Parkour, Celebs, Day-drinking, and Three-hole potties: My trip to DC

I'm in a dumb phase lately.  I can hardly think a coherent thought.  Tonight I sat next to a man I work with every single day and I could not for the life of me remember his name.  Then I had to get money from the ATM and I couldn't remember my pin number.  Jesus, what is happening to me?  And the dumbest thing I've done is totally forgetting to write about my trip to DC with my sisters!!!

We went for a long weekend because Amy was going to run in the Marine Marathon, but she got a deferment for a year because she didn't exactly train in any way whatsoever.  Oh well, we decided to go to DC anyway and it was FUN.

The first night we checked into our hotel and got settled, then went for a walk.  Our hotel was right downtown, kind of by the white house, so we walked down there to see it.  It was lit up pink for breast cancer month.

Then we were walking around and Beth was talking about how she is really into Parkour lately.  You know, Parkour?  Like this:

Amy and I didn't quite believe her and told her to prove it.  She took on the challenge and jumped off a one foot step, and then leap-frogged this barrier-thing which would have been really cool if she didn't stub her crotch and fall down.  If the barrier was three inches shorter, it might have been impressive.  So then I tried to jump over a fire-hydrant but forgot I was wearing a skort and almost killed myself.  We are lucky we came back from Washington with all our teeth.  Here's Amy Parkouring her ass all over the place.

The next day Amy and I went for a run.  No, you shut up.  I can run!  We ran for about 23 miles all over the Mall area.

 Amy says it absolutely was not 23 miles but I don't know how she knows it wasn't because we didn't map it out or anything. It was probably pretty close to 23.  

We went to the Holocaust Museum.  Depressing.  They have a gift shop in the lobby so you can shop for key chains and coffee mugs that say "We Shall Never Forget" all over it.  There was even a little stuffed bear in a trench coat who was wearing a little tag that said, "I'm a refugee."  It was a bit much.  Amy thinks that a bar would do better business than a gift shop because after going through and seeing all the horrors that was the Holocaust, a person really needs a good stiff drink.

So then we went to have a good stiff drink, which leads me to the day-drinking portion of our trip.  We did a lot of that.  That's what vacations are for, right?  At one bar we sat next to a guy that told us that Chris Brown of beating-the-shit-out-of-Rhianna fame was arrested at the W Hotel right across the street from us. Turned out to be true.  Some guy photo-bombed a picture Brown was in so he ran after the guy and mercilessly beat him.  Seems like an appropriate response.  We also went to the W Hotel (fancy schmancy) to have a drink in the bar that is on the roof.  It was nice but every table had a reserved sign on it and nobody came to sit at them.  I got a free beer.

Saturday we went to MOUNT VERNON!  We took a boat from DC up the Potomac to the estate.

Amy and Kristen on the boat to Mount Vernon.  They can
barely contain their excitement.

 Unfortunately we only got four hours to tour the place.  I thought it was kind of a rush, but nobody else did.  You can see barely anything in four hours.  We hit the high points:  The house, museum, tomb, wharf-area.

This guy took us through a hay-bale maze.  What's the point of a hay-bale maze, you ask?  I don't know.  You can see right over it and figure out your path.  Easy.  This guy said to shut our eyes and go through conga style.  It was weird.

Then I saw one of my favorite Mount Vernon attractions:

The three-hole outhouse.  Amy asked me once if I could meet George Washington and talk to him, but only if we were both using the three-hole outhouse, would I do it?  Probably.

The next day was the marathon so we went to watch the runners.  It was a beautiful day and it was fun to watch the marathon.  The people at the front of the pack run fast the whole time.  I mean FAST.  It's not a sprint, j'all!

We met some cool people while we were there.  We saw Senator Franken at the airport and said hello to him.  We met a retired Capitol Police guy at a diner one morning and got him talking about senators who are all bluster in public and who cry in the elevator at the end of the day.  And we met Carlos Arredondo, an activist who helped save people after the Boston bombing.  I recognized him from a picture and we talked with him for a while.  He is a fantastically nice person.  I was really happy we got to meet him and I got to take a picture with him and an ice-cream sandwich.

The last day we were there we walked around for miles and miles and miles.  We went to the Smithsonian Portrait Gallery too.

