Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Adding some Sizzle!

I just googled "blog post ideas" because I'm too lazy to think of something to write all on my own.  I came across a site that said, "101 great blog posting ideas that will make your blog sizzle!"  I'm not sure I want my blog to start sizzling, but I'm going to try out number seven: "take an alternate position."

This, of course, involves me having to think about some topic that everyone agrees on and then taking the opposite position.  What could that topic be?  My first idea was to write about why Winnie the Pooh and Piglet are such dicks because they live in huge mansion trees all alone, offering their hospitality to one another on the occasional blustery day, meanwhile their clinically depressed friend Eeyore is trying his mightiest to live under a bunch of propped up sticks in the middle of the Hundred Acre Wood.  I have actually been thinking about this a lot since reading a post on The Sassy Curmudgeon's blog that brought this controversy to my attention.  But I reject this as a writing idea for today because when you think about it, who is going to disagree that Pooh and Piglet are assholes when you think about them in the context of Eeyore?  Nobody, that's who.


Oh yeah, Eeyore's birthday is also on Christmas. Let's name all the dicks in the Eeyore controversy:

1. Pooh
2.  Piglet
3.  Christopher Robin (take care of your toys equally, you racist.)
4.  Everyone else in the Hundred Acre Wood who calls himself Eeyore's friend.
5.  The person on photobucket (where I stole this picture) who thought a sad picture of Eeyore, alone on his birthday/Christmas, in his stick house would make a good homemade birthday card for someone.
6.  A.A. Milne

So then I thought I'd try to take this position:  Mel Gibson is NOT mean and crazy.  That's topical, and everyone who has listened to his phone calls to his lucky lucky girlfriend obviously thinks he's mean and crazy, but try as I might, I can't find one single thing that would point to him not being crazy.  He's going to kill someone and he scares the crap out of me to the point where last night I had a low-grade nightmare about running into him at the grocery store.  Yikes.  (Let me just give you this little tip:  if your run into Mel in the grocery store and you both reach for the same package of string cheese, just let him have it. It's not worth the fight.)

Am I sizzling yet?

No, I didn't think so.  I'm too lazy to post anything sizzling today.

5 comments:

  1. I don't know about sizzling, but your post made me laugh out loud. I always felt bad for poor Eeyore, and got mad at the others for not helping him out more.

    My favorite part of the Mel Gibson debacle is that someone commented on Facebook, "I guess he really does know what a woman wants." Then I realized that Mel Gibson is the best actor in the world. He pulled off sweet, sensitive guy in that movie. He's like the Meryl Streep of psychopaths!

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  2. Dana McKibbage WaldbilligJuly 14, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    I'm actually quite devastated by the Mel Gibson recordings. I kinda liked this guy at one point! ("Freedom!!!!!!") I was equally devastated when Tom jumped up on Oprah's couch, Christian verbally raped that poor DP, and Kanye grabbed Taylor's mic at the Grammy's. Actors/musicians are the modern-day equivelant of the court jesters of the Middle Ages. They get paid to amuse us. I have to admit I had a smile on my face as I listened to the Mel Gibson recordings! In the court of public opinion, he's toast. I cannot wait to hear Kathy Griffin's stand-up bit!! Ergo, Mel Gibson is not mean and crazy; he's just doing his job.

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  3. Listen sugartits, that's Mel's stringcheese.

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  4. DG - Get out of my head!!! Ahhhh!!!

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  5. oh, and this post right here is why you are a blog humor award winner.
    I'm getting t shirts made for you, me and DG: "just let Mel have the cheese."

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