Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Today was the day of the big rally so we left Amy's around mid morning thinking the ride on the Metro would be maybe a little busier than usual, but totally do-able in a reasonable amount of time.  We got to our regular station and there was a line about a mile long.  We couldn't believe it.  We met some ladies who were from Michigan who were also going to the rally and they said, "Are you ladies going to the rally?" and again, my uncle was all, "What The HELL?" He doesn't look like a lady to us. Does he look like a lady to you?  Here's a picture:

 Just kidding.  That's not him.  That's Bea Arthur.  Here he is for real:

That's him on the right.  ....... No, the RIGHT!

So we drove a few stations up hoping it would be less crowded, and it was slightly less crowded, but still unbelievable.  Here look:

 

That's a LOT of people.  We kept telling my uncle that we were going to pinch the butt of the lady right in front of him so she'd think he did it.  He didn't want us to do that.

We got to the Mall and there was oh, soooo many people.  We couldn't get anywhere near the stage, or even one of the jumbotrons to see what was going on, and we could barely hear what was going on.  It was hard to stay together in such a big crowd so Amy and I took off on our own and went to the National Archives while the Roots were playing on stage.  The Roots are good and all, but like I said, it was Crow-DED!

The Archives were not crowded, in fact, they were practically empty and I got to use an entire bathroom all to myself.  It was fantastic (and now I can say that something of mine is in the National Archives.)  Then we went to look at the documents.  We were looking at the Declaration of Independence and I was in awe that I was actually looking at it, and Amy said, "Wow.  They used really big paper back then.  Like, really big paper."

After that we went back outside and found a hot dog vendor and got a hot dog and then decided to cross the Mall to check out the rally and head over to the American History Museum.  We got trapped in a bottleneck of crowd about right here:


It was MILES away from the stage and we couldn't really hear anything but it was literally impossible to get any closer because of the tightly packed crowd.  We fought against the crowd, an ambulance, some police on horses (I almost got trampled by a horse and only have my fear and my ability to make my arms incredibly stiff to thank for saving my life) and after about an hour we made it to the other side of the mall and then, and only then, did I consult my trusty map to find out where the American History Museum was.  It was on the other side of the Mall.  Kind of right by the hot dog stand where we got hot dogs an hour before.  I thought Amy might strangle me.  We crossed over a few blocks away from the rally, and walked down to the end of the Mall and then walked in not-so-crowded crowds to the American History Museum where we saw lots of cool stuff, like this:

 

That, ladies and gentlemen, is George Washington's military uniform.  The one that he wore to pose for portraits.  

Lincoln's actual stovepipe hat that he last wore at Ford's Theater.  (and we all know how that turned out!)

And Kermit the Frog.  Amy said she thought he was much bigger than he is.  We also saw Archie Bunker's chair, Carol Burnett's Gone With The Wind dress, and Dorothy's ruby slippers.  (jealous?)  Then we went and looked at the gallery of First Lady inaugural dresses.  We were a little disappointed to discover that the only dress that would probably fit us was Barbara Bush's dress.  And it was so ugly I wouldn't wear it even if I had the chance (cat sound!).  

Then we met up with my aunt and uncle again and tried to find a place to get a beer but every bar within a mile of the Mall was packed like sardines, so we just came back to Amy's, ordered a pizza, and watched the rally, which Amy had recorded.  It was very good.  Here are the highlights:

The stage

Stephen Colbert in a Captain America costume complete with cape.

Stephen Colbert in star pants, a flag sweater, and cowboy boots.

Stephen Colbert high-fiving a giant puppet of Stephen Colbert.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert having a debate.  

There was other stuff too, but if you want to know about it you are going to have to watch it on Comedy Central or CSPAN or something because what am I?  Your personal reporter on the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear?  No, I'm not.  Do your own homework.