Nicknames

Do you have a nickname? I think nicknames are hilarious.  Sometimes.  Sometimes they aren't very inspired, but sometimes they are and they crack me up.  It might be funny because of how unlike it is to the person it is naming. For example, my favorite Uncle who we occasionally call "T-bone."  You see, he's not your stereotypical T-bone; all tough, beef-loving, and motorcycle riding;  (he was in an accordion marching band when he was little) and that's why it's funny!  I looked on the internet for funny nicknames and not many of the ones I saw were all that funny except someone wrote in and said he knew someone named "Summer Teeth" but didn't know why he was called that.  For some reason that one just tickles me. 

My sister Beth tells me most of the nicknames I know because she works in a paper mill and a lot of the people she works with have nicknames. She says that a lot of the people don't know about their nicknames because they are usually not very flattering and people don't dare say them to their face, although some people embrace their unflattering nicknames, like a guy she knows named "Pignuts."  I guess that is the only name some people know him by and he's apparently okay with that.  I am torn between wanting and not wanting to know the origin of that particular name.  Another testicle-based nickname she told me about is a guy they call "Left Testicle" because his real name sounds vaguely like "left testicle" in that it has the same number of syllables.  (Hey, so does mine...crap) She knows another guy that they called "High Pockets" because he wears his pants really high.  I think that might be my favorite one because it is so funny in its un-creativeness.  They only call him High Pockets behind his back.   Apparently High Pockets is a little touchy and wouldn't like to be called High Pockets. 

Mitch knew a guy in high school that they called "Water Baby" because he had a big head.   Mitch also worked construction for a while and one of the guys on his crew was called "Skin."  Isn't that disgusting?  Just Skin as in "Hey Skin, take that heroin needle out from between your toes and brace this ladder for me."

There was a mean kid in middle school who was seemingly bulletproof and would relentlessly pick on everyone until they cried and one day he did it to one of my friends and she was ticked off and upset and in a fit of pure genius screamed, "SHUT UP WESSSSSSSSSSS!" as in Wesson Oil because he was kind of greasy.  From then on whenever he'd get mean to anyone, a quiet hissing would start, "wesssss.... wessssss... wessssss... wessssss.... WESSSSSSSS!"  He eventually stopped being such a bastard.  

What are your favorite nicknames?  I'm going to start a nickname page on the blog (see the buttons under the title), so give me some good ones.