Tuesday, May 6, 2014

My Horse Self

TWO YEARS ago, I wrote this post about how Mitch verbally abuses me.  He still brings up the fact that if I was a horse, I would in NO WAY be the horse in the picture I used for the post.  He says I really must think I'm something if I think I would look like that as a horse, because that horse is magnificent.

this horse

Honestly, I just Googled a picture of a brown horse and picked that one because it looked nice.  I didn't really think that I would look like that as a horse because who thinks that?  Who thinks, "I wonder what I would look like if I were a horse?" and then searches for pictures of horses who they think they would look like?  Not me.  I mean, I know if I were a horse, I'd be a brown horse, but that's about it.  I suppose I subconsciously chose a brown horse because I think I'd be a brown horse if I were a horse.  So why wouldn't I choose a magnificent horse???

The other day when Mitch brought it up again ("Remember when you posted that picture of a horse on your blog? I can't believe you think you would look like that if you were a horse,") I gave in and asked him what kind of horse I would be if I were a horse.  He thought about it for a few seconds and then said, "You'd be a pony."  I thought awww sweet, he thinks I'm cute and good with children!  Then he added, "They live forever and are mean the whole time."   Then he said, "Just kidding!" and said I'd be a fjord horse "because they are so friendly." Here's a fjord horse.

WTF, Mitch?
I was instructed that the friendliness was where the comparison ended, and not to focus on the short stumpy legs and thick body.  He was starting to get in pretty deep.

Last night my friend Ann, who has a pony and a horse, posted this great picture on Facebook:

I showed Mitch the picture and asked him which of these two horses I would look like, if I were a horse. He laughed and laughed. It was a nervous laugh. I don't know why. I think it is obvious that I would be the big brown beautiful horse. Not the pudgy pony. It's not a trick question, Mitch. Just tell the truth. Would I be the sleek shiny brown horse, or the pony with a stumpy neck and thunder thighs?  Huh?  Which one?

So I challenged him to find a picture of what he would look like as a horse.  He actually Googled "What would I look like as a horse."  And this is what he swears Google came up with:

Yeah, right.
Today he sent me this in an email that just said, "My horse self"

my husband

So what would you look like if you were a horse?


  1. Me as Horse: http://tosh.cc.com/blog/files/2013/06/CrazyHorse.jpg

  2. I don't know enough about horses to be able to say I'd be any particular type of horse, but I would probably be one that is physically fit but unhappy with its level of abdominal definition.


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