Me: What was that? That face? What's wrong with kissing?
Mitch: I think maybe it's a claustrophobia thing.
Me: Mitch! Kissing is wonderful. It's like our two souls holding hands. (sigh)
Mitch: My mom always used to tell us that human mouths were the filthiest part of the body, and when you think about it, kissing is just smashing one disgusting bacteria hole against another disgusting bacteria hole.
Me: ........ (disgusting bacteria hole agape)
Me: That is about the most unromantic thing I have ever heard anyone say, ever.
Mitch: Are you telling me that if a strange kindergartener came up to you right now and licked your hand, you wouldn't be grossed out and immediately go and wash it?
Me: Well..... yeah. That would be gross. Kindergarteners are gross. Really gross. Yuck.
Mitch: Okay then.
Me: I still like kissing. We're making out later.
Me: I have to go wash my hands.