Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Bear Bait

Hey, guess who never blogs anymore?  Me!  Except for today.  Today I'm blogging.  Here's a funny story for you.  One of Mitch's friends is going to be bear hunting this fall.  Bear hunters leave bait out for the bears for a while before hunting season starts to lure the bears to a certain spot so when the time comes for the hunting to start, it's super easy to go to the local bears' new favorite restaurant and shoot them which I would fully support if panda bears lived around here. Of course, stupid pandas won't eat anything but stupid bamboo so baiting would be pretty boring and easy.  Just like panda bears.  Anyway, Minnesota black bears like to eat what people like to eat so bear bait is pretty good stuff. Pastry and bacon and stuff.

Mitch's friend Frank is going to bear hunting this fall and he's leaving strawberry preserves and granola. Pretty high quality bait!   Way to go, Frank!  Mitch thinks it sounds delicious too so he keeps bugging Frank about where the bait is being left.  Frank won't tell him because he doesn't want Mitch going there and eating it.  Ridiculous, right?  Right.

We were talking about this while eating dinner tonite, and Kira said, "Our neighbor baits bears.  He leaves bacon and donuts."  We were quiet, all of us thinking the same question but not daring to actually say the words.  I think she sensed it, but didn't say anything in her defense because she couldn't deny the question that was on all of our minds, and now, because of her silence, we all know she is out in the woods eating bear bait bacon.

So Frank, where DO you leave your bait???

What would make this delicious breakfast better?  Bear bait, of course!


  1. Bear baiting is legal in Maine, too; although there's a referendum to reverse that on the next ballot. I never thought of a walk in the woods as snack hunt....hmmmm....

  2. Oh my gad I'm so glad your posting again! I'm the "followahh" remember?!?! I told some of my friends about your blog so if you get a lot of blog viewers from Uncasville, Connecticut your welcome!! Oh and I facking hate pandas too!! (I also fake a Boston accent often, hence the A in "god" and "fucking").


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