Tuesday, May 24, 2011


This morning I got on the scale after a week of pre-rapture gorging, and I lost 2.5 pounds.  How in the heck did that happen?  When I'm being really strict and starving myself, I can't seem to lose more than a half a pound a week, if any; and for the last several weeks I've been gaining and losing the same two pounds (the two pounds BEFORE the loss of the pre-rapture pounds.) 

At first I was really excited, but now I'm thinking maybe my soul did get raptured and that it weighed 2.5 pounds.  So now I'm ten sticks of butter thinner, but soulless.  Fair trade?  I'm not sure.  You'd think a soul would be worth more than 2.5 pounds.  The funny part is, if that's what really happened, I don't feel any different without a soul.  I don't feel like going on a murder rampage (any more than usual), I don't feel like committing any of the seven deadly sins (that's a lie), or breaking any commandments except 3,4, 8, 9, and 10.  But that's also not different than pre-rapture Sarah.  I don't feel any different except my jeans are slightly looser, I know I no longer have a soul, and I know that a soul weighs the same as ten sticks of butter.  About the same as a brain.  Hey, I just thought of something... maybe I lost my brain in the rapture. Crap.


  1. No freaking fair. I've stopped drinking soda and I'm still gaining weight.

  2. You are so funny!
    I feel different since the R-Day...
    I think only half of my soul is gone!


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