Saturday, August 3, 2013

The Luxury

No kid is ever going to tell their parent, "Wow.  You are doing everything right.  I have no complaints whatsoever!"  There is always something to complain about.  The latest around our house is that the toilet paper I buy isn't up to Kira's standards.  She claims she is so deprived of good toilet paper that she probably doesn't even know what the good stuff is really like. (She doesn't)  She says that the stuff they have at school is nicer than the stuff we have at home. 

A while back we went to the movies and she came out of the bathroom with a wad of toilet paper and proclaimed very loudly in the lobby, "Mom!  They have the good stuff!  Feel the luxury!"  and then rubbed the wad on my cheek.  It wasn't that nice, but it was two ply.  I buy one ply.  She brought the wad home with us and had big plans to ration it out to herself over the next several bathroom breaks.  She offered to share "the luxury" with me but I told her I didn't care about the quality of the toilet paper I use to dab my pee drips and then immediately flush.  She didn't believe me and left about a foot of it on my pillow in case I changed my mind.  Mitch says I should buy Quilted Northern sometime just to show her what real luxury is like. 

Lately road crews have been patching up our road.  They put some kind of sticky tar on the cracks and then go over it with toilet paper. 

Kira examined some of the road toilet paper and proclaimed that even that is nicer than the toilet paper I buy for my family.  She said it is at least two ply.  She is considering collecting some of the road luxury to add to her stash at home. 
Poor baby.


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