Mitch had a piece of plastic poking out under his shirt today so I pulled it and we got into an altercation. Here is the dialogue:
Me: What's this?
Mitch: DON'T PULL ON IT! It's my belt!
Me: It's not a belt, it's plastic, what is it?
Mitch: It's made of zip ties, okay? Stop pulling it! I can't loosen it!
Me: SHUT UP! You made a BELT from zip ties!! WHY?
Mitch: STOP PULLING ON IT! Oh great now it's too tight... I was at work and I needed a belt so I made one, okay?
Me: But zip-ties? Let me see it...
Mitch: Hands off! Now I have to cut it off! Thanks a lot!
Me: Oh my god, it really is a zip tie belt!
Mitch: Where're the scissors... Jesus. These zip ties aren't cheap, you know! You ruined it!
Me: But how were you going to get it off?
Mitch: CUT IT! But I didn't need to cut it off yet! I had it just right!
Me: YOU CAN'T WEAR ZIP TIES AS A BELT!
Mitch: I THINK I ALREADY DID ALL DAY LONG!
Me: ........
Mitch: .........
Me: ........
Mitch: You can't blog about this.
Me: I can't NOT blog about this.
Me: What's this?
Mitch: DON'T PULL ON IT! It's my belt!
Me: It's not a belt, it's plastic, what is it?
Mitch: It's made of zip ties, okay? Stop pulling it! I can't loosen it!
Me: SHUT UP! You made a BELT from zip ties!! WHY?
Mitch: STOP PULLING ON IT! Oh great now it's too tight... I was at work and I needed a belt so I made one, okay?
Me: But zip-ties? Let me see it...
Mitch: Hands off! Now I have to cut it off! Thanks a lot!
Me: Oh my god, it really is a zip tie belt!
Mitch: Where're the scissors... Jesus. These zip ties aren't cheap, you know! You ruined it!
Me: But how were you going to get it off?
Mitch: CUT IT! But I didn't need to cut it off yet! I had it just right!
Me: YOU CAN'T WEAR ZIP TIES AS A BELT!
Mitch: I THINK I ALREADY DID ALL DAY LONG!
Me: ........
Mitch: .........
Me: ........
Mitch: You can't blog about this.
Me: I can't NOT blog about this.
i made my husband read this, after he heard me wheezing with laughter over the computer. he doesn't like to be blogged about either, but thinks mitch's idea was GENIUS. let him know!
ReplyDeleteGive him credit for ingenuity will ya?
ReplyDeleteMitch, I know you don't like to be 'blogged' about. I also know your wife does not respect your privacy at all, but, GOD DAM, it is good to hear about you, you handsome son of a bitch. You, my friend, are what men should be! Resourceful. I bet you were just out trying to bring home the bacon when you ran headlong into a belt related emergency and you being, resourceful, thrifty, smart, handsome, and i am told a snappy dresser, used what you had on hand to fight the relentless forces of gravity on your dungarees. I think you should be applauded for sticking with pants at all given the fact that as you age you seem to be taking on the shape of a waffle cone with two scoops. Lets face it a lesser man would have made the move to a jump suit or 'mork and mindy' rainbow suspenders long ago, but not you, you magnificent bastard, you are keeping it classy 24-7-365. Your wife should be less disgusted with you and realize that she scored huge with such and wonderful hunk of man meat (that feels like he has been married for about a hundred years sometimes).
ReplyDeleteT-Bone read this and got a "well done, bro," look on his face.
ReplyDeleteLorin's rope belt sounds way better than Mitch's zip tie belt. I just realized how cool my bro-in-laws are. Yikes.
ReplyDelete