I knew that when Sam was little that he was easier to handle than 99% of kids and that I was lucky. I knew that the chances of having two easy kids wasn't very likely, but I went ahead and risked it anyway and had another baby. I knew when I was told it was a girl that I would possibly encounter some conflict when she got to her teens. But I had no idea.
She tortures me. The other day we were all in the car and she started narrating everything that was going on in the deep voice that movie announcers use. You know, the guy who says, "IN A WORLD...." and then goes on to tell about a boring movie in a melodramtic way? Yeah, she was doing that. But she was just copying everything we were saying. For instance, I would say, "Kira stop doing that!" and she would say, (in the deep voice), "MOM WANTS ME TO STOP DOING THIS." Sam would say, "Kira, seriously, it's really annoying." and she would say, "SAM SERIOUSLY THINKS THIS IS ANNOYING." It was funny at first, then it was annoying, then it was really annoying, and then it got ridiculous, and then it got funny again. Eventually we all had to stop talking so she wouldn't have anything to narrate, but then she started narrating the songs on the radio. She was narrating that song by Kelly Clarkson, Stronger, and I was just trying to get home. We were close. I was flooring it. Just a few more miles.
Kelly Clarkson singing: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...
Kira in the movie voice: WHAT DOESN'T KILL HER MAKES HER STRONGER...
Kelly Clarkson: Stand a little taller...
Kira: SHE STANDS A LITTLE TALLER...
Kelly Clarkson: Just me, myself, and I...
Kira: JUST HER, HERSELF, AND HER...
And then I totally lost it and almost had to pull over because I was laughing so hard I was actually in pain. I had tears streaming from my eyes and I could hardly breathe. It wasn't that funny! Why was I laughing that hard? I think she just wore me down and made me crack. Up to that point it was just irritating and kind of funny. All she was doing was narrating whatever anyone else said, but for some reason, converting the pronouns of "me, myself, and I" to "her, herself, and her" in that ridiculous voice just made me lose it. It was an uncomfortable, totally out of control feeling and I didn't like it.
This isn't even the story I meant to tell here. This was just the set-up to let you know what I go through on a day to day basis. The real story is so so so much worse. But this post is already long enough so you'll just have to wait and read it tomorrow.
She tortures me. The other day we were all in the car and she started narrating everything that was going on in the deep voice that movie announcers use. You know, the guy who says, "IN A WORLD...." and then goes on to tell about a boring movie in a melodramtic way? Yeah, she was doing that. But she was just copying everything we were saying. For instance, I would say, "Kira stop doing that!" and she would say, (in the deep voice), "MOM WANTS ME TO STOP DOING THIS." Sam would say, "Kira, seriously, it's really annoying." and she would say, "SAM SERIOUSLY THINKS THIS IS ANNOYING." It was funny at first, then it was annoying, then it was really annoying, and then it got ridiculous, and then it got funny again. Eventually we all had to stop talking so she wouldn't have anything to narrate, but then she started narrating the songs on the radio. She was narrating that song by Kelly Clarkson, Stronger, and I was just trying to get home. We were close. I was flooring it. Just a few more miles.
Kelly Clarkson singing: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...
Kira in the movie voice: WHAT DOESN'T KILL HER MAKES HER STRONGER...
Kelly Clarkson: Stand a little taller...
Kira: SHE STANDS A LITTLE TALLER...
Kelly Clarkson: Just me, myself, and I...
Kira: JUST HER, HERSELF, AND HER...
And then I totally lost it and almost had to pull over because I was laughing so hard I was actually in pain. I had tears streaming from my eyes and I could hardly breathe. It wasn't that funny! Why was I laughing that hard? I think she just wore me down and made me crack. Up to that point it was just irritating and kind of funny. All she was doing was narrating whatever anyone else said, but for some reason, converting the pronouns of "me, myself, and I" to "her, herself, and her" in that ridiculous voice just made me lose it. It was an uncomfortable, totally out of control feeling and I didn't like it.
This isn't even the story I meant to tell here. This was just the set-up to let you know what I go through on a day to day basis. The real story is so so so much worse. But this post is already long enough so you'll just have to wait and read it tomorrow.
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