Amy took this picture of me nerding it up in front of a statue of George Washington surrendering his commission after the Revolutionary War.  He was dreamy.

I also got this really cool photo of the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial.  Nobody was there right then because the marathon was going on and everyone was cheering on the runners.

But before I got that good picture, I got this one:

This lady literally ran into the frame at the last second.  I wish I knew who she was so I could send her the picture.  

Y is for Yikes, I got some major blisters on my feet

When I was in Washington this last week I did a LOT of walking.  In my everyday life I don't do a lot of walking around.  Everywhere I go is a drive-to place so walking isn't exactly a means of transportation around here.  But cities, on the other hand, require a lot of walking, which I love.  I like the idea of walking to a train station, taking the train to somewhere in the approximate area of where you want to be and then hoofing it the rest of the way.  I think walking around is the best way to get a feel for a place.  When my sisters and I were in New York I insisted we walk from Battery Park to our hotel in Midtown.  It was a long walk, but we saw a LOT of stuff that way.  I went on a bus tour of the monuments the first time I went to Washington and it was cool and everything, but I didn't know where things were in relation to each other.  So since then, I've walked wherever I want to go when I'm there.

The only down side to walking miles and miles is that my poor feet aren't used to it.  I think my shoes must not fit right because I got two enormous, excruciating blisters on the back/bottom of my heels.  If you've ever had a cracked heel, it's like that but worse.  Deeper somehow.

I knew that during my visit Saturday was probably the only day that wouldn't be raining, so I wanted to do all my outside sight seeing that day.  I took the metro to the Mall and spent about six hours looking at the following things:

The Sculpture Garden

The National Archives.  I went in to look at the Constitution again, but there was a HUGE line, so I looked at the Magna Carta and skipped the rotunda.

Washington Monument

The Martin Luther King Jr. memorial which was amazing because to get to it, you have to go through a path made through a big boulder:

and it says this on the side of the King sculpture:

The part part of the rock that is missing from the path is the part that MLK is on, and it's moved ahead of the main boulder, forging a path.  Amazing.  

Then I walked around the Tidal Pool and made friends with this duck.  He probably just followed me because I look like the kind of person that has some food on her, but I choose to believe he really liked me.

Jefferson Monument

George Mason memorial.  Father of the Bill of Rights.  He was part of the Constitutional Convention but he refused to sign it because it didn't include a bill of rights.  He was neighbors with George Washington.

I walked past the Bureau of Engraving and Printing but didn't go in because they aren't open on Saturdays.  Otherwise I would be able to go in and take a tour and make some of my own money as a souvenir.

I walked by the Holocaust Museum, but didn't go in that day.  I went in a few days later.  Totally depressing.

I saw this guy playing bucket drums on the boulevard.  I heard him from a long way away and I would have never in a million years guessed that someone could make buckets sound like that.

I stopped at the American History Museum to look at George Washington's uniform and the Zeus statue one more time, and then I had a little lunch before going to the portrait gallery.

I saw this picture of Bill Clinton.  It's huge and is made of little squares with colored shapes inside of them.  When you step back, voila: Bill Clinton.

I also saw this crazy horse made from bottle caps. I love his teeth.
Lol, you silly horse.

Then I headed back to Amy's because my feet hurt.  I think I probably covered about 15 miles.  That's the day I got the blisters and they got worse and festered by the last day.  Ouchie.

The next day I went to the National Cathedral which involved a mile and a half walk from the nearest Metro station, uphill, in the rain, with my blisters.  When I got there I took my camera out to take pictures of the amazing gargoyles and stained glass windows and discovered I forgot my camera battery that I so thoughtfully and responsibly took out to charge the night before.  Crap. It was such a cool place, it was worth the rain, blisters, uphilliness, and lack of camera battery.

Oh, one more thing: Why doesn't John Adams have a monument in Washington?  He's one of the big three founders of our country and he doesn't even have anything.  That blows.

W is for Walrus

Amy and I started our road trip from Washington D.C. to Minnesota.  We drove for about 13 hours today and have about 9 or 10 hours left for tomorrow.  It wasn't so bad.  We went through Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and now we are in Janesville Wisconsin.  So I guess W could be for Wisconsin.  Or Washington.  Or "What a day!" but when I was writing the title Walrus was all I could think of.

