Something funny happened last week but I forgot to take the picture that would go with the story, so I'll just have to tell you what happened. I went to Des Moines to visit my aunt. Shortly after we arrived, I noticed on her bare feet that only the first two toes on each foot had toe-nail polish on them. When asked about it she told me that she had a dressy function to go to an had some open-toed shoes to go with her outfit and she couldn't really be bothered to paint ALL TEN toes (who has the time???), so she only painted the toes that showed. She said it was like a toe-nail polish dickie. You know, dickies? Partial shirts? Like this:
To wear when you can't be bothered to wear a whole shirt under another shirt. (Hopefully under another shirt.) Shoving your arms into one set of sleeves is enough, thankyouverymuch! The whole world thinks you are wearing a whole green turtleneck under that sweater but you know the truth and it makes you feel kind of naughty.
When I was looking up pictures of dickies on google images there were a lot of pictures of old guys who I can only assume are named Dickie. I also saw this:
And I immediately thought "Hey, that's not a dickie," and then I thought it was some kind of contest where you could win a free dickie (the partial shirt variety), but then I saw the picture of the guy and I thought his name must be Dickie and you can have him because he's free and nobody else wants him. Then it occurred to me that maybe Dickie the guy is confined somehow and needs freeing. Poor Dickie. I hope he got free.
That got me thinking about other misunderstandings I've had recently. While in Des Moines I watched that old show News Radio from the nineties. (It's funny. It really held up.) and the Dave character says something about the Joe character having "Roid Rage" and I immediately sat up and paid attention because I have always thought that "roid rage" referred to hemorrhoids and I thought I missed some important plot point in the show where Joe's hemorrhoids were introduced. But you know what? It doesn't mean hemorrhoids. It means steroids. I know because I watched carefully after that and there were references to Joe's muscliness but no references to his hemorrhoids. It seems obvious to me now. But I always assumed that people with hemorrhoids are angry about having hemorrhoids (obviously) - hence "roid rage." I wonder how many times while I was pregnant I complained about my own personal case of "roid rage"? And I wonder why nobody told me that steroids during pregnancy isn't exactly safe? Thanks for nothing, friends, family and acquaintances!