Me: What was that? That face? What's wrong with kissing?
Mitch: I think maybe it's a claustrophobia thing.
Me: Mitch! Kissing is wonderful. It's like our two souls holding hands. (sigh)
Mitch: My mom always used to tell us that human mouths were the filthiest part of the body, and when you think about it, kissing is just smashing one disgusting bacteria hole against another disgusting bacteria hole.
Me: ........ (disgusting bacteria hole agape)
Mitch: What?
Me: That is about the most unromantic thing I have ever heard anyone say, ever.
Mitch: Are you telling me that if a strange kindergartener came up to you right now and licked your hand, you wouldn't be grossed out and immediately go and wash it?
Me: Well..... yeah. That would be gross. Kindergarteners are gross. Really gross. Yuck.
Mitch: Okay then.
Me: I still like kissing. We're making out later.
Mitch: (sigh)
Me: I have to go wash my hands.
gross
I think Mitch and BF are too close for comfort.
ReplyDeleteI adored Mitch's dildo antics... I now have lost some love for him.
Not kissing blows! How can we reform our men? They certainly don't mind the "disgusting bacteria hole" up against another... areas... ya know??
Hmmmm... *thinking and confused*
Too funny! I'm not sure if my husband actually feels that way about kissing, but I can totally see him saying something like that!
ReplyDeletebefore your next makeout session, make sure to eat a bunch of oreos and ho-hos. and leave them all mashed into inconspicuous spaces.
ReplyDeleteYeah, women always want to say it's so romantic, but where's my wife when I just drank a huge glass of milk?
ReplyDeleteLOL! This is great!
ReplyDeleteMitch won't let my head within 10 feet of his if I drink milk. The only thing he thinks is grosser than kissing is milk.
ReplyDelete