Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Pumpkin Bread

I think I'm being blackballed at work because I haven't been called for a job in a while.  Actually I've been called but just for the shittiest of jobs, like the one where the teacher left a note that said, "I have ten middle-school boys in my class and they all have severe behavior problems."  Um, no thanks.  Being a sub is enough of a target for behavior problems in a regular class, much less than one with ten behavior problems so severe that she feels she has to write a disclaimer note.  I also got called for a kindergarten job at a rural school that is the on the opposite side of the school district from my rural home.  No sub job is worth a two hour commute, much less a kindergarten job.  There's not enough wine... 

I brought the phone into the bedroom with me to take morning calls today and there was not a peep.  Nobody needs a sub.  So I thought maybe I somehow got taken off the call list, so I looked online to see what jobs were available.  None.  Nobody needed a sub.  What is going on????  I am working tomorrow for a job I lined up in September.  Finally.  Mama needs some walkin' around money! 

So instead of being productive member of society today, I am contributing to the growing problem of obesity by turning a nutritious vegetable into delicious desserts. 

I made pumpkin cookies (last pan is in the oven right now) and pumpkin bread.  The recipe for pumpkin bread is the best in the world, and my mom gives it to me every year because I always lose it right after I make it.  I'll attach it on the bottom, that way you can have it too, and next year I can look under the label "pumpkin bread" and find it right away.  Oh my god, I'm so clever.

I found the cookie recipe online and they are alright.  Not the best, not the worst.  I have to make some sugar glaze and then they'll be better.  Whatever.  I used up two cans of pumpkin and killed about four hours so, mission accomplished?  I also forgot that we own a mixer so instead I used the hand mixer my grandma gave me about ten years ago that was at her cabin for about 50 years.  It works but it's splattery and emits ozone which smells great, but I don't know if it's good for me, or for the environment.  You'd think it would be great for the environment by helping patch up the giant hole in the ozone layer, but apparently it's a greenhouse gas, so it's bad?  Dammit, Science, stop being so contrary!

That's the environmental-hazard, million year old hand mixer just sitting there, being messy and hazardous; and look what it's sitting in front of: the Kitchen Aid mixer I forgot we have because it sits on the counter all the time and I don't even see it anymore.  Now I have to decide if I'm going to go to the gym tonight, or sit home and watch tv and stuff my face full of pumpkin bread.  WWJD?  (I think we all know what I'm going to do.)

Here's the pumpkin bread recipe as written in an email from my mom earlier today:

1 1/2 C. sugar
1/2 C veg oil
2 eggs
1 C pumpkin
1 3/4 C flour
1/4 t baking powder
1 t soda
1 t salt
1/2 t cloves
1/2 t cinnamon
1/2 t allspice
1/3 C water
1/2 C raisins or nuts (optional)
Mix all together and put in large greased loaf pan.  Bake at 350 1 hour or until done when toothpick comes out clean.
I will be expecting your email next year for the recipe again. Love, Mom
Well, you won't get it, Mom because the recipe will be RIGHT HERE!  HA HA!


  1. I love all things pumpkin. Oh, except a Mario Lopez shaped pumpkin.

  2. There is not enough money in print for me to sub in our school district!
    God Bless You!

  3. I can smell your kitchen from here!

    Still in the 60's here in Colorado! I need cold to make pumpkin bread, damn it!!

    Checked out the vanity! Wow, nice job! I went back over some of your past blogs.... some good laughs!!!
    You are so f*in funny!


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