Sam and Kira texted us before and after school.  That was fun.  I told Kira this morning, "The 495 is like a parking lot!" and she said, "I don't know what that means." And I said, "Major traffic" and she said "What's the 494?" and I said, "It's the road," and she said, "Oh.  I get it now."  I guess that joke is wasted on 12 year olds who don't drive or know that freeways are numbered.  Later Sam asked where we were and I said, "Toledo" and he said, "Ha ha.  Really funny.  Where are you really?"  And I said, "Toledo!" and he said, "Toledo, yeah right.  You just made 'Toledo' up."  My son: Geography whiz.  And then I texted Mitch and said, "We are in Chicago.  We are going to go clubbing and get some authentic Chicago 'sausage.'" and he said, "Good luck."  He is so supportive of me.

Now we are in a Motel 6 on the ground floor and it has has two beds, toilet paper and a door; but what it boasts in amenities, it lacks in pillow thickness, but I'm so tired, I won't even notice because I'm sure when my head hits the pillow I will fall asleep and stay asleep until the serial killer that will inevitably come to the truck stop across the parking lot smashes the window and tries to murder us.  Amy is sleeping by the window though, so, you know, I might have a chance.

p.s.  I spent the entire day at Mount Vernon yesterday and it was glorious.  I will tell you all about it tomorrow.  

U is for Umbrella which we needed because it was raining today

Today (Monday) Amy and I went to the Capitol and had our wonderful Senate breakfast.  We had to get up in the middle of the night (5:30) to get there on time.  We were going to meet Amy's friend Jeff who is a staffer for Jeff Sessions. We got to the door we were supposed to go in and there was a sign there that said, "The following items are prohibited:  (the obvious things like weapons and bombs), and cell phones, anything with batteries.  What???  So we were wondering if we had to hand them over or something, but we didn't.  Nobody said anything about them when we went through security.  We met Jeff and some other friends and went in the dining room.  Unfortunately there were not a lot of fat cats having breakfast with us, but it was still a great experience.  I had "Senate Eggs," in case you were wondering.

After that Jeff gave us a little tour of the Capitol.  He said that all staffers have to take a tour guide course when they start.  He showed us the rotunda (finally!) and it's a lot smaller than I thought it would be.  I got to see the painting at the top of the dome with my own two eyes.  It was great.  Then he showed us the crypt and someone asked him a question and he said, "I don't know, google it," and Amy said "I bet they didn't tell you to do that in tour guide school."  Then he brought us on the tiny little subway that goes under the Capitol and the congressional office buildings.  Jeff had to go to work so then Amy and I went to Al Franken's office and signed the guest book and chatted up the receptionist for a while.  

Then we went to the Pentagon so Amy could check in at work and look at her email.  I met some more people who said that they look at my blog.  Wow! (Hi Kristin!  Hi Gene!  Hi Matt!  Hi Bill!)  Thank you, Amy for forcing all your co-workers to read my blog. We also went to the pentagon Starbucks which Kristin wasn't thrilled about because the last time she went there she got oatmeal that she suspects gave her food poisoning so bad she had to go to the hospital.

Then Amy and I went to the Holocaust Museum.  We weren't sure if we were going to get to go today because on the news this morning we heard that the president was going to be making a speech from there this morning so we thought maybe we wouldn't even be able to get close to the place.  He was done by noon so we got to go.  I made a total fool of myself when we were going through security.  I was kind of excited that the president was there earlier, so I thought I'd chat up the security guard about it as we were going through.  He was very unenthusiastically telling everyone "Please leave your cell phones and cameras in your bags, set your bags on the belt and go through the metal detector," and I was so busy asking him questions about the president: "Did you see the president?" (no), "Weren't you excited?" (no) "Isn't it exciting!?" (just put your bag on the belt), that I wasn't listening to him and I took my camera and phone out of my bag and he said, "LEAVE your electronics IN your bag," and I said, "Ohhhhhh..." so I put them back in and put my purse on the belt but the strap was wrapped around my scarf and it started pulling me into the belt and finally Mr. Grumpy laughed a little and said, "Hey, we don't want any accidents here."  It was funny.

