Monday, April 8, 2013

Why having a large vocabulary is important

I was reading blogs this morning and came across this one from Kathleen at Brutalism:

Because I'm a teacher and I find the process of learning so innately beautiful, I will walk you through my particular learning process upon seeing this post.

First I read the title of the post and didn't get it.  I didn't know what a merkin was, but I was pretty sure it was a small pickle.  (I have subsequently found out I was thinking of a gherkin.)  Because I thought a merkin was a pickle, I didn't get why a person would donate hair to a charity called "Merkins of Hope."

Moving on.  I then looked at the picture of the sequined bacon and thought to myself, "mmmmmmm..........bacoooooooooonnnnnnn......."  and then saw that it was made by a company called Montabahn Pasties.  I know what pasties are.  I learned it the hard way.  They are BOTH this:

teeny, usually tassled nipple covers mostly used by sex workers, AND ALSO THIS:

A meat pie.

For decades I thought the only noun form of  "pasty" was meat pie so you can imagine my confusion when I heard someone say, "... and then she walked in wearing nothing but pasties!"  Interesting.  

Anyway, back to the Brutalism blog post.  Because the bacon was of the sequined variety, and not the meat-pie variety, I made the assumption that this particular company was selling tiny nipple covers and not meat pies.  But then I thought, "But HOW does one wear this sequined bacon on their nipples?  It isn't exactly nipple-shaped and would look odd."  I was confused.  I totally didn't get it.  Then I looked back to see where I went wrong.  Kathleen gave credit for the title to 30 Rock.  I've seen every episode of 30 Rock and vaguely remember that quote, but didn't get it.  I probably thought, "Why would Jenna donate her hair to a pickle company?"  Then I laughed because that would  be ridicuous!  Oh!  That's the joke! I get it!  (I thought).  

Then I saw that although the sequined bacon is made by a company that specializes in pasties (NOT the food kind), but the product is called a bacon MERKIN, not a bacon PASTY.  Perhaps I was wrong in making the assumption that a merkin is a small pickle.  On to

And then:

...Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........  I get it now!  Now it all makes sense!  The 30 Rock quote was NOT a joke about how ridiculous it would be to donate hair to a pickle factory, The sequined bacon is not meant to oddly hang off the nipples, and the post Kathleen wrote was about how wonderful Etsy is in that you can buy anything!  Even bacon merkins!  

Although, mostly what I get out of this whole experience just makes me want this:

Bacon Gherkin


  1. Laughing my ASS OFF.
    Now I want a bacon gherkin.
    And I so do NOT want a sequin-adorned bacon merkin. WHY?!?!

  2. OMG I was eating a granola bar and know I am eyes are watering....laughing and choking......I may die


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