Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Mitch's Animal Knowledge
1. Border collies can run 27 miles per hour. Tops.
2. Raccoons tie sloppy knots.
3. A pigeon can fly into the window of a car going 60 miles per hour.
4. If a squirrel has a choice between living in nature and living in a lunch box, it will choose the lunch box.
5. If a bird has a choice between flying and walking, it will walk.
6. Good raccoon names: Smokey and Bandit.
7. Dogs can climb plum trees.
8. Dogs love plums.
9. The best way to catch a bat in your house is with two paper plates.
10. If one of your kids leaves a coonskin hat under your bed, and you see it and and think it might be an animal, don't touch it. Make your wife do it.
11. The best weapon against bears in the long grass: canoe paddle.