Today I noticed a(nother) portion of Kira's behavior that, as her mother, has gotten away from me. She is a master negotiator. She's quick, unemotional and totally devious. Here's our conversation as we were running errands today:
Kira: I think we should go to Dairy Queen for a cone.
Me: Why would we do that?
Kira: It would be good, you know you want one.
Me: I don't think-
Kira: What do I have to give you to get you to go?
Me: (thinking) You have to wear pigtails on the first day of school. (I LOVE pigtails! She hates them.)
Kira: You know I hate pigtails. They look like antlers. Okay, the second day, not the first day, and for pigtails I get a blizzard.
Me: No, the first day, but I'll make them toward the back and low. And no blizzard, you can get a dipped cone instead of a plain one.
Kira: Okay, toward the back and really low, but if I agree to this, I get a medium blizzard, any kind I want.
Me: (thinking)
Kira: You know you love pigtails.
Me: No, how about for pigtails you get a small blizzard?
Kira: Fine. But I want Oreo Cookie Jar flavored.
Me: Fine.
The funny thing is that she had me feeling good about this negotiation. I felt like I won, but I didn't even want to go to Dairy Queen in the first place and not only did we go, but she got a blizzard out of it! And all I get is a couple lame "toward the back and low" pigtails. How did she do this to me?
Other things she's gotten me to agree to lately with her wheeling and dealing: Paying her $5 for not breaking a pot she made for one whole day (why would I even care about that?), Paying her $5 for not getting her shirt stained all day (In my defense, I can't lose that one), Getting me to agree to let her spend her $2 at Walmart on ANYTHING she wants (again, it's $2, what's she going to get? Fish, that's what. You can get a ridiculous amount of goldfish for $2.) etc. etc. etc. Sam's getting stronger than me, and Kira's getting smarter than me. Over the next 10 years motherhood is going to chew me up and spit me out and I'll be a worthless hull by the time I'm 50.
As we were finishing our blizzards, she said, "What would happen to me if I don't wear the pigtails now?"
Did I mention that I'm happy she starts school tomorrow?
"Over the next 10 years motherhood is going to chew me up and spit me out and I'll be a worthless hull by the time I'm 50."
ReplyDeleteYes. It will.
Signed: One who's been there.
(Perfect photo, by the way.)