Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Why does my anxiety have to come in the form of unrelenting diarrhea?

This might be the last post I ever write because I feel like I'm about to DIE.  Not die so much, that might be overstating, but I feel like I could have anxiety induced diarrhea for about three hours.  Not quite so glamorous as dying beautifully with my hand on my forehead and a forlorn feminine moan.

Tomorrow I am going on a much-anticipated trip to Washington DC with my two wonderful sisters, and because I've been so busy with work and life in general; I forgot that I am getting worse and worse when it comes to taking off and landing in planes.  I am right this very moment at the public library with one of my classes (have I mentioned that I LOVE MY JOB) and I got an email from Delta telling me, "It's time to check in!" and almost immediately my stomach rumbled and I remembered, "Oh yeah, I hate flying."

Actually I don't mind the flying, it's only the two minutes it takes to get off the ground, and the ten minutes it takes to land.  On one of my recent trips we flew through some bad weather on the descent to the airport and did a free fall for what felt like two miles.  When we were exiting the plane I saw the pilot and he looked all sweaty and nervous.  Holy crap.  And a few months ago I saw the movie Flight with Denzel Washington. In it he is a drunken pilot and the plane breaks in mid-air and he has to do some quick, alcohol-induced thinking and fly the plane UPSIDE DOWN in order to land.  I think I would rather just die.  And won't it be ironic now if I do.  No, that's not irony, stupid.  

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