Monday, May 21, 2012

Kira's Art

I've posted about how ... unique(?) Kira's art is on this blog before.  It's either hilariously half-assed like this:

This piece is entitled "Three Blind Mice."  When asked why she said,  "You know, because
they don't have eyes."  When asked why there are only two of them she said, "Because you get the idea."

And this:

A balloon and some wings ripped off one of Sam's toys.
And this:

When asked why this shell only has one googly eye she said,
"It's young."
On the other hand, if she puts any effort into her art, it is utterly terrifying.  Like this:

This is the nutcracker she made in 2nd grade.  It even scares her.
And this:

Salt dough sculpture of Bill Clinton.  There was apparently not enough dough
to make eyelids.

This brings me to her latest, and I think, most terrifying art project.  In fairness, the assignment was to make an "ugly jug," but seriously, she went a little over the top.  As she would say, she "over-achieved."


I don't know what it is, exactly, that makes this so incredibly terrifying.  Is it the jagged shards of tile she used for teeth?


Or is it the long, crooked, broken nose that is reminiscent of Timer from the PTSD-inducing Time for Timer cartoon breaks in the 1970s?

Timer
Or is it her signature lack of eyelids?




I don't know if it is any one of those things alone, but all together it scares me.  She knows this too because when I told her to put her stuff away, she put this Ugly Jug right next to my pillow on my bed.  When I asked WHY she would do that, she said, "Because it's for you."

What is the statute of limitations on keeping your children's precious artwork?  When can I "accidentally" break this without seeming like a horrible mother?

21 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. That sounds ominous, what's a Black Snitch?

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    2. It just looks like a black version of the Golden Snitch from Harry Potter.

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    3. Ohhhhhhhhh the balloon! Yeah, it does look like a black snitch. I think that is what she was trying to make but she was too lazy to find a yellow balloon. And I think the wings really did come off a toy snitch but she wanted to make her own version. Really pissed Sam off.

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  2. Oh sarah, I'm a preschool teacher in a toddler room, and I'm reading this post as the tods are napping... Bad idea I almost woke all the kids up when I busted out laughing at kiras art. The nutcracker! Oh my...

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you LOL'd. Better than crying and having a panic attack, which is what I almost did the first time I saw the nutcracker.

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  3. If you don't "accidentally" break it, it will multiply and have babies and kill you in your sleep. Probably.

    Didn't that TImer thing have a song about cheese too?

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    Replies
    1. Don't think I haven't already thought about that. The Timer did sing about cheese cubes. And also about freezing orange juice in ice cube trays and sticking a toothpick in it and then he sang a horrifying song about "Sunshine on a stick."

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    2. "I hanker for a hunk-a, a slab, a slice, a chunk-a. I hanker for a hunk of cheese. Yahoo!"

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  4. hahhahah- that is one ugly fucking jug.

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  5. I think I'm going to have nightmares tonight...

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    Replies
    1. I know you're joking. But I really have had some bad dreams about it.

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  6. Twenty years. You must keep it for twenty years. By that time...the seashell will have two eyes...

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    Replies
    1. There is no way in hell I'm keeping that thing for twenty years.

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  7. That jug is AWESOME. I do love odd things.

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    Replies
    1. You say that from across an ocean. I bet you wouldn't be such a big talker if you were on this side of the Atlantic.

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  8. I LOVE it.
    I forgot about the young shell! One of my favorites!

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    Replies
    1. I am SO GLAD you love it... So glad...

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  9. The jug looks like a cross between a Blue Meanie and Frank, the terrifying bunny man from Donnie Darko.

    *shudders*

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  10. Kira says some of the funniest shit I've ever heard (read?) from a minor's mouth. And that nutcracker made me laugh out loud.

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