Saturday, August 7, 2010
Angelina Jolie, please eat something.
Mitch and I went to see the movie Salt tonight. It was okay. It was a little far fetched and the most unbelievable part of the entire movie was that Angelina Jolie is tough and somehow strong. She is frighteningly thin. There was one part where she had to pick up and carry a large-ish fire extinguisher and I am shocked she was able to lift it with such ease. It must have been fake because if it was real, her brittle little twig fingers would have shattered. It was probably styrofoam. She had many scenes where she was fighting full-sized, well nutritioned men and she kicked ass every time. In reality she was probably too weak from hunger to throw two punches in a row. Those scenes probably took weeks to film. There was a scene where she was running through some woods in the winter. She blends in perfectly with the forest. She's like a bag of sticks with a beautiful head.
Today I read in a magazine that Jessica Simpson has "ballooned" up to my goal weight. I suppose she won't be "ideal" until she is Angelina's size.
I typed "Jessica Simpson fat" on Google images and got this picture. This jpeg is actually titled "fat+Jessica+Simpson" Does she look fat in this picture? Fuck no. Does she look fat in any of the pictures? I guess that's a matter of opinion, but if she is fat, what am I? How long do magazines and movies and fucking TMZ think they can spout this garbage to women and have us eat it up and feel bad about having bodies with naturally twice as many fat cells as men, and getting "wrecked" by pregnancy (as Jillian Michaels says)? Why aren't there more riots at places like Ford Modeling Agency and any major women's magazine? Why hasn't someone beheaded Anna Wintour and stuck her skinny head on a stake and marched it around? Because we're women, that's why. Civilized, polite, self-conscious women.
Wow. What a world. Angelina, please, eat something. Jessica, you look beautiful at MY GOAL WEIGHT and anyone who says any different is a dumbass woman-hater.