The Holocaust museum: Total downer.

Then we came home.

Other things I've seen on this trip to Washington:
1. National Archives
2. Washington Monument
3. Sculpture Garden
4. Martin Luther King Memorial
5. FDR Memorial
6. Walked around the tidal pool.
7. Jefferson Monument
8. American History Museum
9. American Art/Portrait gallery
10. The movie 21 Jump Street
11. Amy's party
12.  Amy arguing with her friend Marcel
13.  National Cathedral
14. The Capitals (hockey team) lose in over-time at a bar with Amy who wanted to go to the actual game but nobody wanted to spend hundreds of dollars on a ticket to go with her.  Every time the Caps made a goal Amy said, "I wish I was there!" and then every time the Bruins made a goal she said, "I'm glad I'm not there."  She is a fair-weather fan to a schizophrenic degree.

I did not get to the National Zoo which I kind of wanted to do, but I did see a rat on the tracks of the subway while I was waiting for a train!  That was exciting!  Almost as good as the zoo.  Better than stupid pandas anyway.  I wasn't really looking but then this kid said, "HEY DAD! THERE'S A RAT!" so I ran up to look and I saw it.  The dad said, "Yeah yeah, stop yelling, get away from the edge," (of the platform).  But the kid didn't get away from the edge.  He kept looking and apparently developed an eye for rat-spotting and spotted about three more before his train came.  So therefore:

15. A subway rat.


Tomorrow I am going to Mount Vernon.  I might not come back.

R is for Rickets! (that has nothing to do with the post, but it's the first R thing that came into my head. I'm losing it on this A-Z thing.)

I'm going to Washington D.C. today to visit my sister for the last time before she goes to prison.  Just kidding.  She's not going to prison.  She's moving to Norfolk for training for when she goes to Afghanistan.  She's in the U.S.O.  She's a tap dancer.  She's going to Afghanistan to tap dance for the troops.  Just kidding again.  She doesn't know how to tap dance.  I don't think.  (Amy, do you know how to tap dance?)  She isn't in the U.S.O. either.  But she is in the Navy so OF COURSE she is going to landlocked Afghanistan.  (raarrrr)

Anyway, I have to go get one more Mount Vernon fix before she moves.  We were planning to take a river cruise to the estate because that would be cool.  Amy looked into it and she said, "The boat will bring us there and then it doesn't leave again for three hours..." thinking, whoa, three hours is PLENTY of time to see Mount Vernon for the fourth time in two years.  And I said, "Nope.  That won't work.  It's going to take us WAY longer than three hours!" Ha ha! what was she thinking?  I bet she is dreading it.  But there is so much to see!  I want to go through the house again, go through the educational center, look at every single thing in the museum, walk all over the grounds, see all the little animals and buy more mints in adorable little tin boxes from the gift shop and so on and so on and so on.  I'm thinking we'll be there for eight?, maybe nine? hours?  Sound good Amy?!

We are also going to see the Holocaust museum. Par-TAY!

Then we are going to drive home together, bonding like crazy and holding hands the whole way.  

::INTERRUPTION OF THE A TO Z CONTEST::

I am interrupting this A to Z blogging contest to bring you a special news update:  I am going to Washington to visit Amy tomorrow.  Today she casually emailed me, "Would you like to have breakfast in the senate dining room on Monday?"  What?  Yes!  I couldn't even get in the Capitol last time I was there.  I stood in line for a while, and then got my bag searched and got scolded for having a granola bar, and then I was only allowed to go in the basement/peon level. I wanted to see the rotunda!  I asked one of the workers how I could get up to see the rotunda and he said, "You can't now.  You can see an exact replica over there," and he pointed to a Barbie sized replica of the Capitol.  No.  That's not what I threw away a perfectly good granola bar and an unopened can of Diet Coke to see.  That really chapped my hide.

Well, on Monday I get to be like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she goes back to the bitchy sales ladies in the fancy store who wouldn't wait on her and shows them what's what.  I will be eating toaster waffles and pop tarts with the bigtime movers and shakers.  I will see the f'ing rotunda.  And I get to go in the super private special entrance with no line.  So take that, guard-who-looked-at-me-like-I-was-a-mental-defective-because-I-tried-to-bring-a-granola-bar-into-the-Capitol.

