Friday, December 17, 2010

Live-Blogging Oprah (You go, girl!)


I was flipping through the channels a few minutes ago and I came across Oprah and I stopped because I couldn't figure out what she was wearing.  It looked like a black dress with a tiny yellow lace-up bodice, and I said,  "Um, excuse me, Oprah, that's butt ugly." While I was watching and trying to figure out what would possess her to wear that because she usually looks so nice; she ripped it off and had a beautiful, sparkly, Mrs. Roper-like red dress/robe on underneath and she announced that it was her FAVORITE THINGS SHOW!!!! (you know how she does it) and the people in the audience all went totally bonkers.

The people in the audience were specially chosen because of something special they did that is generous or something, which makes me wonder why they are so surprised (screaming, crying, having seizure like reactions to everything Oprah says) that it's the favorite things episode. Hey Peeps, did you not think it was strange that Oprah sent you tickets to one of her shows in December after you saved a million baby puppies from certain molestation and death from the very same organized group of pedophiles that was behind the whole make-your-profile-picture-a-cartoon-so-it's-somehow-easier-for-us-to-streamline-and-increase-our-molesting? (Come on, people, pedophiles are lots of things, but they are not that organized.)

I love/hate this episode.  I love it because I love pretending that I'm there getting all that crap, and I hate it because I never actually am there getting all that crap because a) I'm not particularly Oprah-noticingly generous and b) I have never even thought about going to see a live Oprah show.  I feel the same way about lottery winners.  I never buy lottery tickets, but I get insanely jealous of lottery winners.  These are her favorite things this year:

Dual time-zone diamond watch $2000
Tori tote bag $275
Tori shoes $195
Nikon camera $699
Ralph Lauren cashmere sweater $498
Cashmere throw
Judith Ripka earrings $525
Andre Walker hair products $65
18 Candles @ $55 each
Panini press $99
Ceramic knife $75
Macaroni and cheese (yeah, that's right, macaroni and cheese)
Bakers Edge brownie pan $35
Brownie Mix.  She never said how much it cost.  I would guess $5
Lasagne pan $35
Weight loss book (What are you trying to say? Not cool, Ope.) $
Jayzees book - Decoded (???) Why would anyone want that?
5 year Netflix subscription
Sony 3D glasses and TVs $3600
Blue Ray Player and 3 movies - micro loans $100 gift card
Container store custom closet $1000
Season 25 T-shirt from the O store (yeah, that's right, I said the O store) $38
Work out pants $98
4 pairs of work-out shoes @ $85
Giant inflatable ship (oh, no, my mistake, it's a cruise.  Oprah fooled me with her fantastic presentational skills) 7 day Caribbean cruise

I was going to add it all up, but she didn't give prices for every single thing.  Just know that it is well over $10,000.  That's a lot of crap.

Then at the end of the show she said she had a surprise guest there to make sure the audience was having a great time and could we GUESS WHO IT IS????  Mitch, who was watching with me, (and seriously messing with my live-blogging mojo) screamed out, "HAMID KARZAI!"  He was wrong, it was the Black-Eyed Peas.  Mitch said he was watching it because he finds the total over-reaction of the audience entertaining.  He said he can't believe I don't think it's funny and kind of scary how crazy the audience is.  He said, "Would you be jumping around like that and screaming?"  "Um, YES," is what I said, "Who wouldn't?"  Apparently Mitch wouldn't.  He said, "I'd be quietly appreciative like a person should be, not bouncing around like a mental case."


I did learn something on that episode.  I never heard of before.  You can log on, and donate a small amount (or large amount) of money as micro-loans to people around the world who need the money.  It is a great thing to do, so check it out!


  1. my mum made a donation/loan to kiva. she was psyched about it.

    i know what you mean about the lotto/O show. i'm like that should me ME!!

    oh, do you LOVE when people win 367 ZILLION dollars and they're all "oh, i'm going to keep working." YEAH, for like, 10 seconds and then you're going to be like PEACE OUT, BITCHES, I AM A GAZILLIONAIRE

  2. Wouldn't you love to be in the audience on the day when she does all those giveaways! I'd be jumping up and down and screaming, too!

  3. I never thought I'd put these particular words together but those pedophile comments are quite hilarious.

  4. I wonder if some of those people yard sale or pawn some items? Then buy booze to get orphaned puppies drunk...

  5. I saw part of the show on my way out to my BF's family Christmas.

    People just react ridiculously. Like, after the first few things, guess what? There will be more, and there will be something even bigger at the end!

    Sure you would be excited, but I feel embarassed for the people and wonder if they are somehow coached (man, I am SOOOO jaded).


    Also? is awesome. My first loan appears to not be being repaid at all, but the second one just started.

    It's great because it gives people access to funds who would be turned away from the big banks. They do charge a lot of interest, though, so I just hope the recipients are well educated on the process and costs before entering into agreements with Kiva's 3rd party lenders.

    Anyway, I still think it is a good idea. And the infrastructure to get loan repayment money is insane (loaners going village to village for days on end to find people - not like here with collections agencies coming to the front door via highway).

    I need to stop rambling.

    And thanks for your sweet comment on the blog. I don't have an accent, I swear!! Jess does!! Not me! (lol)


I would love your comments.