Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Your toilet is all wrong, did you know?

Mitch is always sharing little factoids with me and most of the time they are outrageous lies, but every once in a while he gets me with a whopper of truth that is so unbelievable that I call him a liar and then I feel bad when I research it and find out it is true.

Like the time he told me there was a cow at the University of Minnesota that had a window in its side so you could see its insides at work.  I didn't believe it.  Come on!  Who would?  But it was true.  There really was a cow at the U of M with a window in its side.  How did I find out?  Mitch's brother Mat told me it was true.  Mat told me that there was also a pig at the U of M that had gloves in its side so students could stick their hands inside a live pig and feel what the organs and insides are like.  He was totally convincing.  He said the only problem was that when the pig got gas the gloves would shoot out like arms.  Then Mitch and Mat both cracked up laughing and I knew it wasn't true.  Then Mat said, "But the cow is true," and I believed it, because I was too exhausted to be skeptical.  They wore me down. I have been telling people about the cow with a window for years, but when I looked it up for this post, I can find nothing on it so now I'm doubting if that is true at all.  I'll have to talk to Mitch about this.

Anyway, the cow/pig with a window/arms is not what this post is about.  Mitch's factoid today was that Americans are sorely lacking in muscle development because of our toilets.  I said, "What!" in sarcastic disbelief.  He said squatting is a much healthier way of going to the bathroom, and in many parts of the world this is how people do it.  Yeah, right.  They don't have toilets?  Puh-lease.  So I looked it up.  I found this site and it turns out he's right.  (god, I hate that so much)

I really had no idea about this phenomenon of squat toilets in other parts of the world. Look at the pictures I found:

Amazing.  This is a picture of a public toilet in Japan.  See, it's true!
How do you use it, you ask?
I'll show you:

Well, I won't personally, but this guy who kept his pants on and his back turned for our little demonstration will.  See that squat?  That's apparently a better way for you to go.  It develops your leg muscles and it's better for your intestines too. Things tend not to get so "bunched up." (Although accidental stall walk-ins would be horrible for both parties.  You can't really reach out to hold the door shut and say, "Occupado!"  when your back is turned and the door swings out.  You'd just have to sit there and beg the intruder to shut the door, which I'm sure they would right away because who wants to see that?)

"But Sarah," you ask, "I'm American and have never gone in a squatting way unless you count that time I went in the woods because it was an emergency and I pooped on the strap of my overalls, and that was a bad experience I would not like to repeat, thank you very much. Besides, I can't really squat anyway unless I totally remodel my bathroom, right?"  Wrong!  You could get one of these: 

This is called "Natures Platform" and with it you can climb up to your pot every day and work those leg muscles.  Wouldn't that be better than stupid Jillian Michaels and her 30 Day Shred?  

Here's another model of a squatter.  This one is in France.  Where's the toilet paper, you ask?  Well, I don't know.  I don't know where the toilet paper is.  I really hope it's somewhere.

This is such a common international phenomenon that places with toilets like the lame one you use have to put these signs up so happy people with well developed leg muscles and non-bunched intestines won't step on the toilet seat and dirty it up with their shoes.

Aren't you glad Mitch shared this with me today? 


  1. Wow, they really get down there, don't they? That would probably stop the pee spray from happening all over both of my legs. I mean the person's legs. Thanks much, as I head to SE Asia next week.

  2. This is so funny... thanks for sharing.

  3. Kady have fun....because everywhere in SE Asia has those "toilets". No lie. I definitely wouldn't want to poop in one. And those signs ARE there. And there still ARE shoeprints on the toilet seat....

  4. I saw a cow with a window in the side of it on the show Dirty Jobs. They could reach in it...yuck. Never!!

    I'm glad that we have toilets to sit on.

  5. Yeah. The gut window is true. My x-boss has a son in vet school over there. Also x-bf was an airman in S. Korea so he talked about the 'troughs'. Also apparently there weren't doors nor segregated restrooms either... at least in the places he hung out in which I don't think I'll go in to here.

  6. Seems like it must take practice. I just tried squatting like that, if I go too narrow I fall over backwards unless I stick my arms way out front. So I have to go a little wide and then splay my feet out to get any balance. I wonder if practicing that would wear down the bone spurs in my knees?

  7. I was in Italy and saw the whole toilet squatter bathroom thing for the first time. I was like: say wha? omg that's so third-world country!
    But you are right. It isn't. I dont remember where they kept the toilet paper. I think there was a dispenser just like normal. And helpful shoe marks so you knew where to put your feet and wouldn't wee on yourself. But still. I just couldn't use it.


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