Friday, August 6, 2010


Do you have a nickname? I think nicknames are hilarious.  Sometimes.  Sometimes they aren't very inspired, but sometimes they are and they crack me up.  It might be funny because of how unlike it is to the person it is naming. For example, my favorite Uncle who we occasionally call "T-bone."  You see, he's not your stereotypical T-bone; all tough, beef-loving, and motorcycle riding;  (he was in an accordion marching band when he was little) and that's why it's funny!  I looked on the internet for funny nicknames and not many of the ones I saw were all that funny except someone wrote in and said he knew someone named "Summer Teeth" but didn't know why he was called that.  For some reason that one just tickles me. 

My sister Beth tells me most of the nicknames I know because she works in a paper mill and a lot of the people she works with have nicknames. She says that a lot of the people don't know about their nicknames because they are usually not very flattering and people don't dare say them to their face, although some people embrace their unflattering nicknames, like a guy she knows named "Pignuts."  I guess that is the only name some people know him by and he's apparently okay with that.  I am torn between wanting and not wanting to know the origin of that particular name.  Another testicle-based nickname she told me about is a guy they call "Left Testicle" because his real name sounds vaguely like "left testicle" in that it has the same number of syllables.  (Hey, so does mine...crap) She knows another guy that they called "High Pockets" because he wears his pants really high.  I think that might be my favorite one because it is so funny in its un-creativeness.  They only call him High Pockets behind his back.   Apparently High Pockets is a little touchy and wouldn't like to be called High Pockets. 

Mitch knew a guy in high school that they called "Water Baby" because he had a big head.   Mitch also worked construction for a while and one of the guys on his crew was called "Skin."  Isn't that disgusting?  Just Skin as in "Hey Skin, take that heroin needle out from between your toes and brace this ladder for me."

There was a mean kid in middle school who was seemingly bulletproof and would relentlessly pick on everyone until they cried and one day he did it to one of my friends and she was ticked off and upset and in a fit of pure genius screamed, "SHUT UP WESSSSSSSSSSS!" as in Wesson Oil because he was kind of greasy.  From then on whenever he'd get mean to anyone, a quiet hissing would start, "wesssss.... wessssss... wessssss... wessssss.... WESSSSSSSS!"  He eventually stopped being such a bastard.  

What are your favorite nicknames?  I'm going to start a nickname page on the blog (see the buttons under the title), so give me some good ones.


  1. Wess's nickname is so good that I can't even remember his real name.

  2. We have a PorkChop, MadDog, T-Man, Bologna, and of course, Missy Prissy! LOL

  3. My crazy college boyfriend was called "mad dog" by everyone that knew him. I'd run into ppl and they'd ask, "so, weekend plans ? goin' out with madddog?"

    Yah. good times.

    on the other hand, maddog had a friend who had the craziest girlfriend, and we'd all call her "crazy mary." so, he'd hear, "so, how's crazy mary?"

  4. Summer Teeth= Some-r THERE, Some-r GONE

    I love that phrase!

  5. Just tonight at the Lodge I met somebody named "Susie Six-Pack". Apparently back in 1989, she passed out after 6 beers. The name stuck.

    I had an old friend who told me the story of a kid in his high school who accidentally pooped a trail down the hallway into the bathroom. His new name?


  6. Tiny (not tiny)
    Scary Circus (doesn't know)
    Bucky Big Tits (doesn't know)
    Horse Killer
    Slug (I know a few Slugs)
    Grand Theft Auto (doesn't know)
    Baked Bean
    Squid :)
    Left Testicle
    Scar (doesn't know)
    many, many more I have to think.

  7. Shrimp -- petite girl
    Boop -- real name Betty
    Coon -- dark circles under eyes
    Boat -- short for his real nickname, Dreamboat
    Boogie -- short, I think, for Booger

    Kee-on -- So named because with his Coen-Brothers Minnesota accent that's how he pronounced "keen."

    Bullitt -- Friend who wanted a nickname gave herself that one but I don't think anyone called her that. Sad

    Lots of boys and some girls were known by their dads' first names. Seemed funny at the time.

    I guess I may have to rename myself, at least for this blog, Auntie T-Bone.

  8. Wesson is my best friends HUSBAND! Still a bastard...And High Pockets...that KILLS me as I know him, too. I used to work with his wife. It suits him so perfectly. He looks like a super large Erkel.

  9. Gomer
    Daggie (Dagwood)
    Tex (not from Texas)
    Schlep (Schlep Rock) (he's unlucky)

  10. Working at Boise must be like an extension of high school...except you get paid to be there.

    Don't know how my Dad did it for 35 years.

  11. BagMan
    and you know why

  12. Pigon (as in pig on)(nickname for a girl I went to grade school with in my opinion that's a horribly mean nickname for a young girl) (she moved)


I would love your comments.