing and debate.

9.  What is your most favorite and least favorite thing about blogging?
The favorite part for me is that it’s cathartic. Whether I have heartache, irritation, or joy bubbling to the surface my blog gives me an outlet.
I don’t know that I have a least favorite side!

10. What advice would you give to potential bloggers?  What do you HATE when you see on a blog?  What do you like to see on a blog?
Stick with it. No one else can tell you how to write your story. If you write what you’re feeling  even when you didn’t choose the topic you can’t go wrong.
I try to remember that everyone’s blog has it’s own purpose. I said try. I have only hate one hateful experience with a blog when they were asking for money for a personal reason after bragging for a week straight about their recent vacation. Poor form!
I love seeing a blog that someone actually puts their heart into and can show you a glimpse of the real person behind the keystrokes.