Saturday, March 7, 2009

GOOP for the not-so-fabulous

My aunt brought to my attention the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow has a website called GOOP. I kind of like Gwyneth Paltrow, but she is a little bit out of touch with the reality of 99.9999999999% of the rest of the planet's inhabitants. This website is obviously for the 14 people in her fabulous category.

The site has six categories of ideas for us called "Make, Go, Get, Do, Be, See". Ideas from Gwynnie for us. The MAKE is, obviously, things you can make. SHE went to world-renown chef Mario Batali's house for dinner along with Emeril Lagassi and they had something that Mario made in his chef kitchen and guess what? It was delicious! So, what are YOU going to make? For lunch today I'M going to put margarine on some Ritz crackers and eat them over the sink.

The GO is places you should go. This week she tells us to go to Paris because, you know what? Paris is pretty darn nice.

The DO is things you should do. This week she features a book called Spent written by her doctor about how people are tired before they even get up in the morning and things you can do to overcome this problem, like practicing ubuntu. “Ubuntu” is an African term that means what makes us human is the humanity we show each other. It’s a worldview that sees humanity as a web of family rather than a mass of individuals. When you relate in this way, you feel connected, energized and have a sense of abundance.

What a practical idea! All you moms of young children out there should be doing this, and then you wouldn't be so tired, because thinking of the assholes that steal your parking space as "family" rather than "wastes-of-skin" will make you more energized in the morning after you've been up all night with cranky children. I can totally see how that would work.

The GET is things you should purchase. The latest installment is gift giving ideas. I have to hand this one to Gwyneth, most of the gift ideas she has are under $100. But they are things NOBODY needs, wants or ever even thought of. They are things like $50 personalized notebooks and the book Debrett's Guide to Modern Manners. Just TRY to give that to someone and convince them that it isn't a "fuck you" gift. LOL Gwynnie!

The BE is Gwyneth's thoughts on parenting. She gives us fabulous tips on how to just BE with our children. Apparently Gwyneth's daughter, Apple, is like a radio picking up on Gwyn's feelings and reflecting them back for her. She tells us to simply "talk" to our children about things. Perhaps during the day, perhaps at bedtime. Brilliant.

Last is the SEE section. Things you should see to keep you from being a total reclusive hick. This month it is books you should read in the winter. Gwynnie's fave authors? Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. A little light reading for you. I wonder if she reads them in the original Russian. Probably.


  1. I can't stop laughing. I went to her sight just the other day and felt very similar.

  2. ha!

    I love how celebrities try to relate to the average Joe. Meredith Viera (who probably makes $5 million a year) was on Conan or Leno or something saying how she was really inspired by Michelle Obama and how you don't have to spend a lot of money to look nice and so for this late night talk show appearance she bought a dress off the rack and it was ONLY $125.00! Can you imagine?! So Cheap!

    I was like, you sucker, most women watching this show probably only spent that kind of money on their WEDDING DRESS.

  3. I think my wedding dress was 24 dollars. It was from Target.

  4. I laughed so hard about the crackers over the sink. I subscribe to it on email. she's a little out of touch. I think Michelle Obama wearing clothes from J Crew and having furniture from Pottery Barn is funny too. Those are my "high end" "never going to own" but woud love to stores. By the way, didn't she have furniture in her last home? And doesn't the white house come fully furnished and even have shitloads of things in storage? Not that I don't think she should have things, just don't brag your being cheap about it when you really aren't. Her kids play on a $7,000 playset. Regular kids lick the rust off the nails from the swingset the people that used to live in the house in the 70's put up. lol.

  5. Oh, Kasey, I love you, you are SO funny! "Lick the rust off the nails...." I'm still laughing.

  6. Wow, you are BRAVE actually reading that much of GOOP. I could only manage to skim through an entry before losing my mind.

    I did NOT know about the Mario Batalli connection. Seriously? Probably no one else would agree to host her. I know Ina Garten wouldn't have given her a second of her time - Ina's too awesome!


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