Thursday, October 28, 2010

Tourist

I went on a six hour guided tour today.  It was a bus/walking tour of D.C. with a lunch cruise on the Potomac.  It was Awesome!  Here's the highlights:

Ben Franklin waved to me. 
"Hi Ben!"

Our tour guide, Dion, who I love and he loves me back, in front of the capitol building.

A professional tourist.  I thought I looked like a nerdy tourist with my backpack and my map but this lady has me beat.  I never even thought of a brown velour sweatsuit and over-glasses-sunglasses WITH NO GLASSES UNDERNEATH.  Well played, lady.  Well played.

Guess where!

WWII Memorial

President Obama in Marine 1.  I'm not even kidding.*  I saw him get on.

 President Jefferson.  He was a GIANT.

This lady came all the way from Kansas to get bit by a big-city squirrel.  

Watch out, Phyllis!  The laser-eyed killer wants more chips!
Hope your rabies shots go okay!

This is FDR.  He was one of our greatest presidents.  He got us out of the Depression, started Social Security, and (not a lot of people know this about him) he was also the Green Hornet.

Giant Abe

Forrest Gump Pool

Super depressing Vietnam Memorial

If you don't stay on the sidewalk you are dishonoring people who died for our country. 
And if you walk on my lawn you make the Baby Jesus cry.

This is the heaviest flagpole in the world.

After my tour I went to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History to go on the "Night at the Museum II" tour.  Just kidding.  They don't have that.  (I checked.) 

Nobody was talking about the elephant in the room.

AAAAAHHHHHH!

This fanged-deer was in the Hall of Joke Animals along with the Easter Bunny and Snuffalupagus.

This bronze caveman is handing me some bronze meat and I can see his bronze penis.

Early golf

This is a crocheted reef.  Yeah, a crocheted reef.  Ding ding.

 I wanted to see the Hope Diamond.  And then I saw it and I was like, "Big whoop."

AAAAAHHHHH!!!

So that was my day.  Busy.  I really crammed a lot of stuff in today.  It was so fun!  Tomorrow Michelle Obama and I are going out to lunch at Panera Bread. 




*I'm kidding


8 comments:

  1. You picked the right time to go to DC. Every time I have ever been there it has been July or August, which is sort of howmuchasssweatcanonepersonhave hot!

    Great pics.

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  2. The Hope diamond looks like it's on a roll of paper towels. Your day sounded fun.

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  3. Neat tour. Looks like you saw a lot of cool stuff. As a side note, FDR didn't get us out of the depression. WWII did that, but other than that I loved this post with all the pictures. Loved the caption for the elephant picture! :)

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  4. Snuffy is a joke animal? That sucks.

    :)

    Looks like a great day!

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  5. Imagine if you were the guy making those statues talking to the boss:

    "How big do you want me to make the penis? Should I just lay it out there? I know they didn't circumsize back then but should I just go ahead and make it look like that?

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  6. Hey lets have two wars to get us out of the current recession. or perhaps its is not so simplistic. possibly being tied to the gold standard had something to do with the depression or having nearly 9000 bank failures within 5 years, or coming out of the the worst drought conditions this country has seen (you know the Grapes of Wrath, the Dust Bowl) or the Smoot-Hawley Tariff which though its protectionism put a huge dent in our trade with all of Europe, or maybe its that the economy just needed a world war.

    Sure taking men out of the work force to go to war does open up the job market, but if this was the cure for the depression wouldn't we fall back into the depression at the end of the war?

    or is it possible that the creation of the Agricultural Adjustment Administration, the Civilian Conservation Corps, the Farm Credit Administration, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, the Federal Emergency Relief Administration, the National Recovery Administration, the Public Works Administration and the Tennessee Valley Authority, the Emergency Banking Bill, the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933, the Farm Credit Act, the National Industrial Recovery Act and the Truth-in-Securities Act, the Securities and Exchange Act and the Trade Agreement Act, he Works Progress Administration, the National Labor Relations Board and the Rural Electrification Administration, Banking Act of 1935, the Emergency Relief Appropriation Act, the National Labor Relations Act, and the Social Security Act,Soil Conservation and Domestic Allotment Act etc, etc... had something to do with it. I know they were not all winners and not even all constitutional but you must admit this was a president and a congress at work trying to fix a badly broken economy.

    Another interesting thing to note is that the US was coming out of the depression as early as 1939 and that Sweden (1934) and Germany (1938) preceded us

    I guess I don't know that war is the cure for economic depression, but i sure hope not.

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  7. Dana McKibbage WaldbilligOctober 31, 2010 at 9:21 AM

    omg...wt??!!

    LMELAO (laughing my ever-lovin' ass off)

    DELETE

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  8. oooh, my god, how funny..

    the bronze penis...i love it...

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