Thursday, October 7, 2010


I saw on Brutalism's blog (look in my blogroll) that she has a page on her blog dedicated to Frequently Asked Questions.  I have not clicked on this page on Brutalism's blog because nobody looks past the first page on a blog, am I right?  (UPDATE:  Now I have looked at her FAQ page.  She's funny.) Usually people are reading this on some sort of reader so they aren't even on your blog and can't see how beautiful your background is and how lovely your sidebar looks.  All they want is text text text, and it better be good, dammit.  In case you are reading this on an internet reader and can't see my blog (lazy), I want you to know that I have several fancy pages on my blog.  One is cartoons, another one is about stuff I read and there's a few more, but I'm on the post page right now, not on the blog, so not even I know what the other pages are.  I am going to make a FAQ page too just because it looks like fun.  But first I need someone to ask me some questions.  Nobody ever asks me questions.  I'll get you started:

Q:  Sarah, is it true you were in the Miss International Falls (Miss IF) Pageant in 1990 and that your talent was gleeking?

A:  Thanks for your question, faithful reader.  No, I was not ever in the Miss International Falls pageant although I've attended many.  I am a prolific gleeker, however, (just ask Jon Olson) and if I ever do enter a pageant, that will be my talent. 

Q:  Sarah, what is your favorite/least favorite food?

A:  Thanks for that question.  My favorite food is any kind of calorie-dense carbohydrate.  Pita chips come to mind.  And pie crust.  I guess I like fat a lot too.  My least favorite "food" is rubarb.  Barf.

Q:  Hi Sarah, can you explain string theory to me?

A:  Fuck no!

See?  It's easy!  Did you notice that one of those questions was based on a lie?  I was never in a pageant.  Nobody who has ever seen my wardrobe would think I was in a pageant, but I'm trying to get you used to reading lies on this blog because I'm planning on increasing my lying.  (It's called "fiction," people).  All of my answers were absolutely true, as will be all the answers I give to the questions you ask me.  If you have a mean question to ask me and you don't want me to know who it is that's asking (i.e. "who in the hell do you think you are?"), ask away!  Just comment anonymously. 

And because Mitch says I'm "phoning it in" when I don't have a picture on my post, here's a picture:

Okay, I'll be waiting.....


  1. You hate rhubarb so much you misspelled it just to prove your contempt. It's a member of the buckwheat family, you know. I'm thinking of changing my name to First Sarah. What do you think?

  2. I have a good question! It's so good, you could do an entire post on it. Ready? Here goes:

    Sarah, if you had the choice to travel in time, would you go back in history or forward to the future. Explain your answer. (and yes you could come back to the present at any time that you wanted to.)

    You know, I gleeked the other day and thought of you. It went all the way across the dining room table! You would have been so proud!

  3. I actually visit people's blogs and click on their pages. I like to know who I'm reading. I didn't even know you could read blogs in a reader. That feels like cheating to me. :)

  4. Ahhhh, all this time I thought "gleeking" was geek who watch "Glee." But I like your version better.

  5. Do you thing Mr. T is wearing an ingenious Toupee?

  6. Why are you so gassy?

  7. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

    I asked an Owl (for some reason) and the son-of -a-bitch just ate it.

  8. For answers, see my NEW FAQ PAGE! YAY!

  9. Nice FAQ page. It's ZuckerBERG, though.

  10. What is your best fun fact? (Everyone has one -- my cousin knocked himself unconscious once while snow skiing while trying to impress a date, for instance). I'm sure you have a few good ones. We need answers!!!

    (And thanks for the mention. Cannot wait to read your FAQs).

  11. How do I get to your FAQ's page?

  12. If I have any other FAQ's for you (you know I do) I post it here or on the FAQ comments or email it??

  13. Anne, you can send them any and all of the ways you mentioned. Or just put it on the latest post. Any one of those ways would work for me.


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