Sleepwalker

There was a brief period in my life when I was a sleepwalker.  It was when I was a waitress in college.  I would have vivid stress dreams of getting the food out to the right people and not dropping it, and that I couldn't find the waitress station.  In my dream I knew it was somewhere between our living room and our kitchen, but I couldn't find it.  Turns out I was wandering around my parent's house all night long.  I know it because at one point I had to get something out of the oven so I got a hot pad from the top drawer of my dresser and in the morning I found a pair of my clean underwear on the breadboard next to the oven in the kitchen.  I suspect that I've sleepwalked other times too, in fact, I suspect I was sleepwalking the other night.

We went to a barbeque at my friend Dana's house. She made me a cocktail called a "Southern Hospitality" (said in a thick southern drawl).  It's made with Southern Comfort, watermelon schnapps, and Red Bull.  It was so good.  It tasted like a Jolly Rancher.  So I had another one.  Mitch drove home.

While I was sleeping that night I had vivid dreams.  I dreamed that I was still at Dana's house and I was using her bathroom and I decided that my teeth really needed a good brushing so I took a toothbrush out of her toothbrush cup (which, coincidentally, was exactly like mine) and I started brushing my teeth.  It felt a little weird so I looked and it wasn't my orange toothbrush like I expected it to be, it was a black one.  Was I using Dana's toothbrush?  I bet she wouldn't like that.  Oh well, I thought, she will never have to know, and I kept brushing my teeth.  

Then I wandered into her kitchen which, again, was just like mine.  Same white tile floor.  I dreamed I was sitting on a stool in the middle of the floor and I suddenly really had to go to the bathroom.  I didn't want to pee in Dana's kitchen, but I couldn't seem to stop myself, so I peed and felt so much better but at the same time felt guilty for making such a big mess in her kitchen.  

Then I woke up in my bed in a panic because I know that having detailed dreams of peeing is never a good thing so I thrashed around in utter dread, thinking I wet my bed.  I didn't.  Thank goodness.  Mitch would NEVER let me live that down.  Then I thought maybe (oh sweet Jesus, please no) I got up and peed all over the kitchen.  But I wasn't wet.  So I went back to sleep.  Then I dreamed that there was a hidden room behind Dana's bathroom that looked just exactly like Sam's room.  In fact, Sam was sleeping in it.  Did Dana know about this?  Is Sam leading a double life?  In my dream I told myself to remember to tell her about the hidden room behind her bathroom, but I wasn't going to tell her Sam was living in it.  

In the morning I got up and discovered that nobody had urinated all over the kitchen.  I was totally ready to blame the dog if I found a big puddle of pee in there, but thankfully, there was none.  I did, however, have a suspiciously empty bladder, and surprisingly clean teeth. So, did I walk around my house all night dreaming I was still at Dana's party?  Was it the Southern Comfort, the watermelon schnapps, or the Red Bull that gave me such a weird night?  Nobody will ever know. 

Are you a sleepwalker?