Presents

Well? Did you have a good Christmas? We did, even though the BLIZZARD kept us from traveling anywhere. I was smart enough to go to the grocery store on Wednesday evening and get staples like cookies, chex mix mixin's, pie, pop and beer.

The kids got fantastic presents. Kira got Heelies (shoes with wheels in the heels) and she is so excited because she grew out of her old ones and has been dying to be the most obnoxious person in places like Home Depot and the skywalk again. With her old ones I would take her on errands with me and she'd say she wanted to go look at something and then I'd see her zip by the aisle going about thirty. I just pretend I don't know her when she does that.

What? By the time I realize it's her she's 100 yards away and wouldn't hear me yelling anyway and then we'd both look like assholes. I just have to be patient and wait for her to go by me and then grab her hood and watch her feet fly up in the air, and then when she's flat on her back in the aisle and I have her full attention I quietly say, "Give me your wheels. NOW."

Sam got an iPod Touch. Before Christmas I told him the present his grandparents were giving him was so good that when he opened it he'd poop his pants. When he got his presents, he opened the biggest present first. It was a van transformer, which is good, but not pants-pooping good. He thought that had to be the pants-pooper because it was the biggest. Then he opened some socks, and then in a tiny little gift bag he opened the iPod. He didn't poop but he did almost faint. He is beyond thrilled. Kira is a little jealous, even though she got his old iPod that she has been coveting. She got hold of his new iPod today and wrote him a little note with the notes app. Here it is:

Wash your hair when you take a shower even the back of your head. Stop chewing your finger. You look better with long hair. You chew vary loudly. Your.poops rely stink. You shoud rely shave your mustash. Your hair is stiking up in the back. Where is your stoking.

Sam found it more hilarious than offensive to him personally, so I'm wondering if this is part of an ongoing inside joke about naggy things I tell them. Is that paranoid?