Amy said that it is dress-up so I have to pack accordingly, but of course, I am second guessing my dress-up choices.  I don't know if it will be dress-up enough.  We Minnesotans are pretty casual, and I don't want to look like a dope.  I've decided not to take any chances of being too casual.  I'm just going to wear my prom dress.  Get ready senators!

Russian Samovar

I have a couple of stories for you from my sister's vacation.  We had tickets to see Wicked at the Gershwin theater for Tuesday night, so before the show we planned on eating at Russian Samovar.  I chose that restaurant because when I looked up "good placed to eat in Midtown" when I was planning our itinerary, that name kept popping up.  I'm not much of a fan of Russian anything, but that restaurant kept getting rave reviews, so I thought we should check it out.  When we walked in I didn't think we were in the right place.  It looked like a bit of a dive.  What caught my eye was the light fixtures with wires hanging out all over the place.


Here's a picture of Amy and you can see the light fixtures, but you can't really see the wires.  Oh well, believe me, it was a bit weird. 

We decided to be totally Russian and drink vodka and eat caviar.  The waitress who was an adorable Russian girl with a thick accent brought us a list of flavor infused vodkas so we ordered some. 

The first one I got was lemon and it was pretty good.  Next I ordered a chocolate one and the waitress looked me square in the eye and said, "No."  I said, "Pardon?" and she said, "No. Is no good."  So I told her to get me a good one.  She brought me pear.  It was good.  We ordered our caviar:

See, it's served with little pancakes and onion and boiled egg and sour cream.  It was surprisingly delicious.  A bit fishy but guess what?  It's FISH EGGS!  I ate fish babies and they were delicious.

"Thank you ma'am, your babies were delicious."

Sometimes I feel bad about eating meat because I've seen footage on factory farms and how meat is processed and it is so barbaric and gross I can hardly stand it, but I don't think I will ever think of fish as an animal.  When we go to the Great Lakes Aquarium and see all those fat salmon swimming around it just makes me ravenous. 

Anyway, we had a wonderful time there drinking vodka, and eating appetizers and desserts (cheesecake and little tiny doughnuts with a raspberry sauce that was so good you could have eaten it with a spoon).  We loved our waitress and so we were trying to figure out how to say thank you in Russian and when I looked it up on my translator on my phone, this is what came up:  Спасибо.  I was looking at it for a few seconds and my sisters said, "What does it say?" and I said, "I don't know.  I don't know how to pronounce 'six'," but we figured it out and thanked her in Russian like the dorky tourists we are. 

Because we are middle aged and have to pee every 20 minutes, we asked our adorable waitress where the bathroom was.  She pointed us through these heavy velvet curtains to a staircase and said, "Up there," so we went upstairs to the exact room where Mikael Barishnikov took Carrie on their date on Sex In The City.  It was totally empty until a tough-looking man came shooting out of a back room, looked us over and said, "You must go downstairs."  We told him we were looking for the bathroom and he said, "Downstairs" and herded us to the staircase.  We decided to hold it.  When we were walking to the theater Beth said that the waitress probably sends women who she thinks would be good for selling into white slavery up the steps (aww, thanks!) but the guy got one look at us and thought to himself, "No.  Too old.  Too fat.  Couldn't make the profit margins," so he shooed us away.  Rejection!  We couldn't make a profit as sex slaves. Oh well, one less thing to worry about, I guess. Which reminds me of one more quick story from the trip:  One day we were walking around downtown Washington and there was a guy playing a banjo at an outdoor produce market.  He was just playing, not singing.  He was pretty good until I walked past him and he started singing "Where have all the young girls gone...hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm hmmmmm...." to the tune of Where Have All the Flowers Gone.  Hey Banjo Guy, you are no spring chicken either so SHUT IT. 



