Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kids, Summer, blah blah blah

I'm back home from my weekend at the lake.  I was planning on bringing the kids back with me, but they begged to stay there and horn in on their grandparent's vacation time.  My MIL half-heartedly said, "We like having them here, you can leave them if you want," instead of,  "Fuck no, take them with you NOW!" so I left them there.  Bluff offered; bluff called.  Checkmate, Julie, check and mate.

I remembered my camera and took some pictures.

This is Kira with her flippers on.  She never takes them off.  She can really move in the water and on land with them on.  I took some movies that are HILARIOUS, but I haven't been able to get them to play on my computer so I have to try to fix it.  Then maybe I'll post one.

The kids caught two small-mouth bass off the dock and put them in a cooler full of water to stew for the day.  One died and then a million tiny bugs came off of it.  Sea lice? Plankton?  I'll have to google it.

This is my baby niece.  She's 18 months old and the bossiest person I know. She kept crawling in and out of the boat and didn't want to do anything else, so her poor mother had to hover over her while she got in the boat, out of the boat, in the boat, out of the boat.  Somebody said, "I wonder why babies like to go back and forth like that?" and Amy said, "Because babies are jerks."

The little boss actually hugged me and gave me a few painful kisses on this visit.  (Someone should teach her that there are no teeth involved in kisses.) Since she gets almost everything she wants, I've come up with a few rules to live by that I'm going to start employing in my everyday life so I can get everything I want too. 

How to get what you want, according to my niece, Sid: 

1.  If someone does something you don't like, arch your back and scream NOOOOOOO!!!!

2.  If you eat a food you don't like, make a dramatic show of your distaste and let the food drop out of your mouth onto your plate, and then throw the remaining offending food on the floor.

3.  If you see a cute boy, show him your admiration by doing the following:  a) Throw yourself face first into furniture, hard enough so you bounce back and fall on the floor. Repeat.  b) Get his attention, then dramatically collapse to the floor and laugh maniacally.  c) Throw things at him. d) Run laps around the room at your top speed and squeal. d) When he least expects it, launch yourself into his lap.

4.  If someone is talking to you about something you don't want to hear, bend over at the waist and pretend to be interested in something on the floor until they leave.

5.  If you're hot, get naked.

I'll let you know how it goes.


  1. How is this different from the way you usually act?

  2. You just wait until I come and visit you. You will be tired. Tired of me, and just plain tired.


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