Dear Man In The Blue Dodge Neon On I35,

I know I pulled into the left lane in front of you, but when I did it you were miles behind me and I had to do it because someone was merging onto the freeway and I had to move or get crashed into. I thought the fact that you raced up behind me, tailgated me, and then made rude hand gestures impolite and unnecessary because I was going to move back to the right lane as soon as safely possible. When I saw you having a temper tantrum, I decided not to move back to the right lane and took the opportunity to trap you behind a school bus for a few miles and pretended I didn't see you freaking out next to me. At the time it was fun, but now that I think about it, maybe you had an emergency or had to go to the bathroom or something. If that was the case I guess next time you shouldn't be so impatient and rude.