Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Facebook, I love you, and I hate you.

I have a Facebook page and I'm in a love/hate relationship with it.  I love it because, obviously, I get to be in touch with every person I've ever met that has a computer without actually having to see them face to face or talk to anyone on the phone.  But I hate it too because I spend WAY too much time looking at it and trying to think of vacuous update statuses.  Actually I hate it for a lot of reasons.  I'll just make a list:

1.  I waste too much time on it.  Totally wasted time.  Nothing productive coming out of it.

2.  I can't think of status updates.  There are only so many times I can tell people I have to poop before they unfriend me. 

3.  I was talked into (by myself) to make a page for this blog and now I'm in a stupid position of waiting for people to "like" it which is kind of pathetic in a way. No, not in a away, totally.  Totally pathetic.  Thanks, Facebook.  I put a "like" button up and it immediately said that 146 people liked it.  Thanks for making me feel popular, but Facebook, we both know that was a lie, and if we both know, it's a pointless lie. 


4.  Passive aggressive status updates from friends.  For example: "Why is it that old friends hurt you the most?"  Really?  MUST you post that on a public internet bulletin board?  Can't you just start your old friend's house on fire and be quiet about it?

5.  Vague, secret-y status updates from friends.  "Today could be the day!  Cross your fingers and pray for us!" but when you ask them what they are talking about they say they don't want to talk about it.  TOO LATE.  You posted it on the internet, now you have to talk about it. I want to know because I'm not going to cross my fingers for you because I don't know what I'm crossing my fingers for.  What if you have decided to take up the worship of the ancient god Moloch and today is the day you burn an infant alive?  I'm not really for that.  

6.  Getting unfriended.  I looked at my profile one day and I had 150 friends.  I looked at it later and I had 149.  Somebody dumped me, and I looked through the list and I can't figure out who it was, which obviously means they probably weren't all that important to me, but still.  "Unfriended."  Rejection.  Yuck.

7.  Mitch makes fun of me.  He thinks having a Facebook page is narcissistic.  And that makes me think that if he thinks having a Facebook page is narcissistic, what must he think of me having an entire blog devoted to myself?  Talk about narcissistic!  But he doesn't say anything about that because he retains even more superiority in letting it remain an implication.  Now we both know that he thinks he's just a little bit better than me and that really squeezes my 'roids!

Do you have a Facebook page?   What do you think of Facebook?

(p.s.  Friend me!)
(p.p.s I hate myself)


  1. I love you and I'd friend you up and down, woman...if I only knew how. I barely figure out how to post.

    Teach me?

  2. It is a bit narcissistic, but also highly entertaining.

  3. I do have a Facebook page, but after perhaps the first month or so, my opinion of it has been on a steady decline.
    With few exceptions, it has revealed that there is a perfectly good reason the only way I could or would ever reconnect with old acquaintances is through a web site that does most of the work for me.
    I have become an aggressive pruner of my "friends" list, and have "unfriended" at least as many people as are currently counted among my friends (probably many more).
    I think Facebook is absolutely narcissistic - the only venue more self-aggrandizing, onanistic and pointless being Twitter - and a tremendous time waster but on top of that, the banality of the status content has actually *reduced* my opinion of many of the people I previously held in higher regard.
    These days, I'm keeping my account for the free access to Bejeweled Blitz, and little else.
    When I tire of relaxing free games (soon, I suspect), I will disable my account, and return to enjoying fond memories of the people I now view with growing revulsion after reading their latest updates, in which they reveal their poor choice of mates as well as their subterranean level of self-esteem, all packaged in a delightfully nebulous missive to the world.

  4. Admin - LOL, tell me what you really think, don't hold anything back! Bejeweled Blitz huh? I finally was able to rip myself from the hooks of Farmville but people keep unwithering my crops and they lure me back in. Typing Maniac got me for a while too. I wonder what we'll think of Facebook in 20 years.

  5. Sometimes when I'm feeling extra suicidal because of reduced friend numbers, I like to think that somebody got fed up and QUIT facebook (like I would do if I didn't NEED it like a crack ho), and that's why I lost one, not because somebody purposely clicked a series of buttons including "Are you SURE you want to rip out this person's heart?" because they're sick of me posting stuff about boogers and poop. And zits.


  6. Aaaaaaand we're down three more slack-jawed whiners today. That's more than 6% of my remaining contacts.
    I'm running a special sweepstakes this month - having a little fun with Facebook, after all - in which anyone dumb enough to use a "chain status" (you know: those all-caps, cow-eyed morality injections that "challenge" the reader to change their status to the same, thus propagating the stupidity) gets an express ticket off my contact list.
    I'm excited about Facebook for the first time in months. I can't wait to see who the big winners will be!

  7. Sarah -- You probably lost a friend because I quit FB awhile back. But now I'm getting intrigued -- chain status and whatnot -- and maybe I'll re-up. Again.


I would love your comments.