Thursday, March 11, 2010

Update on my teeth that you forgot to ask for

I just realized that I had my oral surgery consultation and I never updated the blog about how it went. I guess you all FORGOT TO ASK about it, or maybe you were just being polite, because I know everyone loves to hear about other people's disgusting maladies.

You know how my doctor told me a few years ago that I'm approaching middle age (bitch) and I should start to take preventative measures against old-lady problems like osteoporosis? (she did) She told me I need to take a daily calcium/vitamin D supplement, so for about two years I have been faithfully doing just that. Guess what? It's working! My bones are harder and denser than anyone could ever expect bones to be even though I drink gallons of Diet Coke which supposedly weakens bones with all the delicious acid. That's why I weigh so much, dense bones. But, there's a down-side to being the anti-osteoporosis poster gal, and that is that my bone-impacted teeth will have to be chipped out of my rock-like jaw, and I can expect extensive swelling and pain after surgery! Isn't that fucking fantastic?

My doctor is kind of cute which is also bad because now, on top of being completely freaked out by the entire ordeal, I have to be embarrassed that a handsome man is going to be smelling my infected tooth sockets. I bet that's going to be really stinky.

Oh, and the tiny bits of the teeth that have popped through the gums have cavities, so if I were to just leave them in, eventually I would have to get the cavities fixed or look forward to root canals.

Life is SWEET these days!


  1. You do realize that this dental procedure is the answer to your diet plan. Pretty hard to eat with all that swelling and pain. Plus, you'll be on so much vicodin that you won't even realize that you're starving.

    I'm so jealous. (no, not really)

  2. Yikes woman! Well, at least you know you won't develop a hump like my great grandma did (from osteoporosis).

  3. Ouch! You can't win for losing, can you. Bless your heart!

  4. Thanks for the support, you guys! DG, I love your blog. I won't develop a bone hump (I hope), and even if I did you wouldn't be able to see it under the genetic hump of fat that collects on the upper backs of all the ladies in our family.

    Anne, I'm really counting on not eating after surgery, but the doc said not to count on that because most people get hungry enough to eat within a day. I'm sure I'll be one of those people.

  5. When are you having your work done?

  6. I'm having the work done as soon as I work up enough nerve to make the appointment. I'm really scared of having it done.

  7. Your poor thing. Dental work is the WORST.

    I'm hoping that I got my grandmother's teeth - 92 and never a cavity and no dental work. I have about three fillings. The last time I went, there was some talk about future problems with receding gums, so now I'm afraid. Very afraid.

    Make sure to let us know how it goes... in case we forget to ask.

  8. Dana McKibbage WaldbilligMarch 12, 2010 at 9:36 PM

    Do you want me to make the call for you? It'll be just fine. Andy says "nothing to it". He had his out last year and he lived to tell about it. He went to the same office you're going. He didn't have the hot guy though. You'll need a driver; let me know if I can do anything to help!


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