Corn Husk Lady

When my sisters and I went to Mount Vernon last Saturday, it happened to be Family Fall Festival Fun Day, or something like that.  That meant that it was rather crowded with people with little kids which was obnoxious.  Not because I mind little kids.  What annoys me are the super parents who are obviously making up for something by being WONDERFUL PARENTS in public in the loudest fashion they can manage.  After we parked the car and were walking to the property, we were sort of in a crowd of people walking the same way, and one of the people was a little girl named Zoe, although I'm almost positive her parents spell it with umlauts, but since I don't know how to make umlauts on the computer, I'll just settle for writing it the pedestrian way, Zoe.  I know Zoe was in the crowd with us not because Zoe was being naughty, or running into the street or anything, I knew her name was Zoe because her dad was being SUPER! and kept saying her name. "Having fun yet, Zoe!" "Zoe, let's race!" "Zoe, hop on my back and I'll run and make really loud plane noises in a fun way that's really irritating to anyone within twenty yards."

Before we even got in the doors my sisters and I gave each other conspiratorial looks that said, "First thing: Ditch Zoe."  Which we did.  It was a gorgeous day to be at Mount Vernon, (but then again, there isn't a bad day at Mount Vernon), so we walked all over the property and saw the gardens and there was a special festival down by the threshing barn and there was a George Washington impersonator talking about the revolutionary war.  He was very compelling, but didn't look like Washington.  He looked like Henry Winkler. (I wonder if it was Henry Winkler? OMG!)

In one of the barns people in old-timey clothes were helping people make corn husk ladies.  Amy and Beth and I made some.  Amy's was perfect.  (I think she makes them in her free time.)  Beth's was weird.  It had a tiny pin head and three arms.  How do you even get three arms?  Mine was okay but only because I re-did it about four times until I was satisfied.  I love her with her crazy hairdo and her nutso face.

I took her with me everywhere.  Here she is in front of the Washington Monument.

Here she is peeking over a wall at the WWII Memorial.

Here she is with the Empire State Building.

And her she is spying on Amy over the bathroom stall.  Oh Corn Husk Lady, you're so silly!

Continuation of my "Gift"

Directions from the sisters on this self-portrait as we were standing in line waiting to get into the Mount Vernon Mansion: "Let's look up (to minimize double chins) and off into the distance (to look contemplative and beautiful and deep)."  Needless to say, it didn't work out!  Son of a bitch!  I don't look contemplative and beautiful!  I look like a dork.  I actually look like I'm honking.  Amy didn't do much better.  She looks crazy.  Beth looks okay, but she didn't follow directions.  Notice the guy behind us giving us the rabbit ears.  If this would have actually turned out to be the only good picture of me in the history of the world, I would have punched him in the guts for ruining it.

Take two:  Not much better.  Amy is still laughing hysterically about take one, I don't know what I was doing.  What is wrong with me?  Beth is actually following directions and does look contemplative and deep.  Good job, Beth.  Connnnnnnngggggggrrrraaaatttuuuuuullllaaaaattttiiiooooooonnnnnnsssssssssssss.

First Impressions of NYC

My sisters and I took a quick trip to New York on our sister's vacation.  I have never been to New York before so I was very interested to see what it is really like.  I found it to be very complex and dichotomous.  For instance, the women there are slim and trim and stylish and I'm not.  So I felt like a butterball rube, but at the same time EVERYTHING is so BIG in New York that I felt insignificant and teeny.  So, a teeny butterball rube.  Not the best feeling, but whatev. 

Another thing I noticed was about the cleanliness.  As we were walking the streets of Manhattan we saw people obsessively sweeping, hosing down, and even vacuuming the sidewalk, but take another few steps and you can get caught in a cigarette-butt tornado.  Which was super gross.  Beth got caught in the middle of one and she was trying to run out of it and was waving her arms and spitting.  She said she had grit in her mouth after that for a long time.  Gross.  Important: when you get caught in a cigarette-butt tornado KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.   Also, do you ever notice on shows set in NYC how "gritty" things look?  Like smudges on doors and just general dirtiness that you don't see around where you live?  It's really like that.  It's an amazing place but it's like the general housekeeping of the entire city is the responsiblilty of an apathetic octogenarian with poor eyesight and a bad back.  I don't think anything below hip level has been wiped down in the entire city in at least a decade. 

