Monday, May 10, 2010


I made myself a turkey for Mother's Day because if I didn't Mitch would have brought home KFC because he says, "The ladies love the bucket," but this lady thinks the bucket is pretty gross.  So I made a turkey that I got before Thanksgiving last year in case we didn't get invited anywhere.  That sucker took a week to thaw.  It was frozen SOLID for days.  I finally had to take it out of the fridge and let it thaw on the counter, which according to "experts" is a no-no, but come on, thaw already!

I'm a pretty good turkey maker, and this bird was beautiful.  Golden brown, crispy skin, delicious.  However, if it could have talked, this is what it would have said:
But of course it couldn't talk because it was beheaded, then frozen for 7 months, then dessicated in my oven.  It was surely dead.  It can only be eaten now on sandwiches with globs of mayonnaise to rehydrate it enough so that a person can safely eat it without having all their bodily fluids absorbed.  Still, it was better than the bucket. 

Remember when I said I was a pretty good turkey maker?  It's true, but one time I had a big family dinner and made a turkey.  It was beautiful and delicious and after the meal my dad said, "That was a really good turkey.  You did a nice job on that one!" and I was just making conversation and replied, "I know, it was pretty good, and I'm glad because boy, did it stink when I took it out of the package."

I actually saw my dad turn green.  He was a little peeved that I shared that with him.  I still think, what's the big deal?  It's a dead bird, of course it's going to stink.  You have to expect that.  If that grosses you out it's time to think about becoming a vegetarian because if you saw a movie of the life and times of that delicious turkey you would not be hungry for anything for a long long time.  However, even taking for granted that dead birds are going to stink, that particular dead bird REALLY stunk.  It was especially delicious when it was cooked though, so I think turkeys must be like cheese, the stinkier, the better. 

What did you do for Mother's day?  Other than making and eating turkey I sat in the sun and read a book and didn't do much else.  It was a pretty good day!


  1. I think that salmonella is just a fear tactic. Totally overrated. Like global warming and Jay Leno.

  2. I think if you cook it long enough, you'll be fine.

    If not, well you couldn't have asked for a easier way to lose 5 lbs in about 24 hours.

    I alway end up thawing my turkey in a sink full of warm water. Another supposed "no no".

    I hate when people say "unthaw". Is that even a word?

  3. Was it vacuum-sealed in plastic? Sometimes stuff that comes out of that stinks -- it even warns you about it on the package. So I say no worries.

  4. It was vacuum sealed. I didn't know it said that on the package because I never read the packages.

    Kristina, HI! I love your blog.

    I live on the edge with my iffy poultry.

  5. I'm with Kristina P. Excellent response.

    My husband cooked me breakfast and dinner, so I can't complain. We're big about cooking for one another for celebrations of any sort at my house.

    Glad you didn't have to resort to the bucket!

  6. UPDATE: I made a pasta salad with the remaining turkey and it is FANTASTIC!


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