Tomorrow will be better, (I hope)

You are going to be so sorry you read this post, I'm warning you right now. It's about my houseplants, for god's sake. I'm not kidding, scroll down and look, there are pictures. STOP READING THIS.

Okay, you asked for it. Don't say I didn't warn you. I got my plants ready for winter yesterday. I took the ones that were outside that I think can continue to "flourish?" indoors for the winter and now my house looks like a jungle of not-exactly-healthy plants, but they seem to have strong survival skills, having lived months and sometimes years in my care, so the least I can do is not let them freeze.

This one is a hibiscus that I bought a few years ago because it had gorgeous orange blossoms. It is not looking its best right now. I should probably cut it back, but are you supposed to do that in the spring? I don't know. This plant is a drama queen. If I move anywhere but where it is right now (actually it would prefer to be in front of the closet door instead of next to it), all the leaves turn yellow within a few days and fall off. And it hasn't bloomed in a long time. If it was a person it would be an impossible bitch. But it lives on despite its touchiness.

This is a Jerusalem Cherry bush? tree? My mom gave it to me last year for my birthday and I had it outside all summer. The leaves used to be really dark green, but now they are pale green and looking sickly, but it has lots of nice fruit. I aerated the soil today and fed it so hopefully it will start looking better. FYI: Jerusalem cherries look delicious but they are poisonous. I know, I didn't believe it either, so I tasted one once and my mouth got very tingly and then numb.

This is a rubber plant that I got in college. You had one too? No kidding! Everyone did! Is yours still alive though? Mine is still hanging on by a thread. It actually died last year so I cut it way back and then some leaves started sprouting again. I should put it out of its misery but I just can't make myself do it.

Why are you still reading? I can't believe I'm still writing this. It was either write about my plants or my longing for menopause so count yourself lucky I went the boring route instead of the horrifying-you-with-intimate-personal-details-about-my-uterus-that-nobody-wants-to-know route.