We went to a few restaurants while we were there and the food is GLORIOUSLY good.  One night we went to Russian Samovar and had real Russian vodka and caviar.  It was so good.  I've never had hard liquor that didn't make me cough and spit but this vodka was actually smoooooooth.  And who knew caviar would be good?  It was served on little pancakes with sour cream, red onions and boiled egg.  Of course, rabbit turds would probably also be good on pancakes with sour cream.  Later we went to a place called Sosa Borello.  We had some appetizers that were heavenly.  In the morning we went to the New Cosmic Cafe for breakfast.  Fabulous.  New Yorkers know how to eat. 

We also saw the Occupy Wall Street protester camp in Zucotti park.  Zucotti park is REALLY small.  I was fired up by the whole thing and was ready to start marching and carrying a sign, but Amy said she wanted to run through the camp and bang on tents and yell "GET A JOB, SLACKERS!"  She didn't do it. 

I have to stop now because I have to catch my plane to go home, but more later on this, Washington, the Sisters, Mount Vernon etc etc.  BYE!

Embracing My Gift

Amy and Beth and I went to Mount Vernon yesterday to bask in all that is George Washington.  Since this is a sister's vacation, it is important to capture the many moments on film (well, not really film, but you know, pictures).  Unfortunately for me; not, apparently, for my sisters; I am the most unphotogenic person on the entire planet.  I think I've taken about three good pictures in my entire life.  I don't know what happens to me.  I don't know if it is because I feel self-concious because I know a camera is pointed at me which causes me to make weird faces, or if I actually am hideously ugly on a split-second by split second basis, but seriously, those of you who have only seen pictures of me on this blog, I am sooooooo much cuter in real life than I am in any picture you will ever see. 

I've decided to embrace this unusual gift and see just how bad I can look in pictures.  My sisters wanted to take a bunch of cutesy pictures of the three of us, but I know I can't do it.  When I try, they look at the picture just taken and say things like, "... What were you doing...with your face?"  Well, I'm done trying to look adorable.  It's not going to happen.  So now I'm going to see just how bad I can look.  I am shockingly good at this. 

This is the first picture that this occured to me.  Amy wanted to take a picture of me in front of a model of George Washington's house.  In a split second this is what went through my mind:  "Oh great, I'm going to look like a moron.  No, I'm going to look like a huge moron because I'm in front of this tiny house.   Like Godzilla.  No, furrier, like King Kong.  Screw it."  And that is when I decided that if I'm going to look like King Kong anyway, I might as well not look like King Kong trying to be cute because that's pathetic, I might as well just look like King Kong doing what he does best.  I think the picture is pretty good.

Then Amy and Beth decided they want to get a cute picture of the three of us together.  It's not going to happen.  It wouldn't happen anyway, even if I tried so now I'm just seeing how bad I can make myself look.  Turns out it's pretty bad.

In my defense, they don't look that great in this picture either. 

This one might have been okay if I could take a good picture.  But I can't.  But boy can I take a bad picture!

More to come!  Much much much more!

Washington DC: Through Kira's Lens

We are back from Washington!  The trip home was smooth and uneventful, thank goodness.  Last night I uploaded all of our pictures onto the computer and Kira took the most by far, 382 pictures in 8 days.  Basically, she took a picture of everything she looked at.  Here are the highlights:

Amy's dog

Something she wants to try

Auntie drinking a beer

pigeon

She took eight pictures of this thing.  I don't know what it is.  Either does she.  

pigeon

The day she learned to tie a cherry stem with her tongue, and the best dessert EVER.

random bird

Snake bones

Cardinal

pigeon that appears to have pooped out a cigarette butt.

Some cute lambs at Mount Vernon

She really liked this display at the Navy museum.  There were a series of dioramas showing how diving has evolved through the years.  This one is from the 1500s.  The diver wore a leather hood sealed to his suit with some kind of fat or sap or something, and there was a long leather hose going to the surface.  It didn't work because there was no air pump and no eye holes so the diver couldn't see or breathe.  Kira liked that.  There was another diorama of a tiny naked guy with a glass bulb over his head.  Kira looked at it and then looked at me to see if I noticed his tiny weiner.  The look on her face was priceless.  I should have taken a picture of that.  

Duck

She managed to make this extremely creepy doll all the more creepy in this picture.

pigeon bending a stick

Nerdy tourists

Amy's dog

pigeon

Donatello

random bird


  Thank goodness for digital cameras!