Sunday, June 14, 2009

20 minutes in the bathroom after midnight

I was really tired last night but I was having so much fun playing with my new iPod and watching TV that I stayed up past midnight. After midnight my perception of time changes so much that I find myself spending lots of time doing stupid stuff. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and thought it would be a good idea to take a picture of my mowing injury:

On the riding lawn mower I almost got strangled by the birch tree, like I do every time I mow, but at the last second I put my head down and the branches scraped my chin instead of my neck. It really hurt and I thought I'd have a big scab, but it's just these little scrapes.

Why did I think it was a good idea to take a pic of the mowing injury? I don't know. I looked at the picture and saw how perfectly in focus the enormous pores on my face were and I decided I wasn't leaving the bathroom until I got a good picture of myself.

Yikes! That's not it. There's a lot of face behind that face! And the hair, my god, the hair! It was like I was looking at myself for the first time in days. Try again:

Nope, not good. Not at all. Try something new:

That's a good picture!... Of the camera! More ideas were forming. Teeth were not getting brushed.

That's a little better, but my hair still looks like an ill-fitting toupee. The flash looks like a ball of light. Almost like a ghost! ...More ideas forming.

This is me practicing my acting skills and not brushing my teeth. I call this one "Surprise!"

I call this one "Oh my god, that spirit, that beautiful spirit is almost letting me touch it!"

I call this one: "What's it doing! What's it doing!"

I call this one: "OW! Let go of my goddamn hand!"

I call this one: "Nice spirit, nice... good spirit. shhh, calm spirit."

Then I brushed my teeth and went to bed.


  1. Lord Farquad called he wants his hair back:-) I think maybe you should go to bed earlier.

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  3. By the time I got to the final picture, I literally had tears streaming down my face...


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