I got beat up by a tree

I mowed the lawn today for the first time in weeks.  We haven't been able to mow for weeks and weeks because we haven't had a day without rain.  Not that it's been raining a lot, but lately every time that I thought, "Hey, I should mow the lawn." it would then rain really hard for five minutes.  Long enough to get everything soaked and make me say, "Screw this."  The grass was loooooooong.

I was on the tractor, mowing under a stupid tree that has really low branches. I was ducking down so as not to get beheaded, when the tree literally grabbed my hood and tried to strangle me.  I couldn't stop the tractor because I was leaning over on the wrong side.  The tractor kept going, but my hood dragged me back and as I was being ripped off the mower, the tree branch scraped along my face and a particularly hard branch punched me solidly in the shoulder.  My face hurt so bad that I was sure I was bleeding profusely, but I wasn't.  I have a thin welt and scrape that runs from the left side of my mouth to my ear.  Like the Joker. They call it a "Glasgow Smile."  Really attractive.  Thanks a lot, tree. That looks weird, but my shoulder is KILLING me.  It hurts to even touch the skin.  If I knew how, or dared to use one, I would get a chainsaw and cut that stupid tree down.