Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Reasons I Hate to Fly

1.  Being off the ground
2.  Going fast
3.  Waiting in line at security for 45 minutes only to be searched because I forgot about a can of Diet Coke in my purse.  Then having the smartass TSA lady say, "You wanna go back out and drink this?"  
4.  Taking off.
5.  As I'm gripping the armrests upon landing, overhearing a flight attendant say, "Well, I've never been in wind like this before.  Ever."
6.  Watching people who hold up the entire "deplaning" process because they forgot which overhead bin they put their giant suitcase in an hour before.
7.  Looking to see which gate my connecting flight is at on the big board: A8.  Looking to see which gate I'm currently at: A76.  Looking at my watch to see that I have 15 minutes to cover approximately 2 miles of airport carrying the heaviest carry-on in the world.
8.  The free-flowing sweat from running 2 miles in the airport carrying heaviest bag in the world and wearing every bulky thing I'm bringing that I didn't want to pack. Discovering my deodorant isn't all that effective under pressure.
9.  Sitting next to a claustrophobic nerd who is reading a book about Facebook and marking it with little tiny sticky-flags and saying, "Oh," and "Huh!" and "Wow.." every five seconds while reading it.  Nothing is that interesting.
10.  Landing.
11.  Sitting on the tarmac for an extra 45 minutes after landing with Claustrophobic Nerd who is on the edge of a major panic attack, and thinking of giving him the idea of popping out the door and activating the big slide so we can get the hell out of there.


  1. I heard on the news today that the airport people will be allowed to increase body searches for people who don't want to go through scanning. This includes palm down searches that include breasts and genitalia. So you know, it could have been worse... or better depending on your perspective.

  2. I hate all of that, plus the possibility of plummeting from the blue skies above.

  3. Ooooh, I hear ya sister.

    I HATE HATE HATE flying.

    We almost tipped sideways last year on a flight to Jamaica. BF travels A LOT for work and he later admitted he had never been on an angle like that. He couldn't believe we didn't crash, then also couldn't believe they didn't turn the plane around and land it.


    Good luck on the way home.

  4. That's why I only fly non-stop and first class. I also buy tickets for the two seats on either side of me so I don't have to sit next to crazy people.

    Then I go home and roll in my money pile.



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