Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tis the season

Do you know why the Salvation Army is called the Salvation Army? I bet you think it's because they collect people's old stuff (or salvage it) and then sell it in their stores and give the money to poor people.

That's what I thought, and if you think that too, you're wrong.

I recently learned the real story. What they are really salvaging is souls. It was started by a guy named William Booth in the 1860s. He preached to the poor and tried to feed and clothe them because it's easier to win over souls for the lord if you take care of them first. Then he and his top men, or command, as they are now called, decided to call themselves an army.

So it is a pseudo-military institution with ranks and they are harvesting souls one bell ring at a time. And much like the real military, they discriminate against homosexuals, (because as everyone knows, there are no gay people in heaven anyway so why bother, am I right?) In 2001 they sought a legal exemption from the anti-discrimination laws when it comes to hiring gay people. Because they are a church. Jesus would be so proud of his army, don't you think?


1 comment:

  1. So, I'm assuming that you don't drop your spare change in the bell ringer's bucket?


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