1. I made a snowman for the joy of watching it melt and I hurt my back lifting up the giant balls because I'm so out of shape because...
2. When it snows I would rather be drinking beer or wine until I fall asleep than doing housework, working out, parenting, being a good human being, etc. etc. (anything really).
3. If I have to scrape ice of my goddamn windshield one more time I will slash my own tires and set my car on fire.
4. The watery dogshit in the yard is multyplying exponentially with every new snowfall we get. I can feel it.
5. The pure depression of yet another snowfall almost caused me to impulse-buy a baby duck. Kira was all for it.
6. I'm sick of Mitch telling me how many inches I'll be getting every night.