The Dark Ages

I have been without wifi at home for over a week now.  How did I ever live without the internet?  What kind of existence did I have if I couldn't find out within minutes what the R. in Edward R. Murrow stands for (Rocky), if cabbits are a real thing or if Mitch was just lying to me again (lying), or what is the meanest animal in the animal kingdom (honey badgers)?  I had vivid dreams last night about looking out at our wifi receiver thingy and seeing five red lights indicating that not only do we have internet, but we have super fast internet, but when I jumped out of bed to look to see if it was real, I saw that it wasn't.  I am doomed to another day of ignorance and hardship. 

Last time I had internet access I had a list of things I had to look up.  For one thing, I had to find out what kind of frog I found in my bathroom, and how to take care of it and feed it.  Can you believe that 15 or 20 years ago people who found frogs in their bathroom would have to go to the library and find a book about frogs?  And failing that, they would have to talk to strangers who might know more about frogs than they do.  TALK TO STRANGERS!  Ugh!  Just kidding.  I like talking to strangers as much as I like talking to anyone.  Especially people I will never see again.  That way there's no pressure to be on your best behavior or to try to be normal, and without the pressure it is, ironically, a lot easier to be normal.  Weird. 

Anyway, I took excellent care of the frog and he was eating the live flies I caught for him, and I think he also ate the centipede I found.  He was looking fat and moist and happy, and then one morning I looked in his home and he was gone.  He escaped.  I crawled around on my knees looking for him for a while, but I didn't find him.  He's gone.  Now I realize that I have given you the impression that my house is full of flies (dead and alive), centipedes, frogs and god knows what else.  I can just imagine the pictures you have in your head of my life style and living space.  I can't deny that yes, I do, apparently live among flies (alive and dead), centipedes, the occasional frog among other things; but despite experiencing at least four of the ten biblical plagues while sitting in my living room, it is quite pleasant and comfortable.  This is rural life, people!  We live with the wild life and without the internet!  I am exactly like Laura Ingalls Wilder.  I'm going to start telling people Mitch's real name is Manly.  (Remember?  Laura was married to Almonzo "Manly" Wilder?) 

Oh, Manly!

I am "working" right now for a social studies teacher that has all AP classes and one yearbook class.  It is so easy which almost balances out the days that I have to teach kindergarten or have to babysit ninth graders.  Almost.  In her instructions for her yearbook class she wrote, "Just have them do whatever."  OKAY!  I can definitely have them do "whatever" especially if "whatever" includes making them give me foot rubs and getting me candy from the vending machines.