Saturday, August 7, 2010

Angelina Jolie, please eat something.

Mitch and I went to see the movie Salt tonight.  It was okay.  It was a little far fetched and the most unbelievable part of the entire movie was that Angelina Jolie is tough and somehow strong.  She is frighteningly thin.  There was one part where she had to pick up and carry a large-ish fire extinguisher and I am shocked she was able to lift it with such ease.  It must have been fake because if it was real, her brittle little twig fingers would have shattered.  It was probably styrofoam.  She had many scenes where she was fighting full-sized, well nutritioned men and she kicked ass every time.  In reality she was probably too weak from hunger to throw two punches in a row.  Those scenes probably took weeks to film.  There was a scene where she was running through some woods in the winter.  She blends in perfectly with the forest.  She's like a bag of sticks with a beautiful head. 

Today I read in a magazine that Jessica Simpson has "ballooned" up to my goal weight.  I suppose she won't be "ideal" until she is Angelina's size.

I typed "Jessica Simpson fat" on Google images and got this picture.  This jpeg is actually titled "fat+Jessica+Simpson" Does she look fat in this picture? Fuck no.  Does she look fat in any of the pictures?  I guess that's a matter of opinion, but if she is fat, what am I?  How long do magazines and movies and fucking TMZ think they can spout this garbage to women and have us eat it up and feel bad about having bodies with naturally twice as many fat cells as men, and getting "wrecked" by pregnancy (as Jillian Michaels says)?  Why aren't there more riots at places like Ford Modeling Agency and any major women's magazine? Why hasn't someone beheaded Anna Wintour and stuck her skinny head on a stake and marched it around?  Because we're women, that's why.  Civilized, polite, self-conscious women.   

Wow.  What a world.  Angelina, please, eat something.  Jessica, you look beautiful at MY GOAL WEIGHT and anyone who says any different is a dumbass woman-hater.


  1. I couldn't have spouted it better myself... I can't tell you how many times I've cringed when I've heard my 14-year-old say things like, "I NEED to lose 25 pounds!!! I won't be happy until I'm 109!!! ALL MY FRIENDS ARE 109!!!" Or sitting at Plato's Closet while she tries on jeans, and trying to gently explain to her that "sizing for jeans is crap" so she'll actually let me buy her a pair that fits, rather than a size 3, which only fits one half of one of her legs." The last time we left Plato's Closet she was actually CRYING, because the sizes on her tags didn't match what size she thinks she should be able to fit into. This is MORTIFYING to me.

    I am on a diet every day of my life, and I hate it - it SUCKS the Big Suck. I still have 35 "post-pregnancy" pounds to lose, and my "baby" turns TWO this month!!! (In other words, I need to stop calling them "post-pregnancy" pounds, because really, it's just excess flab that I still feed with pasta and ice cream.)

    I've had success with the "extreme-low-carb" thing, and the "count every single calorie" thing, and even the "Slim Fast" thing. It doesn't change the fact that I simply LIKE FOOD. It always makes me wonder whether Angelina J. or Renee Zelwegger or Kate Bosworth or Tori Spelling or the Olsen twins don't LIKE food, or whether they are just so terrified that their careers are going to disappear if they break 100 pounds that they knowingly starve themselves. After all, when they're TOO thin, this also gets them on the covers of magazines. I envision conversations with agents and managers that go like this: "We need to get you visible again; we need an anorexia scare..."

    Disgusting. Pathetic. Mind-numblingly SAD.
    They all look like Auschwitz victims to me.

  2. God,'re preaching to the choir..

    Now,I'll say before I rant that being as "morbidly obese" as I am isn't the best way to live. yep, I said it...MO is what I've been my entire life. I've lost my body weight over the last 25 years of my life because I thought I NEEDED to in order to 1) be happy 2) have a boyfriend/husband 3)have friends 4) wear nice clothes 5) have a good job....etc...etc...I could go on and on..My size hasn't really fluctuated much over the last 15 years or so, and funny...I've gotten ALL OF THOSE THINGS...AND I'M WAYYYY FAT!

    I was on the Tyra Banks show a few years ago and I basically said that the modeling industry isn't doing the female American public any favors. I had my own modeling site(online) at the time, and was getting heckled by some anorexic(yes, she was anorexic) in the audience who said I was "disgusting and unhealthy and no one should even look at me". I told her that "if you think that everyone should look like YOU, you are perpetuating an eating disorder". I also went on to say that there are MILLIONS of young girls, as young as 8 or 9 that look in the mirror and lament about "how chubby thier cheeks are, how short they are, how they need to lose weight", and its just not right! Again, not saying that being my size is how you should live, it doesn't work for everyone, but it all starts from inside of YOU, and how you view yourself.

    Kristen, good for you on trying to help your daughter see that she is healthy and normal. The clothing industry isn't helping either. When we were growing up, did they even HAVE a size 0????? Nope...its too messed up these days and it makes me sad.

    Be you, Be happy and healthy and really, thats all you need to do! I aspire to be like NO ONE....I only aspire to be the best ME I can be.

  3. Angelina must be exhausted by the end of the day...having to hold that gigantic head up on her toothpick of a neck.

    But she's got it all, right? She's super thin, super rich, her BF is Brad Pitt, world embassador...

    My girl Jess is "fat", divorced, gets dumped by every guy she dates and has it splashed across every tabloid, has to use Proactive, doesn't know the difference between tuna and chicken...

    Skinny good. Fat bad.

    It's so crazy...I remember my mother always being on a diet and I think that has affected me because now that I'm an adult I'm always thinking that I need to lose weight. I also remember being 118 pounds and feeling fat. Oh man...stupid girl. Reading Kristin's post really makes me worry for what I might go thru with my daughter in the teen years.

    My husband's weird family is notorious for "I just forget to eat". (They're all the size of a Hobbit) WHAT? I just can't wrap my head around that...I miss a meal by 15 minutes and my blood sugar drops to a level that causes me to halucinate.

    Oh Sarah, great post and I feel your pain.

  4. On Oprah, Jessica said she was a size 2!!! If a size 2 is overweight then I need a flag driver...

  5. You guys are so great! I was venting last night when I wrote that, and I didn't know how it would be received, and if we smart, funny ladies feel this way, why oh why is skinny so valuable STILL?

    What makes me sad is that the skinnier a woman is (Angelina, I'm talking to you), the more attractive she is and I think it's because she seems weaker. Keep the women weak and worried about how they look every second of the day, and then nobody has to worry about equal pay for equal work. And while you're at it, make it high fashion for a woman to walk around on tiny, dangerously high mini-stilts. Pretty and weak.

    You are absolutely right, Miss, you have it all without an Angelina body and that is so great! You are a role-model, sista! (And BTW, Tyra Banks??? That is so interesting! Mitch and I watch her show sometimes just to hear the crazy shit that comes out of her mouth. How was it?)

    Kristin, I felt so sad when I read that Lauren, that beautiful, talented, poised girl I met the other day cries over jeans sizes. That is heartbreaking.

    Okay, I have to go exfoliate, colon cleanse and exercise until I puke.

    (just kidding!)

  6. I know. Women look better when they got a little J-Lo going me, for instance...

    no numb ass from sitting on bones here.


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