Monday, December 5, 2011


The other day when we were putting up the Christmas decorations, Kira opened a bag and after a sharp, startled intake of breath she said, "Oh my god, that scared me."  She was talking about the nutcracker she made in second grade.

"Cracking nuts with my mouth is my job. Do you find that disturbing?"
The thing is, I am positive I threw this in the garbage last year.  How did it get into its own bag and get tucked away with all the decorations?  I thought it was scary before, but now that I know it's haunted and has a mind of it's own, I'm terrified of it.  Especially since Kira gave me a tour of what she was thinking when she created it.

Brace yourself.....

Here's a close up of his face.  His mouth is off center and and his teeth are clenched because she says he's grunting.  Some of his teeth are black because she says they are rotten.  She tells me his skin is gray because "he's molting."

 I asked her to tell me about his clothes, thinking she would tell me about his buttons, but she tells me that originally his shirt was yellow, like his sleeves, but is now mostly red because of "all the blood."

 Here's a close-up of his dirty, gray, cottonball dreadlock.

Kira (at least I think it's Kira) has started moving him around and putting him places to startle me, like on my pillow,

or in the shower.  When a girl is naked and vulnerable the last thing she wants to see when she opens the shower curtain is this:

Sweet Jesus!
I want to throw it away again, but I'm afraid it will come back and then I will go out of my mind with terror.

Here it is telling me that it will leave me alone if I give him my first born son.  NOOOOOOOO!!!!!


  1. Dum-de dum dum dum dum
    Dum-de dum-de dum
    (Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy music)

  2. I have Gingerbread Man that The Boyfriends HATES!! He says it's evil.
    This year he has begun his Christmas terror, Ginger Man has been on his pillow, in his underwear drawer, his medicine cabinet........
    Oh the Christmas joy Ginger Man brings me!!!

  3. Anonymous left the wrong should be the theme from The Twilight Zone!