Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Krampus

I just heard a story on the radio about a mythical Christmas creature called the Krampus.  Why didn't anyone ever tell me about this???  I LOVE IT!  The Krampus is a demon-like creature who plays the yin to Santa's yang and while Santa is giving presents to the kids on the nice list, "when the Krampus finds a particularly naughty child, it stuffs the child in its sack and carries the frightened thing away to its lair, presumably to devour for its Christmas dinner." (from Wikipedia)


Merry Christmas!


Do you know how much I would have loved to tell my kids that they better be good or the Krampus would come and kidnap them via giant sac and then take them to his stinky cave and eat them alive?  That is what Christmas is all about!  All I had in my parenting tool-belt was "Be good!  Santa is watching!  You might not get a present if you're naughty!"  Kira was so naughty when she was little,



that the "Santa's-watching!" threat never worked on her. She didn't care.  If Santa stiffed her, she would make Santa sorry he was ever born.  If the Krampus was in the picture, I might have gotten better results.  Oh well.  It's too late for my kids.  They would laugh if I told them about it now.  But it's not too late for my nieces!




And the best part about telling them in disturbing detail about the Krampus is that in their waking hours they will be scared to death to be naughty, and because I'm not their mother, I won't have to deal with the inevitable night-terrors!  Win-win!  I can't wait to see their big eyes when I tell them all about listening carefully in the dead of night for the clip-clop of cloven hooves on Mom's new hardwood floors,  



and that the only way to avoid being stolen and eaten by the Krampus is to sleep IN BETWEEN Mom and Dad every single night of the year.  


Wow, this is so great that I might have to start teaching kindergarten again!  I'll get this book for story time!


Sleep well, kids!

6 comments:

  1. Oh my gawd. That is so awesome. I'm starting to dislike Christmas more and more every year.

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  2. OMG! I love Krampus. I've always thought that Santa was a little too PC and positive affirmative.

    Krampus is where it's at if you want your kids to behave!

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  3. Weird. Who's this Santa Claus character? We never heard about him growing up. The way we heard it, it was all-Krampus, all the time. Santa sounds like a total bleeding-heart wuss.

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  4. Nice!...Sid is already "cared" enough as it is at night.

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  5. well, now we know the inspiration behind the grinch...

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