I missed you!

OH MY GOD!  I haven't had internet for days and days!  I can get email on my phone and if I'm absolutely desperate I can get on the internet and look at blogs on my phone too, but the screen: she's so very very tiny, it was hard.  I don't know what the heck is wrong with our wi-fi.  It's really starting to get on my nerves.  Anyhoo, since I had no internet service I did things like clean the house, and pay attention to my children, and read books.  BOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!!  Just kidding.  I finished reading Roots and like I've mentioned before, it was hard to read because of how horrible slavery is, so after I finished it I thought, I have to read something totally different, and hopefully lighter.  So I picked up a book I got for Christmas and it was about a mother and a daughter.  Sweet!  I have a daughter!  But after I got into it, I realized it was mostly about the Holocaust.  You know what's more horrible than mid 19th century Southern white slave owners?  Nazis.  Hello again, nightmares!

Last night I went to book club, and I have to say, I love my new book club.  Sure, the book we read was good and we talked about it and all; but we also talked about hot-flashes, fiber-intake (complete with a sample of our hostess's delicious chewable fiber pills), public farting, the Bristol Stool Scale (which I forgot the name of so just googled "broman's poop chart" and got the desired results.  I love you, Google!)

When Dana brought up the poop chart on her computer for us to see, I was pretty proud because I am number one all the way, and number one is the best right?

 Apparently not.  A person should be aiming for number four.  Yeah, that's right.  Number four. 

Then we talked and talked about all kinds of stuff, and one of the ladies told the funniest story.  She said when she was young she heard a joke that she didn't get, but everyone who heard it laughed at it, so she laughed too, and later when she was having dinner with her parents she thought they might like to hear the funny joke.  The joke was "What is better than roses on your piano?  Tulips on your organ."  (get it, two lips).  She told the joke to her parents and then laughed and laughed, and not until years later did she finally get the joke and was immediately mortified that she told an oral sex joke to her parents at the dinner table. 

I'm still laughing about it.