GO OUTSIDE!

My kids will hear those two words approximately 50,000,000 times in the next six months.  It is finally so nice outside that there is no reason for them to be inside, especially since there are several months of the year where spending any significant amount of time outside results in the loss of fingers and toes.

We live on a ten acre wooded lot but for some reason the kids spend most of their time outside on the driveway or on the road.  It drives me crazy and makes me want to move into an apartment.  So then I find myself screaming more specifically.  It goes from "GO OUTSIDE!" to "GET OFF THE DECK!" to "GET OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY!" to  "GO DOWN THE HILL!" to "GO IN THE WOODS!"  and then they reluctantly and pathetically stand in the woods getting bit by mosquitoes until I find something to do besides nag them.  Later they drift back to the house and come in under the pretense of "going to the bathroom."  (Yeah, right.  You can do that in the woods too, kids.)

Actually, I kid; they are pretty good sports about being outside 15 hours a day.  Kira will soon start catching birds by standing quietly near the bird feeders and slapping them out of the air, and Sam has already started taking garbage out of the burn pile to hoard in the hopes of someday assembling a fort.   It's just that I get so used to being a childless person in the spring and summer when they are outside so often, that when they come in for meals and bedtime, it's a bit of a shock and they cramp my style of peace and quiet and having things that are clean and in their proper places.   For example, while I'm trying to write this, Kira came in the house, sat down next to me and asked me, "Mom, which one of your toes is your least favorite?"  (it's a hard question and unpleasant to think about.)

I think the  most annoying part of them going in and out of the house in the summer is the sound of the door opening a kajillion times a day.  I now understand why my mother would latch the screen door shut when my sisters and I went outside.  If we wanted to come in we had to have a good reason.  There was a bathroom right by the door, so if that was the reason for coming in, she would wait and then relatch the door when we left.  I thought that was so mean when I was a kid, but now, Mom, I totally get it.  Luckily for my kids, our screen door doesn't lock.