Do you ever feel like you are a little dumber than you normally are? Like sometimes for a few months you might be especially clever, but then that is balanced out by being a complete idiot for a couple months. I'm somewhere in the middle of a truly idiotic phase which makes me wonder why, since I don't recall having any particularly smart phases. Part of being an idiot is not realizing you are an idiot, but I finally came around to the idea when I realized that not a lot is going on in my head these days. Usually I'm thinking about things I'm reading, or about things to write, or about things to do, but when I'm having my dumb days this is what is in my head, ".........huh?..............(crickets)................(tumbleweeds)....."
Also I've been playing a game called Quoridor with my family. It is the only board game I can stand. The object is to get your game piece across the board to the other player's home before he can get to your home. To help, each player gets ten little wood fences that they can prop in the grooves in the board impeding their opponent's movement. (Quoridor = Corridor? Hallway? get it?) Usually if I can get someone to play with me I have a fair shot at winning, but not lately. I think I've won three games of the last 300 I've made Sam, Kira, and Mitch play with me. I thought I was forgetting about some key strategy so I had Mitch talk me through his thinking as he was putting up his fences and I still lost. I'm obsessed with this now. Why can't I win? When will this bout of idiocy be over? Kira is starting to take advantage of me, "Mom, I'll play Quoridor with you and if I win you have to do the dishes for me tonight, mkay?" I can't resist.
A few days ago Kira thought it would be hilarious to set up the Chess board and have me play Mitch. He beat me in about four moves, but in my defense, I don't know how to play Chess. The idiotic part is that I didn't admit to Mitch or to myself that I don't know how to play. I thought I could fake my way to a win and was a little ticked at all his snotty Chess jargon:
Mitch: Check
Me: What the fuck are you talking about?
I've been reading two books that I started before the idiocy began; Jane Eyre because it's my favorite, and a book called Pox Americana about the smallpox epidemic of 1775-1782. I know that the cloak of dimness descended sometime after Jane realized she was in love with Mr. Rochester because I could not put the book down, but now, when she is in crisis after finding out about his hidden wife, I can't get through five pages without being amused by something utterly ridiculous. Like when Mr. Rochester was comparing Jane with his wife and he said, "...look at the difference! Compare these clear eyes with the red balls yonder - this face with that mask..." I had to stop reading because I wasn't comprehending anything and all that was going through my head was, ".... 'red balls yonder'...... lol."
As for the other book, Pox Americana, I started it and was fascinated because it combines two of my favorite subjects; the American Revolution and pestilence. I've always loved pestilence. But lately I've been reading about how smallpox traveled around throughout the entire continent with people and on blankets, and how horrific it was to be completely covered in a huge smallpox scab and I think, "...huh....boring." That is sooooo unlike me! I usually love to read about deadly epidemics. When I was in my twenties my favorite book was a terrifying non-fiction book called The Coming Plague. It still gives me shivers (of joy) to think about it.
I guess I have no choice but to ride this out and hope it ends. The question is what to do to entertain myself while my IQ is below 80? Maybe I'll read Fifty Shades of Grey.
Nah. I'm not that desperate. I'd rather just sit in a chair and stare and think of absolutely nothing. (raaaarrr!)
Also I've been playing a game called Quoridor with my family. It is the only board game I can stand. The object is to get your game piece across the board to the other player's home before he can get to your home. To help, each player gets ten little wood fences that they can prop in the grooves in the board impeding their opponent's movement. (Quoridor = Corridor? Hallway? get it?) Usually if I can get someone to play with me I have a fair shot at winning, but not lately. I think I've won three games of the last 300 I've made Sam, Kira, and Mitch play with me. I thought I was forgetting about some key strategy so I had Mitch talk me through his thinking as he was putting up his fences and I still lost. I'm obsessed with this now. Why can't I win? When will this bout of idiocy be over? Kira is starting to take advantage of me, "Mom, I'll play Quoridor with you and if I win you have to do the dishes for me tonight, mkay?" I can't resist.
A few days ago Kira thought it would be hilarious to set up the Chess board and have me play Mitch. He beat me in about four moves, but in my defense, I don't know how to play Chess. The idiotic part is that I didn't admit to Mitch or to myself that I don't know how to play. I thought I could fake my way to a win and was a little ticked at all his snotty Chess jargon:
Mitch: Check
Me: What the fuck are you talking about?
I've been reading two books that I started before the idiocy began; Jane Eyre because it's my favorite, and a book called Pox Americana about the smallpox epidemic of 1775-1782. I know that the cloak of dimness descended sometime after Jane realized she was in love with Mr. Rochester because I could not put the book down, but now, when she is in crisis after finding out about his hidden wife, I can't get through five pages without being amused by something utterly ridiculous. Like when Mr. Rochester was comparing Jane with his wife and he said, "...look at the difference! Compare these clear eyes with the red balls yonder - this face with that mask..." I had to stop reading because I wasn't comprehending anything and all that was going through my head was, ".... 'red balls yonder'...... lol."
As for the other book, Pox Americana, I started it and was fascinated because it combines two of my favorite subjects; the American Revolution and pestilence. I've always loved pestilence. But lately I've been reading about how smallpox traveled around throughout the entire continent with people and on blankets, and how horrific it was to be completely covered in a huge smallpox scab and I think, "...huh....boring." That is sooooo unlike me! I usually love to read about deadly epidemics. When I was in my twenties my favorite book was a terrifying non-fiction book called The Coming Plague. It still gives me shivers (of joy) to think about it.
I guess I have no choice but to ride this out and hope it ends. The question is what to do to entertain myself while my IQ is below 80? Maybe I'll read Fifty Shades of Grey.
Nah. I'm not that desperate. I'd rather just sit in a chair and stare and think of absolutely nothing. (raaaarrr!)
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| "... yeah, that's right." |
David Puddy.....I love that picture:)
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that you say this. My spurts of smart/stupid and funny/unfunny are never very long. But especially since I got into twitter I'm like--why can't I think of any hilarious jokes to share? because all I do is follow hilarious comedians.
ReplyDelete