Mother of the Year

I have kind of liked the song "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People for a while but I never listened to the words.  I thought it they were saying, "something something something, la la la, my bucket."  It's such a happy, lighthearted tune, it even has whistling! I just assumed the lyrics were something happy and lighthearted.  Something to do with a guy's bucket.  When I was driving Sam to his first day of school this morning the song came on and I was singing along with it, and telling him how much I love it, and isn't it great to go to school the first day and hear such a happy song on the radio?  Turn it UP!  What a great day!  I decided I liked it so much that I would download it so when I came back home, that's what I did.  While it was loading I looked up the lyrics to see what could be so interesting about that guy's bucket, but they weren't saying bucket, they were saying bullet.  The song is about a kid who gets a hold of a gun (a six shooter!) and goes after all the mean kids with the "pumped up kicks."  The chorus says:

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet.
I read that and said, "........ oh."  And then I thought about how I sent my ninth grader off to his first day of high school humming a tune about a kid shooting his peers.  Best. Mothering. Ever.
I still love the song, and I might love it even more because I find the duplicity kind of hilarious.  "Run before I shoot you!  Hee hee! Whistle whistle! *skip skip skip* La la la... BTW nice shoes!"

Some thoughts on songs on my iPod

I took a long trip with my kids last week which involved lots of driving.  I listened to my iPod a LOT.  A while back I downloaded the song Born This Way by Lady GaGa because I love her and the song is so catchy and has a good message (as far as I could tell).  I was listening to it in the car and discovered that I don't really know the words, so I thought I would listen to it line by line, write down what I think the words are, and then look up the lyrics and see if I was close.  I'll put the correct line next to any that I get wrong:

It doesn't matter if you love him
Or capital H-I-M..M..M..M
Just put your paws up
'Cuz you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We're all born super stars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are, she said
'Cuz he made ya perfect, babe
So hold your head up, girl and you'll go far
There's a whole new way to save!                     (Listen to me when I say)

I'm beautiful in a way
'Cuz God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't rot yourself and regret                               (Don't hide yourself and regret)
'Cuz love itself ain't upset                                    (Just love yourself and your set)
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby I was born this way!
(repeat)

Don't be a drag
Just be a queen
Don't be a drag
Just be a queen
Don't be a drag
Scklepp sheel sklep                                     (???)

Give yourself prudence
 And love your friends
Subway can rejoice the truth                        (Subway kid, rejoice your truth)
And the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
But if Renoir is not a sin                                (A different lover is not a sin)
Believe capital H-I-M

O lova lava of this record end                        (I love this life, I love this record)
Me llamo yega yega yam yam                        (Me amore vole fe yah)

(Chorus)

Way
Don't be
Way
Don't be a drag
Just be a queen
Whether your broke
Or evergreen
You're black, white, bass                    (You're black, white, beige)
You're levisant                                    (chola descent)
You're lebanese
You're orient

Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cuz baby, you were born this way
No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgender life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black white or beige
Sholat or orient made                                    (chola, or orient made)
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

Chorus

That wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.  I was pretty close.  What is "Chola?"  I suppose I could Google it but I don't want to.  I Googled enough today.  Another thing that had me concerned during the ten hours of listening was the story in The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, mainly this:

The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the Gales of November came slashin'.

They had to wait for breakfast because of the terrifying storm.  Ugh, I hate waiting for breakfast, and then...

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin'.
Fellas, it's too rough to feed ya.
At Seven P.M. a main hatchway caved in, he said
Fellas, it's been good t'know ya

Did they eat lunch?  That cook is a real downer.  Like it's not bad enough to be in a cold, scary storm, but for the cook to refuse to feed you supper because of it?  Especially after not serving breakfast? That sucks!  And then at seven p.m., when the main hatchway caved in, I bet everyone was really depressed and scared (and hungry) and that old bastard rubbed it in by saying, "Fellas, it's been good t'know ya."  Way to think positive, Old Cook!

Copy Cat

I went to the movie Unknown with my friend Dana last night, and this is what I have to say to the movie Unknown:  "Hey Unknown, I've seen the Bourne Identity and you, sir, are no Bourne Identity."  Also, Berlin seems to totally suck.  A lot of assassins who have forgotten that they are assassins regretfully remember that they are assassins in Berlin and try to right their wrongs with the help of  young, beautiful down-on-their-luck Eastern European women.  And the weather seems to always be shitty, which seems a little like I'm the pot calling the kettle black, considering my last post, but come on, Berlin, movies are supposed to attract people to the cities they are set in, not repel them.

Also, I've been hearing the Lady Gaga song Born This Way on the radio and I like it a lot.  I also liked it back in 1989 when Madonna sang it and it was called Express Yourself.  But I can't stay annoyed at Lady Gaga. She wore a meat dress.  And meat shoes, and a meat hat and had a meat purse that she made Cher hold for her.  That is just too wonderful.  

Brandi Carlile

I just discovered a new musician that I LOVE!  Actually, she's not new and I am not the one who discovered her, but I heard her for the first time yesterday on Prairie Home Companion (I'm only in my 30s, why do you ask?)  Her name, as you have probably deduced from the title of this post, is Brandi Carlile.  She sang her song The Story on PHP and I was riveted!  That never happens to me!  I like music, sure, but her voice hit me like a ton of bricks.  So I immediately bought the album on iTunes with that song on it and I've been listening to it all day.  It's FANTASTIC!  Check her out on youtube!

The worst song in the world

I was driving in the car with the kids today and a song came on the radio that I had never heard before.  It's called Bedrock by Lil' Wayne and friends.  Lil' Wayne should be embarrassed, and so should all of his former teachers.  And his parents.  He probably should also be embarrassed that he calls himself "Lil' Wayne."   Here are the lyrics in red, and my comments in black.

She got that good, she Michael Jackson bad, Im attracted to her, but her attracted fast.  Huh?

And now we murders because we kill time (that is so stupid) and I cut lights out and she still shine. Aww.. 

I hate to see her go but I love to watch her leave. Get it?

But I keep her running back and forth like a soccer team.  simile.
Cold as a winter day, hot as a summers eve, more similes

Young Money thieves steal ya heart with ease.  What???  Why is money capitalized, and why do money thieves steal my heart?  Isn't their specialty money?

I like the way you walking if you walking my way, Awww...

Im that red bull now lets fly away. Red Bull, like the drink???

Let'z buy a place with all kind of space  yes, let's

i let chu be the judge and and im the case. huh? You want me to judge you?  Okay!

Im Gutta Gutta i put her under I see me with her, no Stevey Wonder.  This is just random words but something about being blind maybe?

She don't even wonder cause she kno she's bad and I got her niggah, grocery bag.  I'm utterly flabbergasted.

Oooh baby I be stuck to you like glue baby. Awwww... (but seriously, I need my space.)
Wanna spend it all on you baby.  Spend all what on me, the glue?
My room is the G spot (get it?), call me Mr. Flinstone cause I can make ya bedrock. GET IT? 

There is soooo much more to this song, lyric-wise, but I can't even bring myself to read it.  I never thought I would get old enough to think "young people's" music was stupid, but here I am, utterly disgusted with a young.... I was going to write musician, but he's clearly not a musician, or a lyricist...  pop star?   

I'm officially old.  

Lil' Dumbass Wayne