Friday, November 18, 2011

Miscellaneous

I've been sitting here in a chair by the fireplace dozing like a grandpa, periodically waking myself up with snorts, trying to recover from an injury.  I somehow pulled a muscle in my groin which makes me think that I must sleep walk or have a split personality who thinks she can actually do the splits because there is no way I did anything to cause myself this much pain while I was conscious.  I didn't even know I had a groin.  I thought that was in the realm of hernias and testicles, but I googled it, and women do have groins.  It's basically just your crotch/upper/inner thigh muscles.  Everyone has those.  Bet you didn't know that, did you?

Mitch left me.  For the weekend.  God, I can't believe you thought I meant he "LEFT me" left me.  Why don't you have any faith in our marriage?  Anyway, he took the kids to the cities because Kira has a hockey tournament.  So I'm here all alone and injured.  HEAR THAT, INTERNET PREDATORS!?!

I saw a bear this morning running across the road while I was driving to work.  It was pretty exciting especially because he wasn't in my yard destroying my property.  They are beautiful and majestic when they are in someone else's yard.

I've been spending my convalescing time googling stuff like groin and hernia.  (FYI - make sure that when you want to know about hernias, you're not on Google Images because OMG FOR GROSS.)  Earlier today I was looking at pictures of tigers because of the book I just read, and I saw a picture of a liger, which is a hybrid of a tiger and a lion and they grow to be enormous.  Like 800 pounds of giant scary cat.  So then I got interested in seeing other animal hybrids so I googled "animal hybrids" and I spent about the next twenty minutes laughing.  People are so funny.  I don't know what is real and not real.  Here's one I suspect is real:


A cow/buffalo hybrid.  Yeah, I can see that.  That could happen.  Buffalo are a lot like cattle.  This looks like a reasonable hybrid.  I believe it.


Next, a zebra/horse.  Do I believe this is real?  Yeah, I think I do.  I like it.


But do I really believe that a beagle and a squirrel had a baby with a squirrel body and a beagle head that loves to hold Milk Bones in his tiny squirrel hands?  I don't think I do. I suspect someone has photoshopped this.


Okay, I do not believe this one.  The reason is that if a chicken and a cat had a baby its head would not be that big.  That's just ridiculous.


These two made me laugh.  A tweety-bird and a shark.  Come on.  That's not real. Where does it live?  Apparently it's a walker wherever it lives.  I can tell by the shoes.  And the lion/hamster, I love it.  It's so fierce and adorable and again with the shoes.  Animals in shoes are hilarious.  If my groin didn't hurt so much I would put some shoes on my dog right now.


I think this is supposed to be a camel/eagle/tweety hybrid.  Don't believe it.


This one I DO NOT believe AT ALL.  For one thing, T-rexs are extinct and even if they weren't, a T-rex would NOT like a kangaroo.  If it was real I don't think its arms would just hang out of its neck and what really gives this picture away is that the baby kangaroo doesn't look anything like a T-rex.  In fact, most hybrid animals can't even breed, so, there you go.  REFUTED.  In fact, I don't believe most of the pictures I saw.


No.


No.


No.


I wish.


Ick.



No. (thank god)


Come on.

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for the chuckles this morning!

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  2. haha Very nice pics those last ones. Did you check out the Wholphins? I didn't see a big difference. The Geep (goat and sheep) is pretty awkward though!

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  3. hahaha - those pics are amazing. and maybe you pulled your groin chasing after the bear. in your sleep.

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