Saturday, April 4, 2009

Living on the edge

My kids are gone for spring break for the week! They went to Tijuana with their friends. Just kidding. They are at my parents. So what am I going to do with myself? The possibilities are endless. I want to do something nuts, crazy, dangerous and reckless. Something I could potentially get arrested for. Like .... I don't even know what. Any ideas? I do have some plans. I am going to work on Tuesday, I have to clean the house, I'm going to have a sleepover with my Grandma at her assisted living place (and we're going to watch Twilight), and I have to update my resume and pay bills. None of those things have much getting-arrested potential (I don't think). I've been out of the living-dangerously routine for a LONG time and I need some fresh ideas.
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6 comments:

  1. Carla FowlerApril 4, 2009 at 8:26 PM

    Come visit your long lost friend Carla in Northern NY. I'm sure we could find some trouble to get into...

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  2. kaseyApril 5, 2009 at 1:22 AM

    I think your Grandma is going to love Twilight. My mom would call that main guy a "walking dream boat". And for some reason I am assuming your Grandma has the same sort of vocabulary for some reason.

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  3. kaseyApril 5, 2009 at 1:23 AM

    for some reason, for some reason. redundantly redundant.

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  4. JaredApril 5, 2009 at 2:35 AM

    Here's a start - any of these ideas should easily fill up the empty time you might have during the week. Feel free to mix and match.

    1. Stalk and kill a hobo a la "The Most Dangerous Game".
    2. Found a religion.
    3. Initiate a frivolous lawsuit.
    4. Impersonate a police officer (with the aim of doing a better job).
    5. Learn how to make black powder (if you don't already know how).
    6. Shave your head.
    7. Shave someone else's head.
    8. Make ice cream with liquid nitrogen.
    9. Study witchcraft.
    10. Spend an entire afternoon grabbing and smashing the mobile phones of all the people you see using them in a checkout line. If you're confronted, make low burbling chainsaw noises with your mouth and throat while doing a sort of spastic dance to and fro in front of the irate ex-owner of the phone (remember, the arms really *sell* any such dance). Repeat as necessary.

    Good luck with the week!

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  5. Sarah April 5, 2009 at 8:35 AM

    Thank you Jared, EXCELLENT ideas! I will consider this my "to-do" list!

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  6. MaryApril 5, 2009 at 8:02 PM

    Hi Sarah! Your blog reminds me a little bit of Annie Lamott's book OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS. I think you would like it if you haven't already read it.

    Hoping to see you on Wednesday or Thursday. Hey -- you and your aunt could come for beer on Wednesday night!

    Mary (first cousin once removed. Better: Uncle Ed's daughter.)

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I would love your comments.

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