Tuesday, June 7, 2011

In my opinion mosquitoes are annoying, but that's just me.

I have a mosquito bite on the hardest, thickest part of my big toe.  It might drive me insane because if I scratch it, it just makes it itch more, and it can't really be scratched because the itch is way underneath the thick skin.  I have even gone outside and scraped it on the sidewalk thinking that would give me some relief, but it didn't.  The itch is way inside there.  While I was out there scraping away I noticed a branch clipper leaning against the garage and thought, hey, if I clipped my toe off, I bet it wouldn't itch anymore!  Then I reconsidered because that seems a bit drastic.  I really have no tolerance for slight discomfort.

Actually I have about twenty mosquito bites just on my feet because apparently when I slathered my entire body in bug spray the other night I forgot to put any on my feet.  I have one bite on the arch that's really itching right now, about five on the backs of my heels, and the rest are on my toes.  How did I not even notice this was happening?  I'll tell you why.

I read about mosquitoes and in their little tiny proboscis they have two tubes.  One for stealing your precious blood, and one for administering anti-coagulants, pain killers, immunosuppressants, along with the occasional case of yellow fever, dengue fever, and malaria.  Yuck!  And how is that little proboscis strong enough to penetrate any of our skin, much less thick toe skin?  It's really thin and sharp, that's how.
earth's biggest asshole

Mosquitoes have been around for about 30 million years, honing their craft, so we really don't have a chance against them.  They are disease carrying, thieving little bastards.  If they were humans they would be the kind of people who would kidnap you in South America and steal your kidney to sell on the black market, and you wouldn't even know what happened to you.  You would just wake up in a hotel bathtub with a terrible headache and a sloppy incision in your side.  Do you think they'd care if they gave you hepatitis or sepsis?  No they wouldn't care at all.  All they care about is your precious kidney.  That's what kind of people mosquitoes are.  You wouldn't put up with someone injecting you with dirty needles or stealing your organs, so why is it okay for someone to inject you with drugs and gorge themselves on your blood every chance they get?  I know it's not PC to call for the extinction of an entire species (like pandas), but I don't care.  I say we kill all the mosquitoes.


  1. I am so with you on this one! Here in Maine, they are practically big enough to throw a saddle on!

  2. You and must be in the same place in the war against the mosquitos.

  3. No, it's not just you. Can we add ticks to the extinction list? Lice? They're pretty annoying and useless, too.


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