This, of course, involves me having to think about some topic that everyone agrees on and then taking the opposite position. What could that topic be? My first idea was to write about why Winnie the Pooh and Piglet are such dicks because they live in huge mansion trees all alone, offering their hospitality to one another on the occasional blustery day, meanwhile their clinically depressed friend Eeyore is trying his mightiest to live under a bunch of propped up sticks in the middle of the Hundred Acre Wood. I have actually been thinking about this a lot since reading a post on The Sassy Curmudgeon's blog that brought this controversy to my attention. But I reject this as a writing idea for today because when you think about it, who is going to disagree that Pooh and Piglet are assholes when you think about them in the context of Eeyore? Nobody, that's who.
Oh yeah, Eeyore's birthday is also on Christmas. Let's name all the dicks in the Eeyore controversy:
3. Christopher Robin (take care of your toys equally, you racist.)
4. Everyone else in the Hundred Acre Wood who calls himself Eeyore's friend.
5. The person on photobucket (where I stole this picture) who thought a sad picture of Eeyore, alone on his birthday/Christmas, in his stick house would make a good homemade birthday card for someone.
6. A.A. Milne
So then I thought I'd try to take this position: Mel Gibson is NOT mean and crazy. That's topical, and everyone who has listened to his phone calls to his lucky lucky girlfriend obviously thinks he's mean and crazy, but try as I might, I can't find one single thing that would point to him not being crazy. He's going to kill someone and he scares the crap out of me to the point where last night I had a low-grade nightmare about running into him at the grocery store. Yikes. (Let me just give you this little tip: if your run into Mel in the grocery store and you both reach for the same package of string cheese, just let him have it. It's not worth the fight.)
Am I sizzling yet?
No, I didn't think so. I'm too lazy to post anything sizzling today.